- Several of the young ladies who graduated with Girlie Bear discovered that hooker heels and “Pomp and Circumstance” rarely work together.
- Speaking of which, whoever on the Jefferson County School Board decided that all high school graduations need to happen at the state fairgrounds on Friday and Saturday of Memorial Day, with Girlie Bear’s happening during rush hour, I hope your grandmother’s soul is used as toilet paper at Beelzebub’s Indian restaurant.
- 336 students graduated from Girlie Bear’s school on Friday evening. Congratulations to all of them for making it through the Greater Jefferson County Day Care and Criminal Incubation Collective.
- I will, however, point out that there were around 600 students in her freshman class. Even assuming lots of people coming to their senses and moving out of the county, that’s still a pretty significant number of kids who didn’t graduate.
- We took Girlie Bear out for a nice dinner on Saturday. Boo got the lobster macaroni and cheese. We may have created a monster.
- In retrospect, I was an adult before I knew what real lobster and crab tasted like.
All posts in category Thought for the day
Musings
Posted by daddybear71 on May 29, 2016
https://daddybearsden.com/2016/05/29/musings-196/
Musings
- When I walk away from you while muttering in a foreign language, it’s not an encouraging sign.
- Nothing starts a date night with the wife off better than hearing her holler “Honey, the toilet won’t flush and there’s water coming out of the bathtub drain!”
- We did get our date, at least that’s what I’m calling our trip to the home improvement store this evening.
- I’d like to thank the patron saint of home repair for safeguarding our plumbing until after the party on Friday night.
- If your store doesn’t stock something that your website says it does, sarcasm is not the correct response to me asking where it is.
- Girlie Bear is winding down her last few days before graduation. I was going to make her start looking for a summer job, but she found out she’s landed a Monday to Friday, almost full time job.
- Hopefully this is a predictor of the rest of her life.
Posted by daddybear71 on May 23, 2016
https://daddybearsden.com/2016/05/23/musings-195/
Musings
- It occurs to me that Kentucky Derby horses need names more appropriate to the event:
- Infield Indiscretion
- Floppy Hat
- Julep Jezebel
- Nuclear Sunburn
- Cheap Bourbon Hangover
- Girlie Bear went with her JROTC group on Friday night to help clean up from the Kentucky Oaks. Last year she had to tell several adults that the taped-up two-liters they were picking up in the parking lot were probably from meth labs and they really ought to leave them alone. This year, she picked up a beer can in the parking lot and noticed that it had four or five used hypodermic needles in it. Good times, good times.
- It is not a good idea to skip lunch when you’re smoking a turkey near an open window.
- The garden is pretty much in the ground. Now to fight off the advance of nature in its never-ending quest to strangle anything I put in the ground.
Posted by daddybear71 on May 7, 2016
https://daddybearsden.com/2016/05/07/musings-193/
Musings
- There’s nothing like finding a pair of hot 120v wires with nothing but 20 year old masking tape covering their bare ends to make you think good thoughts about the previous owners of your home.
- Dear custom counter top makers – The time to learn that you are contractually restricted from selling a certain countertop to a store, and through them, to me, is not two and a half weeks after I shelled out my hard earned money for them, and two and a half weeks before I am planning on having people over to the house.
- The home supply center did right by us, and we should have countertops within the next fourteen days.
- Luckily, the nice lady we worked with took the “We are so sorry, and we will make this right” approach with us, and not the “We already have your money, so what are you going to do?” approach.
- Dear Vendor – If you ever create another interface that makes me hit “OK” 6,052 times to change the date every element in a dataset ages out and gets deleted, I am going to hunt you down, gut you like a trout, and use your entrails to string a bass violin.
- I am not exaggerating, on either the number of “OK”s, or the consequences..
- Dear Mother Nature – Please pick a temperature and a barometric pressure. I don’t mean to complain, but I’m beginning to have the posture and personality of a honey badger.
- I have several restaurant reviews for those of you coming into town for the NRAAM. Look for them to get done when I’m not exhausted, pissed off, and/or under the weather.
- Why do I get the same feeling down the center of my spine when Irish Woman says “Don’t get me anything for Mother’s Day” as I did when the guy four feet from me in Bosnia stepped on something and it went “CLICK!”?
Posted by daddybear71 on May 4, 2016
https://daddybearsden.com/2016/05/04/musings-192/
Musings
- One of the issues with listening to a long playlist of Prince music is having to rush to the computer to hit the fast forward button every few songs because you realize the kids are in the room.
- The 12+ foot long piece of laminate countertop is going to be repurposed in the basement family room at some time in the future. In the meantime, I’m paying a professional to make and cut the large, interlocking countertops for the kitchen.
- Half of success is admitting when it’s a bad idea to even attempt something.
- While troubleshooting the air conditioning unit tonight, the housing for its fuses snapped in half while I was removing it.
- That’s what I get for trying to not have an ambulance in my front yard.
- It’s never a good thing when the guy at the home improvement store looks at the part in your hand and says “Huh, not sure if they make those anymore”
- I found the part at the fourth electrical supply store I went to. They found it in a box nobody had looked in for about 20 years.
- I love sending emails that boil down to “Hey, you remember when you gave me a temporary, 120 day license for the software I bought from you? Well, it’s day 127, and I’m dead in the water.”
Posted by daddybear71 on April 22, 2016
https://daddybearsden.com/2016/04/22/musings-191/
Musings
- Of all the things I’ve done in my life, I don’t think I’ve ever been as scared as I am about cutting into Irish Woman’s new countertops.
- Irish Woman is done with the floor in the kitchen, so now it’s time to move an electrical outlet for the new refrigerator..
- The last time I did electrical work in the kitchen, I blew the house main breaker. To this day I do not know how I ended up on the other side of the kitchen.
- We can see the light at the end of the tunnel: The new appliances will be delivered tomorrow.
- It’s going to be nice to not do dishes in the bathtub.
- I’ve been taking an on-line class on one of the new tools we have at work, and I’m learning a lot. I’ve also learned that when my brain dribbles out of my right ear, it means that it’s full and I should knock off for the day.
Posted by daddybear71 on April 14, 2016
https://daddybearsden.com/2016/04/14/musings-190/
Musings
- You put the range hood in, you take the range hood out, you put the range hood in and you shake it all about.
- A tile saw was one of the better investments I’ve ever made.
- Girlie Bear got the scare of a lifetime when she tried to do a load of laundry after work tonight. We had all just settled in for the night, and she remembered that she needed to do a load of laundry. At midnight. Unfortunately for her, the normal route of going through the kitchen to get to the basement is a no-go due to the new tile floor still setting up. So she went out the creaky side door, laundry bag in hand, and went in the creaky back door. At that point, she jumped out of her ever loving skin when her father came roaring into the kitchen, bellowing, “Who the @#$!@#$ is coming into my house!” Luckily for everyone, I recognized her scream.
- As I write this, I’m having an adult beverage and waiting for my blood pressure to come back down to normal.
- Hopefully tonight is the last night we have to light the signal fires and stoke the furnaces in the garden to protect the fruit trees from climate change.
- I need to find the nice lady at the home improvement store and tell her that she was incorrect when she told me that marriage counselors could be found in Aisle 12.
Posted by daddybear71 on April 10, 2016
https://daddybearsden.com/2016/04/10/musings-189/
Musings
- Irish Woman spent months planning this kitchen re-do. She did an awesome job. The cabinets are all up, and they are usually within an inch or so of where she planned for them to go.
- What she failed to plan for, unfortunately, is the fact that I have no idea what I’m doing. In fact, I well and truly suck at this.
- Putting down cement tile backer board isn’t as much fun as having the first few layers of skin peeled back on my thighs with a rusty can opener, but it’s a close second.
- We’ve had several swings between warm and cold in the past few weeks, and we’ve been lighting up kerosene heaters and charcoal grills at night to keep our fruit trees from getting frost or freezing. By my estimation, we will surpass the cost of just buying organic fruit this weekend.
- Girlie Bear has been getting some static from her university when it comes to getting access to their system to register for orientation and such. Today, she tried again, and was put off by the staff. She then cast “Summon Pissed Off Step-Mom”, rolled a natural 20, and now has access to the university system to register for orientation.
- It was awesome to see. There was the “Head Shake” combat style, the “Overly Polite Southern Woman” approach, and a whole bunch of other bad things I was glad weren’t directed at me.
Posted by daddybear71 on April 6, 2016
https://daddybearsden.com/2016/04/06/musings-188/
Musings
- The over-the-entire-body-but-especially-over-my-ribs pain I had when I woke up this morning means I probably overdid it yesterday.
- Activities included taking down two cabinets in the kitchen, putting up another in their place, re-installing the ones I took down in other spots, then installing the last of the upper cabinets and two of the lowers. Then we moved a solid oak dining room table and chairs into the house and assembled it, brought wood in for a cold evening, and set up kerosene heaters and barbecue grills to keep our fruit trees from freezing.
- Did you know that time dilates to a huge extent when you can’t take in a breath at all? Having your entire weight fall onto an aluminum ladder (Yes, my feet were higher than my head when I impacted), with all that force concentrated on your ribs, might be the secret to faster than light travel.
- Well, we gotta get two star systems over by tomorrow. Schmuckatelli, it’s your turn to get smacked in the ribs with a heavy metal instrument. Okey, deep breath!
- I’m not stuck writing the next part of the second Minivandians book. I know what’s going to happen in the next few scenes and I really don’t want to write that just this minute.
- I’m a somewhat intelligent man, so you’d think I’d have noticed that the electricity went off yesterday afternoon, making that whole “Let’s do dinner in the crock pot to save money and time” thing moot.
- Irish Woman sends Boo outside to play in jeans, tee shirt, sweatshirt, shoes, and cap. I send Boo out to play in a pair of long shorts, sweatshirt, and shoes.
- In both cases, the shoes get ditched within 20 feet of the house, which is why I gave up on putting socks on him.
- It must be spring. Irish Woman caught herself concealed-carrying a pair of pruning shears to the store today.
Posted by daddybear71 on April 3, 2016
https://daddybearsden.com/2016/04/03/musings-187/
Musings
- I can speak and read several languages. “Drywall” is not one of them.
- I think my biggest mistake is doing a half-ways decent job at most of the little ‘projects’ that my loving wife finds to fill my spare time. She seems to take this as a hint to find something else for me to do, just a little more complicated and expensive.
- We better get this project done soon, because Irish Woman is getting tired of hearing me hum Dire Straits.
- Just when I thought I couldn’t get more irritated with vendors, I try to provide input to an ‘automatic’ tool to compare my systems against an industry standard.
- “Provide your preferred level of firmware for each of the models you own in this format: The first octet of the firmware level, the last four numbers of your great-aunt’s driver’s license number, a comma, a cryptic Cyrillic letter, and the blood type of a random stranger.”
Posted by daddybear71 on March 30, 2016
https://daddybearsden.com/2016/03/30/musings-186/
DaddyBear
DaddyBear’s Den 