• Archives

  • Topics

  • Meta

  • The Boogeyman - Working Vacation
  • Coming Home
  • Quest To the North
  • Via Serica
  • Tales of the Minivandians
  • Join the NRA

    Join the NRA!

Today’s Earworm

Thought for the Day

Thought for the Day

Today’s Earworm

Thanks, Bud. God be with you.

A Decision Has Been Made

The other day, Irish Woman and I were discussing our plans for the yard this year. She wants to relocate some blueberry bushes and put in another vegetable bed.

I commented about how the lawn mower needed its annual service, and that we’d probably be doing our first cut of the year by the end of March.

That’s when the… discussion started.

It appears that since we moved to our current house, I have been monopolizing the time spent riding around on the lawn mower. I have, with malice and forethought, given up about 1/4 of my weekend to mow, trim, and clean up our yard.

How awful of me. To go out on a Saturday morning, gas up the John Deere, and spend two hours mowing the lawn. Then, I put a battery in the string trimmer and whack weeds and edge along the driveway and sidewalk. I oppressively make sure the areas around the mailbox, trees, power poles, and the still-unused basketball goal are neat.

And let us not forget the pure ecstasy of using a leaf blower to get all of the clippings and dirt off of the sidewalk and driveway so that they aren’t permanently stained green the next time we drive or walk upon them.

I am robbing, yes robbing my family of the enjoyment of having to take a shower until the water no longer runs green. I am denying them the joy of having a pair of shoes so nasty by July that I have to throw them out in September.

Why, I am even taking away the joy one gets when you are 30 feet away from being done and have the weed whacker run out of string or battery, or both.

To atone for these and other sins, I have made a decision, in keeping with my powers as Pater Familias.

This year, I ain’t mowing a damned thing.

Instead, I shall sit upon my deck, drinking coffee, and watching the grass grow on Saturday mornings. I shall refrain from purchasing lawn mower parts, not even the fuel needed to have the movable feast that is riding a lawn mower through clouds of gnats and straining grass clippings out of a beverage with my teeth.

Instead, I shall leave that pleasure to the ones I love. In fact, I will leave it all to them. Far be it from me to deprive my son of the lesson of getting out of bed at the crack of dawn on a Saturday so that you can start that mower up right at 8 AM.

My wife will know the joy of having to set a calendar event on Friday night to make sure the batteries for the weed whacker and leaf blower are charging before she goes to bed.

I, on the other hand, will know the shame of sitting in their usual spot, watching someone else toil. Perhaps I shall sip coffee, or maybe even iced tea. I shall, on occasion, take a cold beverage out to them, then get pissy when they neither see nor hear me trying to get their attention.

Oh, my family, how I have wronged you. Fear not, for I have recognized my sins, and will endeavor to not repeat them. Enjoy the chlorophyll tattoos on your calves and ankles, the chigger bites, and the sunburns. I shall do my penance by doing things in the air conditioning for a summer.

That Woman is Trying to Kill Me

But I will die happy.

You see the ingredients for a ‘confection’ that Irish Woman is making for the fish fry tomorrow night. I’ll calling it Cinnamon Catholic Crack. She’s going to have people stroking out in diabetic shock just from contact, and I don’t think they could survive making cookie crumb angels with this.

Didn’t know you could buy this in bulk. All I need now is a mirror and a razor blade.

This may be my last transmission. I have been warned to keep my hands off, but I’m thinking it’s worth the promised untimely demise.

Today’s Earworm

Overheard in the Living Room

She Who Shall Not Be Named – Hey, that bourbon tasting is coming up again.

Me – Cool. You want to go again?

SWSNBN – Oh, yeah. It was great last time we went.

Me – Sure, we can go. But this time, it’s my turn to drink.

SWSNBN – Oh, then I don’t need to go.

Me – ….. What the shit?

Today’s Earworm

I don’t always listen to this kind of music on headphones while I work, but when I do, so does everyone else in the cube farm.


  • The 2024 Presidential campaign is cranking up, and as an independent voter, I must say that I am not impressed.
  • I expect the Democrats to do one of two things:
    • Nominate some horry harridan or simpering sycophant from one of the coasts in the name of optics and message.
    • Line up behind Joe Biden to prop him up long enough to toss his mangled carcass across the finish line, then pick the bones for as long as they can.
      • I would not bet money on VP Harris’ chances of being on the ticket. Stranger things have happened, and she will bring in black voters to some extent, but I just don’t see her sticking around waiting for Biden to keel over on live, international news feeds so she can assume the office.
  • On the other hand, I expect the Republicans to do one of two things
    • Renominate Trump after a long and bitter primary fight, thereby pissing off half of the electorate enough to motivate them to go the polls and pull the lever for anyone but OrangeManBad.
    • Not nominate Trump, thereby pissing off a good chunk of their base, demotivating them enough that they sit home on Election Day.
  • For each, I see very few third ways.
    • The Democrats could search the bowels of their party to find a reasonable, populist candidate that can connect with someone to the right of Stalin and younger than Methuselah. I’m sure there’s at least one or two left, somewhere. Perhaps they’re walled in somewhere in the basement of DNC headquarters, just waiting to be released back into the sunlight so they can be lambasted by the ‘right’ people in their party.
    • The Republicans could thread the needle and find someone enough like Trump that the Trump voting block will show up and enough not like Trump that the anti-Trump voting block doesn’t start screeching and throwing poo.
    • I don’t exactly have much faith that either party will be able to accomplish anything that slows down the rotation as we approach oblivion, but never say never.
  • Speaking of presidential politics, a thought occurred to me the other day:
    • In 2016, any Democrat except Hillary Clinton could have beaten Trump.
    • In 2020, any Republican except Donald Trump could have beaten Biden.
    • I have no idea what’s going to happen in 2024, but it’s going to make for some really interesting history in about 50 years.
  • On the economic front, I may be investing in a kayak. If we’re going to circle the drain, might as well have fun while we’re doing it.
  • Those who say that Biden is getting us involved in Ukraine in order to either enrich himself and his cronies, or to distract us from other issues need to remember to never assign to malice that which can be assigned to incompetence.
  • I am in a bit of a disagreement with my wife at the moment. You see, Irish Woman intercepted a box from Lucky Gunner the other day, and apparently its size was ‘deceptive’.
    • The disagreement is whether or not a grown woman can put her back out trying to lift a small box containing 1000 9mm cartridges.
  • I’ll be heading down to Nashville for a small ‘con this weekend. It’s a good chance to hang out with members of the tribe, recharge my batteries, and hear Southern American English with less twang in it.
%d bloggers like this: