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  • You know, for a guy who makes his living dealing with technology, I’m really starting to hate technology.
    • No, that’s OK, mister work phone, please spontaneously reboot and reset yourself to factory settings.
    • Of course, miss laptop screen, it’s perfectly fine for you to start having fuzzy weird digital ghosts at odd moments while I’m scrolling around.
    • Oh, no, please, excuse me, mister TV remote.  It’s entirely my fault that you have decided that you will only work at angles ranging from 0 to 15 degrees from center of the television screen.
  • The peanut butter eggs in the white wrappers are not, in fact, ‘diet’ peanut butter eggs.
    • I stand corrected.
  • I can wait another week or two for the movie I ordered to arrive because Amazon has it on backorder, or I can cancel that order and go to the local Big Box Retail Cooperative and buy a copy there.
    • The downside of waiting is, well, waiting.
    • The downside of buying local is that I’ll have to go to Big Box Retail Cooperative and deal with, shudder, people.
    • Oh, well, movie’ll get here when it gets here.
  • One advantage of working from home a couple days a week is that my lunches are of higher quality.
    • You see, when I take my lunch to work, I usually just have leftovers microwaved on a paper plate.
    • When I’m at home, I can get fancy and use an actual dish to heat up my leftovers.  Perhaps I can even use real silverware.
    • Not only that, but I can have tap water cooled in my very own refrigerator.  At work, I have tap water that’s cooled with ice chunks like a peasant.
  • Apparently, “‘Tear down the flood walls, bulldoze it flat, and salt the earth with radium” was not the answer the young lady with the clipboard was looking for when she asked me what I thought the mayor could do to make Louisville better.
    • When that answer seemed to confuse her, I told her to just put down that I thought we ought to hire more teachers.
  • I saw an ad the other night for a company called ‘Dads Heating and Cooling’. I imagine their service calls involve a lot of demands for you to get out of their light and to fetch them the 3/8’s.


  • I’d like to send a shout-out to the Kentucky Transportation Cabinet, who has been working hard on the roads hereabouts lately.
    • It takes real talent to make a road worse after the repair.
    • Here’s a hint – If the only notification that your road crew is removing barrels after dark is when my headlights hit their reflective vests, you’re doing it wrong.
    • Yes, I was doing the speed limit, and there were “ROAD CREW” signs posted. I got over onto the shoulder a bit to give them room once I knew they were there, but lights are cheap and road workers are worth the expense.
  • A rural SUPERDUPERMART on a Sunday night is a real cultural experience.
    • There was a lot of mutton dressed up as lamb, a lot of lamb dressed up as breeding ewe, and a few rams dressed up as… well, not as rams.
    • Folks from all over the hemisphere, of all ages, seem to congregate there to mix and mingle.
    • I must be weird for needing an ironing board.  I got more looks than the older woman who was wearing clothing five sizes too small.
  • There was a strange point during my drive tonight where a rock station faded out somewhat, a country station faded in a bit, and they both mixed in with a Spanish station on the same frequency.
    • The condition only lasted for a few minutes.  I was hoping to hear some station identifiers so I try to figure what kind of weird hop would cause that.
  • I have done my yearly mowing of the lawn.  I do not plan on doing it again until this time next year.
    • The act of clipping the top six or seven inches off of a perfectly good blade of grass is alien to me.


  • Somewhere, there is a religion which believes that the punishment for a sinful life is trudging randomly back and forth, hemmed in by harpies and sloths, always seeking, but never finding.  I know this because I stumbled into their hell the other day when I went grocery shopping.
  • The only thing better than going bowling on a rainy afternoon during spring break is going bowling on a rainy afternoon during spring break and getting cheese fries as a bonus.
  • On one side of us while we were bowling yesterday was a group of adults with developmental disabilities.  On the other, there was a pair of young mothers with five school-age children.
    • Guess which group was better behaved and were better sports?
    • If my kids had ever acted like that in a bowling alley, they’d have been fed into the ball return pour encourager les autres.
  • Since the weather was nice today, I had the great idea of taking Boo to the zoo this morning.  Unfortunately, every parent in the tri-state area had the same idea.
  • I need to look back at what was going on last last summer, because we must have had some major weather event or something that shut folks into their homes.  At least half of the crowd at the zoo was either extremely pregnant or carrying/carting around itsy bitsy babies.
  • Boo seems to be entering another growth spurt.  He had yogurt this morning at 7, a hearty breakfast at 8.  He was given an apple as a snack at 10, and we had lunch at 11:30.  By 1 PM, he was starving to death, and after another piece of fruit at 2, was giving the cat that lean and hungry look I always associate with wolves at the end of a long, hard winter.


  • It’s officially allergy season here in Indiucky.  By that, I mean that every darned tree and bush Irish Woman has planted in our yard is trying to kill me with its reproductive cycle.
    • On a side note, you know you waited too late to take a Benadryl before bedtime when you wake up the next morning and have trouble working the coffee maker and toothbrush.
  • Boo has begun doing extra chores to make money.  So far, he has learned how to do a load of laundry with supervision, clear the table, bring empty trash bins back from the curb, and pick up branches and sticks that have fallen out of our maple.
    • He is working to save enough money to buy one of those horridly expensive Lego sets.
    • I have suppressed my urge to make up a tax statement and keep a portion of his wages to support the pets.
    • I think I’ll leave that until he’s 12 or so.
  • Irish Woman is aghast over the fact that our 9 year old is almost as tall as she is, wears the same shoe size as she does, and is giving all of the early signs of a growth spurt.
    • I, on the other hand, am just looking at this as par for the course.  I shot up four to six inches between 2nd and 3rd grades.
  • Girlie Bear was issued a kevlar helmet in ROTC this week.  Apparently they didn’t have any that are big enough for her.  She thanked me for giving her a bucket head.  I called her a long-haired hippie and told her to get a hair cut and make room in the helmet.
    • That’s me,  just a great big cuddly bear of a parent.
  • I’m taking a week off to spend spring break with Boo.  We have the usual fun father and son things planned:
    • Fishing
    • Archery
    • Shooting the BB gun
    •  Walks
    • Yard work
    • Cleaning out the basement
    • Preparing garden beds
    • Washing the dogs
    • Laundry
  • Boo has begun learning how to safely use a pocketknife at Scouts.  He asked for a knife for his birthday.
    • Part of me wants to get him a really nice Case knife or something in that vein so that he will always have something useful to remember his dear old dad.
    • The rest of me is a realist that knows that a young boy is likely to trade, lose, or destroy anything I get him, so he’s probably going to get a chunk of scrap iron that I’ve sharpened against a rock until he grows a bit more responsibility.
    • I have been officially banned from giving him one of my more…. sizable knives.  Something about blade length and not scaring the other children.
  • Last weekend we re-did three of Irish Woman’s strawberry beds.  This entailed removing the weeds and crabgrass, saving the strawberry plants, and adding rocks and soil to replace that which has eroded away in the rains.
    • My main activities added up to purchasing, transporting, and depositing about 800 pounds of topsoil, about 100 pounds of peat moss, and about 500 pounds of large rocks to better shore up the bottom of the beds.
    • Oh, my aching back and pocketbook.
    • I am advised that these will be the best strawberries I’ve ever had, which is good, because at this point it would have been cheaper and easier to fly Irish Woman to Watsonville so that she could pick as many strawberries as she wants.


  • A lot of folks are shocked, yes, shocked, I say! that the Central Intelligence Agency has probably found ways to exploit weaknesses in devices connected to the Internet.
    •   Personally, I’d be pissed if I found out that they hadn’t developed these capabilities.  I know it’s a surprise to a large section of the populace, but gentlemen do indeed reach each other’s letters.
    • If only the intelligence and law enforcement agencies had earned enough trust from the American nation that we could know with some certainty that such tools would never be misused or turned against us.
  • I believe that I’ve parsed the illegal immigration problem into two camps:
    • Those, like me, who see immigration into the United States as a privilege we extend to those we feel deserve it, regardless of the prospective immigrant’s origins.
    • Those who believe that immigration into our country from other parts of the world is a human right, which we as a nation have no right to moderate, regulate, or object to. Interestingly enough, I can find no historical example of a nation that survived long after opening its borders for every Tom, Dick, and Harry who wanted to come on over and set up their yurts.
    • I still believe that a wall on the border is nothing more than a dam that can be overcome by the draw of jobs in El Norte.  Cut off the supply of jobs, either through litigation, legislation, or defenestration, and the flow of illegal immigrants will be reduced significantly.
  • The brawl over repealing/replacing/reforming Obamacare is gaining steam, both in the halls of Congress and in the media.
    • Somewhere along the way the nation went from looking at comprehensive health insurance as a fringe benefit brought by hard work at a good job to seeing it as a human right that has to be paid for by the productive minority.
    • Here’s my suggestion –
      • The ACA is repealed in total. Buy insurance, don’t buy insurance, not my problem.
      • Medicare is not touched in any way. Lord knows old folks have earned it after putting up with the Baby Boomers, Gen X, and the Millenials for the last 3/4 of a century.
      • Medicaid is clawed back to cover only poor families and those who are incapable of supporting themselves.
      • The bar for being declared incapable of supporting yourself gets raised quite a bit.
      • The American taxpayer provides precisely zero toward the healthcare of anyone who is capable of working and paying their own way, but doesn’t.  I’m a big fan of “Those who refuse to work, do not eat”.
      • To make up for this, donations to charity hospitals, clinics, and other health programs would be 100% deductible from personal and corporate income taxes, with no limit to the amount that could be donated. Let those who want to screech that the rest of us aren’t doing enough put their money where their mouth is.
  • There are some who say we can’t kill our way out of the Islamic terrorism problem.
    • I say we can’t know that unless we really try.
    • We spend too much time trying to be loved.  I’m about ready for everyone to realize that it’s more feasible to be left alone because of the terror our displeasure strikes in the hearts of men.


  • The good news today is that I was able to rise from my bed and go to work without wishing I could just lie down at the side of the freeway and die.
    • The bad news today is that I wanted to lie down at the side of the freeway and die during the drive home.
  • If I ever want to go into writing horror stories, all I’ll need for inspiration is to catch a bad head cold, take a large dose of green death NyQuil, and sleep for about 13 hours.  The fever dreams must have been close to what Stephen King saw when he was still writing horror.
  • I finished the rough draft of “Lady of Eyre”, the last part of the current Minivandians book, and sent it off to alpha readers.
    • Of course, being doped off my gourd on cold medicine made the writing easier.  Whether it’s at all readable remains to be seen.
  • When using tissues with lotion embedded in them, it is not suggested that you use them to wipe your eyeglasses off.


Warning:  I wrote this before I had coffee and after a night of stress dreams.

  • Your business is none of my business until you start making me pay for your business.  At that point, it is most certainly my business.
    • Corollary – If you stop making your business my business, I will be happy to go back to minding my own business.
  • Standardized testing at the end of the school year seems unfair to the teacher if it’s to be used to decide if they’re doing their job.
    • I mean, what if the students were woefully ignorant of the subject on day 1?
    • How about this:  Do standardized tests at the beginning of the year, then give the same test at the end.  Evaluate the teacher’s performance based on the difference between the two tests.
    • I know, there I go again, thinking it’s a good idea to see if the billions we dump into the public education system are actually going toward educating students.
  • Another way to say “America First” is “What’s in it for us?”, and I’m perfectly OK with that.  If we can’t articulate what the United States is getting out of any relationship or commitment, be it tangible or intangible, then why are we doing it?
  • One thing that I think is missing from the way we educate people is that we don’t tell folks that while they are still being educated and trained, their opinion on all but an exceedingly small number of subjects is most likely worthless.
    • For a lot of folks, this condition does not change after their period of education and training is over.
    • At the moment, I may or may not be part of that group.  I’m gonna go make coffee.


  • Things that will wake me up better than a hot cup of coffee #1287 – Irish Woman standing in front of the freezer in the basement and crying out “NO! OH NO!”
    • It would appear that when I was putting away the meat we purchased on Sunday, I neglected to make sure the door was shut completely before finding my way upstairs.
    • Irish Woman has been shopping the sales and bulk pricing to fill up the freezer over the last few months.
    • We lost about 1/2 of our meat stores, and the freezer was quite full.
    • Most of what we didn’t lose was still cold to the touch and partially frozen, so it went into the stew pot, oven, and crock pots to get cooked so it could be repacked and refrozen.
    • My loving and oh-so forgiving wife did that today while I was at work.
    • She’s let me live so far, but the evening is still young.
  • Someone needs to tell the press that there is absolutely no way that the Trump campaign had constant contact with the Kremlin.
    • Everybody knows that the GRU has its headquarters over on Khoroshovskoe Shosse, and FSB headquarters are down at the Lubyanka.
  • It’s Pinewood Derby Time again.  This year, rather than mess around with dremels, chisels, knives, and sanders, I took the plunge and bought a coping saw.  What took me almost three hours last year took about an hour this year.
    • It’s quite interesting how many folks will volunteer information on how to cheat on these cars when you say you’re building one.


  • I’m sad to say that, even after months of lobbying on my behalf, I will not be chosen as President Trump’s pick to take the open seat on the Supreme Court.
    • That’s probably a good thing.
    • That whole “Fell asleep trying to read the statutes on distilling of spirits while doing research for Irish Woman” thing is probably what torpedoed my eligibility.
  • Recently, our cable company gave Irish Woman a great deal on internet, TV, and phone which brought our bill down lower than just having Internet.  So, we’ve gone back to cable TV.
    • I’m thrilled to say that now we have access to all of the infomercials, political rants on sports channels, and television shows about home decorating, making illegal moonshine, and sifting through the over-stuffed homes of dead people that we could ever want.
    • No, really, I’m thrilled.  Can’t you tell?
  • Girlie Bear asked me to purchase this tee shirt for her today.
    • Being the indulgent father I am, I purchased it.
    • I also wished her luck doing all of the pushups she would be told to do for wearing it.
    • When she asked why she would be doing pushups, I replied that her ROTC instructors were actually good at war, while she was merely an energetic puppy showing her teeth.


  • There’s just something nice about a bartender who is willing to take the time to explain to you why she is stuffing maraschino cherries into miniature mason jars and lighting hardwood splinters to smoke them.
    • Apparently they go in a cocktail of some kind.
  • I was very disappointed tonight.  Our local liquor store stopped stocking a rather yummy ginger beer that I really liked.  In its place, they have all the banana-cherry-bubble-gum-kiwi-sweet-and-sour malt liquor beverages I could ever want.
  • A week into the Trump presidency, and the biggest argument so far has been about the size of the crowd at the inauguration.  Speaking for myself, the number of people who showed up to the ceremony is a useless bit of trivia.  You know, like the popular vote tally for a presidential election.
    • OK, I wrote that before the whole immigration restriction shit storm started.  Now, that’s an argument of unexpected proportions if I ever saw one.
  • A thought occurs on the H1-B visa program, which allows businesses to bring in foreign skilled labor if they can show that they cannot find American workers to do the work:  Why not make the government fee for such visas equal to the amount the company is going to pay the foreign worker in salary and benefits?  This would ensure that foreign workers aren’t a cheaper alternative to Americans. The money could be put toward training programs and scholarships to train Americans, thereby lessening the need to  hire someone from overseas.
  • I’m something of an introvert, who is married to an extravert.  She works from home, so has limited physical contact with people all day.  I work in an office, so I have pretty regular contact with people all day.  Usually this works out because I can reserve some of myself just for her and she has enough social interaction throughout the day so that she’s not absolutely lonely.  The bad days are when she’s locked away for nine hours while I never get a moment to myself all day.  I come through the door groaning “PEOPLE!” and she’s jumping up and down, happy to see me, chanting “PEOPLE PEOPLE PEOPLE!”
  • Moonshine learned the hard way this morning that one does not try to sneak breakfast potatoes when they are still cooking in a cast iron skillet.
    • He’s OK, but it was the yip heard ’round the house.
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