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Musings

  • Trust is defined as giving your wife your debit card when she goes out a couple of days after Thanksgiving.
  • I’m not having leftover dressing for breakfast.  I’m having savory french toast casserole for breakfast.
    • In the same vain, it’s not a big bowl of pumpkin custard washed down with fresh coffee, it’s high-fiber and beta-carotine squash superfood accompanied by a hand-crafted artisanal energy drink.
  • Now that the political season is over and the Christmas season is beginning, it’s time to think of what to give your loved ones.
    • Considering how the political season went, I suggest canned food and shotguns.
    • I told Irish Woman that I fit very well in to a 62 grain 5.56.

Musings

  • Someone once told me that “If you don’t shoot weekly, you’ll shoot weakly.”
    • This weekend, I proved that if you only shoot quarterly, then your shooting won’t be worth two bits.
  • You know it’s been a long time when you open the gun safe and ask yourself, “When did I buy an SKS?”
  • The best part about holding the Raingutter Regatta in the school cafeteria is the fact that the floor always gets a good, thorough mopping after tear down.
  • Kids were fascinated with the concept of syphoning the water out of the gutters after the races.  I refrained from mentioning that I learned it from my father during the gas shortage in the 1970’s.
  • I want credit for refraining from sending an electronic guffaw to someone in an on-line group this evening.  You see, said someone was boasting about what a ‘warrior’ they were when they were in the Army, lo these many years ago.
    • Said someone failed to mention the time I had to coach him through zeroing his weapon and he broke down into shaking sobs after the first three shots.
  • A pulled muscle in your lower back is nature’s way of telling you that you need to slow down and read books for a couple of days.
  • I’m re-reading the Monster Hunter International series, and it occurred to me that someone should make an MHI sticker that reads “Skippy Is My Co-Pilot”, complete with the green smiley face.
  • Boo is listening to the audiobook of “Starship Troopers”, and seems to be enjoying it.
    • He giggled like a fiend at the “30 Second Bomb”
    • He also thinks that Sergeant Zim is a complete badass

Musings

  • My day started with me cooking up 8 pounds of bacon, then baking both banana and cranberry bread, and is ending with me sitting in front of a nice, hot fire.
    • All of the bacon was eaten by a horde of Cub Scouts. The accompanying pancakes were also devoured.
  • If you’re going to give Cub Scouts crap for asking that you consider leaving a food donation out next weekend, please take a few moments to examine your soul and upbringing.
    • Seriously, there’s nothing wrong with just saying “No, thank you.”
  • The maple trees have finished dropping their leaves.  Now comes the time of The Rakening.

Musings

  • Tomorrow morning I go in to have blood drawn for an upcoming physical.  Dinner tonight included a very rare ribeye.
    • If I’m going to get chided about my cholesterol, I’m going to enjoy earning it.
  • Irish Woman and Boo decided to play some cards tonight.
    • It wasn’t that she’s teaching him how to play blackjack that concerned me.  It was that she was teaching him how to count cards.
  • Girlie Bear took the Greyhound back to Louisville this weekend.
    • There was the beginnings of a brawl starting when she got out of the station, so apparently little has changed in the couple of decades since I last took a bus.
    • There’s nothing like the time spent parked at a bus station in downtown Louisville on a Saturday morning to make you think, “You know, maybe I didn’t bring enough guns.”
  • Division of labor at our house:
    • Irish Woman is in charge of summer lawn care, specifically mowing and trimming.  I probably mow the grass two or three times a year.
    • I, on the other hand, am primarily responsible for leaf removal.  Irish Woman does, however, run the mower across the leaves a couple of times every year.
    • This works out that she does quite a bit of mowing over several months, while I do a lot of work over a few weeks.
    • I will point out, however, that it’s rather rare for the lawn to need mowing three times in one day. This weekend, I had to go over the leaves several times in order to not get buried.
    • I would also like to point out that when snow needs shoveling, that’s my job.
  • This morning, I had to run to the big box home center for a couple of things.  There was a young couple in the paint area.  It was quite obvious that the young lady of the pair was picking out paint for a new home. She was looking at about 17,235 shades of pastel something or other, and would squeal every time she found a new hue to consider.  The stack of paint cards clutched in her hand grew by the minute.
    • The young man looked like he would rather be drug behind a honey wagon for about ten miles of gravel road.  He visibly winced at several of the possibilities the young woman was considering.
    • I wanted to up to him, give him a manly hug, and tell him to be strong, because it was never going to end.  Ever.  Even after death, she’ll pick out the color of pillow he’d rest his head upon for eternity.

Musings

  • How my flight went on Monday:
    • Arrive at airport over an hour before boarding.
    • Check my bag, because the TSA isn’t going to get another chance to toss out half of my razor again.
    • Turned the corner from the ticketing desk, took half a step, and ran smack dab into the back of the line to go through the TSA checkpoint.  Seriously, I’ve flown the same weekend as the Kentucky Derby and it wasn’t as bad.
    • Wave as my boss walks past me and into the TSA pre-check line.  Reconsider whether the $85 every 5 years is worth the shorter line and easier screening.
      • I decided that it was.  My interview is in November.
    • Fly to Atlanta so that I can then fly to New York.  Yeah, I don’t understand it either, but it’s Delta.
    • Fly from Atlanta to SmallAirportInNewYork.
    • As we approach SmallAirportInNewYork, the captain announces that the airport is socked in and we can’t land.
    • I go back to watching my movie as we circle the airport for a couple of hours.
    • The captain comes back on and announces that we’re running a tad low on fuel.  Since we can’t get out and push, he decides it’s a good idea to divert to Hartford, Connecticut, to fill ‘er up.
    • We land in Hartford and proceed to wait about half an hour, with no sign of a fuel truck in sight.
    • The flight attendant, backed up by the captain, announces that we will, indeed, be fueling up and returning to circle SmallAirportInNewYork, but we will only try to land once or twice before returning to Atlanta.
    • I quell the outrage and tunnel vision, but am happy to report that my fellow passengers did not have that much self control.
    • Due to the pending riot on the plane, the flight attendant and captain decide that everybody who wants to get off is welcome to do so.  The airline, of course, will not be providing ground transportation to SmallAirportInNewYork, so we’re on our own.
    • Bossman and I retrieve our luggage while he tries to get us a rental car.
    • Upon inspection of my suitcase, I notice that the outside pocket where I put my shaving kit is about 1/4 of the way unzipped.  Further inspection shows that the pocket is devoid of said shaving kit.  Tunnel vision returns for a few minutes.
    • We acquire our rental car, have a quick bite to eat in lovely Hartford, and make our way down the freeway.  While we’re driving, I get out the Amazon app and order a new razor.  It’ll be delivered to my house on Wednesday.
    • Two hours later, after driving through every roadwork zone in Connecticut, we wave to SmallAirportInNewYork as we pass it.
    • Bossman graciously stops at a Target so that I can buy replacement toothbrush/toothpaste, shampoo, deodorant, and a pack of disposable razors.
    • We make it to our hotel, four hours later than planned,  with no further issues.
    • Upon unpacking my suitcase, however, I find one of those nifty-neato TSA cards that notifies me that an agent of the government found it necessary to rifle through my unmentionables.
    • Lo and behold, I find the contents of my shaving kit at the bottom of my suitcase.  Luckily for me and the people I had to interact with on Monday evening, my toothpaste and shampoo did not leak out onto my work clothes.
    • 7 PM – I get a notification from Delta airlines that my flight from Atlanta to SmallAirportInNewYork, which I got off of hours ago, has been cancelled.  I feel a warm glow knowing that the airline is looking out for me.
  • Wednesday was spent in New York City, ending a 20+ year drought of me setting  foot in New York City.
  • As we walked along the fetid streets of Manhattan, I considered another large city I’ve visited:  Moscow.
    • Moscow is cleaner, but New York has slightly better road conditions.
    • I saw fewer drunk people sitting on the sidewalk in New York.  Of course, the drunks in Moscow were frozen to the sidewalk, which adds a level of sophistication.
    • Both are impossible to drive in, and the odor of a big city is the same all over the world.
  • On the flight home today, I watched the new “Murder on the Orient Express“.  I’ve walked around all afternoon thinking about growing my mustache out.

Things I Learned from Old Radio Shows

  • Women have only two roles
    • Damsel in distress
    • Femme Fatale
  • Every hero needs an ethnic servant who will either secretly hate their employer and plot their death, or will be a steady, loyal ally who constantly keeps the protagonist alive.
  • If you’re going to track down your sworn enemy and have them corned, nailed down, or locked up, do not just leave them to die.  Finish the job and enjoy the rest of your life.
    • Not to put too fine a point to it, but very few folks can come back to darken your doorstep after two slugs behind the ear.  Just saying.
  • Anyone with a vaguely German, Russian, or Japanese accent should automatically be treated with suspicion.
  • The best shows are sponsored by cigarette and booze companies.  Not sure why that is.

Musings

  • Due to an upcoming business trip, I had to go clothes shopping today.
    • I wisely chose to take along my lovely wife.  You see, like many men I know, I can only see the colors that came in the Crayola 8 pack I got in kindergarten.  I’ll allow that there are “regular”, “light”, and “dark” shades of each, for a total of 24 total colors.
    • Apparently, through some magic that must be intertwined somewhere in the double-X chromosome, Irish Woman can see a myriad of colors, and can sense which of them should be worn together.
    • Hence, dear reader, her presence as I picked out a new sport coat and dress shirt for my trip.
  • Since it’s been umpteen years since I last bought a dress coat, I asked the nice young lady at the second store we went to to measure me.  Apparently, I’m a “Lower Primate – Long”.
    • Now that I think of it, it might have been faster and cheaper to go to the zoo in order to skin out a silverback for my jacket.
  • Boo has graduated up to Webelos Scout, and since his blue Cub Scout shirt fits like a sausage skin that no longer reaches to his belt line, we purchased him a new khaki Boy Scout shirt, with all the necessary patches.
    • That, along with a new Webelos manual and a spare neckerchief, came to only slightly less than my dress jacket.
  • We finally broke down and called a plumbing company to come out and correct the issue we’ve been having with our sewer lines.
    • It would have taken me a couple of weekends and many trips to the store to fix it.
    • They, on the other hand will arrive tomorrow with crew, talent, equipment, and supplies, and will probably be done in a couple of hours.

Musings

  • It’s on days like this that I think of the mighty Hercules, who said, “You want me to clean out what?”
  • We’ve reached that transition point where summer becomes fall.  It’s where the first leaves start to change color, the days are shorter, and you have to use both the defroster and the air conditioner in the truck on the same day.
  • Today, I scheduled a consult for laser eye surgery.  Yes, I’ve finally reached that age where a new pair of glasses each year adds up to enough money that I’m willing to let somebody carve on my cornea with a ruby-chromium laser.
    • “Do you expect me to talk?”
    • “No, Mister Bond, I expect you to see.”
  • I once watched an after-action review of a Red Flag exercise where a Harrier pilot got up and asked if there was anyone in the room who had not had a chance to shoot him down.  Nobody raised their hand.
    • That’s kind of what I felt after trying to play an on-line first person shooter this week.
    • If asked, I will say I erased the game from my tablet because I have better things to do with my time.  It has nothing to do with the fact that it seemed like a waste of electrons to get shot in the face by 12 year olds again and again and again.

Musings

  • I want to put something inspiring up on the wall of my cubicle.  At the moment, I can’t decide if the NCO Creed or the Code of Conduct is more appropriate for work.
  • Boo is getting settled back into school.  I think his biggest challenge is finally encountering a female teacher who isn’t enchanted by him on sight.
  • Girlie Bear is getting settled into school.  She texted me the other day demanding to know how I was able to work full time, go to school full time, and spend time with and raise my children.
    • She’s working part time and going to school full time and apparently it’s a bit of a grind.
    • All I could do was chuckle and mutter “Bless her heart”.

Musings

  • House rule – Only 2/3 of us are allowed to be sick at any given time.
  • I need to have a word with my youngest son.  He had a bit of a stomach bug yesterday, and about 7 PM last night, started complaining of a headache and backache.
    • While his mother made a panicked search for the symptoms of meningitis before calling the pediatric emergency room, I interrogated examined the young man.
    • Turns out, he was dehydrated and the Tylenol had worn off, explaining the headache.  Fixed that with a glass of water and a Tylenol.
    • The backache was because he had fallen asleep on a book and the lego’s he has in his bed with him.   Fixed that with stern words about what does and does not belong in the bed
  • I was complimented on my ability to just put my head down and push through when presented with issues at work.  Only one of three times in almost half a century that being stubborn has been a good thing for me.
  • More folks need to learn the difference between “right” and “privilege”.
    • Being able to speak your mind is a right you have at birth.
    • Me listening to you is a privilege I extend to a very select number.
    • Me actually engaging with you is a miracle.
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