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Musings

  • How my flight went on Monday:
    • Arrive at airport over an hour before boarding.
    • Check my bag, because the TSA isn’t going to get another chance to toss out half of my razor again.
    • Turned the corner from the ticketing desk, took half a step, and ran smack dab into the back of the line to go through the TSA checkpoint.  Seriously, I’ve flown the same weekend as the Kentucky Derby and it wasn’t as bad.
    • Wave as my boss walks past me and into the TSA pre-check line.  Reconsider whether the $85 every 5 years is worth the shorter line and easier screening.
      • I decided that it was.  My interview is in November.
    • Fly to Atlanta so that I can then fly to New York.  Yeah, I don’t understand it either, but it’s Delta.
    • Fly from Atlanta to SmallAirportInNewYork.
    • As we approach SmallAirportInNewYork, the captain announces that the airport is socked in and we can’t land.
    • I go back to watching my movie as we circle the airport for a couple of hours.
    • The captain comes back on and announces that we’re running a tad low on fuel.  Since we can’t get out and push, he decides it’s a good idea to divert to Hartford, Connecticut, to fill ‘er up.
    • We land in Hartford and proceed to wait about half an hour, with no sign of a fuel truck in sight.
    • The flight attendant, backed up by the captain, announces that we will, indeed, be fueling up and returning to circle SmallAirportInNewYork, but we will only try to land once or twice before returning to Atlanta.
    • I quell the outrage and tunnel vision, but am happy to report that my fellow passengers did not have that much self control.
    • Due to the pending riot on the plane, the flight attendant and captain decide that everybody who wants to get off is welcome to do so.  The airline, of course, will not be providing ground transportation to SmallAirportInNewYork, so we’re on our own.
    • Bossman and I retrieve our luggage while he tries to get us a rental car.
    • Upon inspection of my suitcase, I notice that the outside pocket where I put my shaving kit is about 1/4 of the way unzipped.  Further inspection shows that the pocket is devoid of said shaving kit.  Tunnel vision returns for a few minutes.
    • We acquire our rental car, have a quick bite to eat in lovely Hartford, and make our way down the freeway.  While we’re driving, I get out the Amazon app and order a new razor.  It’ll be delivered to my house on Wednesday.
    • Two hours later, after driving through every roadwork zone in Connecticut, we wave to SmallAirportInNewYork as we pass it.
    • Bossman graciously stops at a Target so that I can buy replacement toothbrush/toothpaste, shampoo, deodorant, and a pack of disposable razors.
    • We make it to our hotel, four hours later than planned,  with no further issues.
    • Upon unpacking my suitcase, however, I find one of those nifty-neato TSA cards that notifies me that an agent of the government found it necessary to rifle through my unmentionables.
    • Lo and behold, I find the contents of my shaving kit at the bottom of my suitcase.  Luckily for me and the people I had to interact with on Monday evening, my toothpaste and shampoo did not leak out onto my work clothes.
    • 7 PM – I get a notification from Delta airlines that my flight from Atlanta to SmallAirportInNewYork, which I got off of hours ago, has been cancelled.  I feel a warm glow knowing that the airline is looking out for me.
  • Wednesday was spent in New York City, ending a 20+ year drought of me setting  foot in New York City.
  • As we walked along the fetid streets of Manhattan, I considered another large city I’ve visited:  Moscow.
    • Moscow is cleaner, but New York has slightly better road conditions.
    • I saw fewer drunk people sitting on the sidewalk in New York.  Of course, the drunks in Moscow were frozen to the sidewalk, which adds a level of sophistication.
    • Both are impossible to drive in, and the odor of a big city is the same all over the world.
  • On the flight home today, I watched the new “Murder on the Orient Express“.  I’ve walked around all afternoon thinking about growing my mustache out.

Things I Learned from Old Radio Shows

  • Women have only two roles
    • Damsel in distress
    • Femme Fatale
  • Every hero needs an ethnic servant who will either secretly hate their employer and plot their death, or will be a steady, loyal ally who constantly keeps the protagonist alive.
  • If you’re going to track down your sworn enemy and have them corned, nailed down, or locked up, do not just leave them to die.  Finish the job and enjoy the rest of your life.
    • Not to put too fine a point to it, but very few folks can come back to darken your doorstep after two slugs behind the ear.  Just saying.
  • Anyone with a vaguely German, Russian, or Japanese accent should automatically be treated with suspicion.
  • The best shows are sponsored by cigarette and booze companies.  Not sure why that is.

Musings

  • Due to an upcoming business trip, I had to go clothes shopping today.
    • I wisely chose to take along my lovely wife.  You see, like many men I know, I can only see the colors that came in the Crayola 8 pack I got in kindergarten.  I’ll allow that there are “regular”, “light”, and “dark” shades of each, for a total of 24 total colors.
    • Apparently, through some magic that must be intertwined somewhere in the double-X chromosome, Irish Woman can see a myriad of colors, and can sense which of them should be worn together.
    • Hence, dear reader, her presence as I picked out a new sport coat and dress shirt for my trip.
  • Since it’s been umpteen years since I last bought a dress coat, I asked the nice young lady at the second store we went to to measure me.  Apparently, I’m a “Lower Primate – Long”.
    • Now that I think of it, it might have been faster and cheaper to go to the zoo in order to skin out a silverback for my jacket.
  • Boo has graduated up to Webelos Scout, and since his blue Cub Scout shirt fits like a sausage skin that no longer reaches to his belt line, we purchased him a new khaki Boy Scout shirt, with all the necessary patches.
    • That, along with a new Webelos manual and a spare neckerchief, came to only slightly less than my dress jacket.
  • We finally broke down and called a plumbing company to come out and correct the issue we’ve been having with our sewer lines.
    • It would have taken me a couple of weekends and many trips to the store to fix it.
    • They, on the other hand will arrive tomorrow with crew, talent, equipment, and supplies, and will probably be done in a couple of hours.

Musings

  • It’s on days like this that I think of the mighty Hercules, who said, “You want me to clean out what?”
  • We’ve reached that transition point where summer becomes fall.  It’s where the first leaves start to change color, the days are shorter, and you have to use both the defroster and the air conditioner in the truck on the same day.
  • Today, I scheduled a consult for laser eye surgery.  Yes, I’ve finally reached that age where a new pair of glasses each year adds up to enough money that I’m willing to let somebody carve on my cornea with a ruby-chromium laser.
    • “Do you expect me to talk?”
    • “No, Mister Bond, I expect you to see.”
  • I once watched an after-action review of a Red Flag exercise where a Harrier pilot got up and asked if there was anyone in the room who had not had a chance to shoot him down.  Nobody raised their hand.
    • That’s kind of what I felt after trying to play an on-line first person shooter this week.
    • If asked, I will say I erased the game from my tablet because I have better things to do with my time.  It has nothing to do with the fact that it seemed like a waste of electrons to get shot in the face by 12 year olds again and again and again.

Musings

  • I want to put something inspiring up on the wall of my cubicle.  At the moment, I can’t decide if the NCO Creed or the Code of Conduct is more appropriate for work.
  • Boo is getting settled back into school.  I think his biggest challenge is finally encountering a female teacher who isn’t enchanted by him on sight.
  • Girlie Bear is getting settled into school.  She texted me the other day demanding to know how I was able to work full time, go to school full time, and spend time with and raise my children.
    • She’s working part time and going to school full time and apparently it’s a bit of a grind.
    • All I could do was chuckle and mutter “Bless her heart”.

Musings

  • House rule – Only 2/3 of us are allowed to be sick at any given time.
  • I need to have a word with my youngest son.  He had a bit of a stomach bug yesterday, and about 7 PM last night, started complaining of a headache and backache.
    • While his mother made a panicked search for the symptoms of meningitis before calling the pediatric emergency room, I interrogated examined the young man.
    • Turns out, he was dehydrated and the Tylenol had worn off, explaining the headache.  Fixed that with a glass of water and a Tylenol.
    • The backache was because he had fallen asleep on a book and the lego’s he has in his bed with him.   Fixed that with stern words about what does and does not belong in the bed
  • I was complimented on my ability to just put my head down and push through when presented with issues at work.  Only one of three times in almost half a century that being stubborn has been a good thing for me.
  • More folks need to learn the difference between “right” and “privilege”.
    • Being able to speak your mind is a right you have at birth.
    • Me listening to you is a privilege I extend to a very select number.
    • Me actually engaging with you is a miracle.

Musings

  • I’ve been asked to watch my mouth around Boo, so when I need to swear, I do it in other languages.
    • Tonight at dinner, Boo sounded off with “Bozhe moi!” and I got in trouble.
    • It means “My God!”, but I still got in trouble.
    • There may come a day when I am allowed to win, but this is not that day.
  • I’ve been listening to an audiobook of Heinlein’s “The Rolling Stones” lately.
    • It gives me a sense of Serenity during my commute.
    • Even the traffic jams are no tribble at all.
  • Apparently, a door-to-door driveway surfacing dude didn’t like it when our “big damn dog” barked at him as he came on the porch yesterday.  Irish Woman replied that she had both a big damn dog and a big damn gun.  The conversation ended quickly thereafter.
    • That, friends and neighbors, is the woman I fell in love with.
  • Boo finally convinced me to play Stratego with him this weekend.  It’s been over 30 years since I last touched that game, and we had a lot of fun.
    • It reminded me of long, cold winter days spent playing board games, arguments over who caught whom cheating, and then trying to not get choked out by my brothers while I tried to choke them out.
    • Good times, good times.

Musings

  • The last time I had to work this hard to extract information in a professional setting, I still listed “Speaks Russian” as a critical work skill.
  • I learned two things at work today:
    • First, I learned how to configure a new user in the application I’m trying to learn.
    • Second, I learned to always go to the men’s room prior to a budget meeting.
  • We went to a pre-opening evening at a new drive-in theater last night.   It was fun to sit under the stars, listen to the peepers in the trees compete with the movie, and try to stay awake after 10 PM.
  • Last weekend, I used the machete and the big honking string trimmer (The string measures as a caliber) to clear some of the overgrowth at the back of the property.  Irish Woman cautioned me to look out for snakes.  I was secretly hoping I’d find one so that I could have an excuse to not do the work.

Musings

  • Dinner tonight was deep fried meat on a stick with a couple pieces of Boo’s funnel cake for dessert.  Our entertainment was dirt track racing and some dude on a guitar singing Johnny Cash and David Allan Coe.
    • If that ain’t country, I’ll kiss your ass.
  • The difference between the state fair in Louisville and a county fair about 20 miles from home is that when I left the county fair, I still had faith in humanity and still loved my family.
  • I took Boo on his first ferris wheel ride tonight.  Little buddy was a bit nervous at first, but by the time we got off, he’d stopped threatening to throw up.  I’ll call that a win.
  • After all these years, I’m glad to know that my “I will kill you with my mind” stare works.
  • Few college kids can say that their father made them scrambled eggs with cheese and pieces of steak before going to work, but mine can.
  • Irish Woman has been trying very hard to cut down on the carbs and junk in our diet, and for the most part, it’s going well.  The other day, though, after a rather stressful day at work, I had to drive through a burger joint and get a couple of rich, salty, greasy cheeseburgers.  It was either that or play bumper cars on the freeway.

Musings

  • If his most famous act were to occur nowadays, John Wilkes Booth could probably plead not guilty due to Lincoln Anxiety Disorder.
  • If folks are worried about 3D printing of firearms, then they’ll love the documentation and instructions the government is just giving out for free.
  • All of the folks screeching in the news lately really just need an old woman, her hair up in curlers and a lit cigarette dangling from one corner of her mouth, to point a gnarled old finger at them and growl, “Don’t start shit, won’t be shit.”
  • Speaking of smoking, it appears that folks who live in federally funded housing projects are being told to not smoke in their homes and to walk a few feet away from buildings before lighting their coffin nails.  So, basically, they’re being given the same rules that folks living in military barracks have had to live under since about 1992.  My heart bleeds.  No, really.
  • Maybe I’m a heartless goon…  No, scratch that.  I am a heartless goon.
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