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  • It’s not often that I get to use the term “ball of cat hair and bubble gum” to describe a situation at work, but today was that day.
  • Note to self – When one makes the promise that one will be able to spend a weekend away with the family, with no internet or cell phone coverage, one should make sure that one is not scheduled for on-call that weekend.
    • Subnote – If one finds oneself in this particular pickle, one should start looking for someone to carry on-call for oneself more than two days before beginning of said time away with the family.
  • Since I wasn’t going to the family camp out this weekend, I offered Irish Woman use of my truck to haul all of her and Boo’s stuff. You see, it is rather difficult to fit air mattresses, sleeping bags, inflatable 12 foot kayak, cooler, groceries, clothing, and sundry other things into a small sedan.
    • Already agitated by me not going, she ‘nicely’ declined the offer.
    • I then got in touch with my favorite rent-a-wreck chain and reserved her a small SUV to use instead. When one has messed up as bad as I have, one does not quibble at the cost of easing your wife’s path.
    • We acquired said small SUV, and started loading it, only to discover that the inside was rather fuzzy with dog hair and reeked of cigarette smoke.
    • My darling wife, being a lifelong non-smoker and not a fan of stale cigarette smoke, asked me ‘nicely’ to call the rental company and acquire another vehicle. I did so first thing this morning.
    • Said company was only too happy to swap out the SUV of Many Odors. Irish Woman took herself down to their local office to make the exchange.
    • Imagine my surprise when she pulled into my driveway with a slightly newer, but same make and model, of pickup as I had offered her for free.
    • When she called later to tell me that she really liked the truck and that I was welcome to buy myself one like it, I ‘nicely’ told her that I <already> owned a similar truck. We have a wordless agreement to not speak of this.

Thought for the Day

On this day of days, I thought we’d just have a quiet moment to reflect on the bravery and sacrifice of the thousands of men who fought not to conquer, but to liberate.

Franklin Roosevelt’s D-Day Prayer 

June 6, 1944

My fellow Americans: Last night, when I spoke with you about the fall of Rome, I knew at that moment that troops of the United States and our allies were crossing the Channel in another and greater operation. It has come to pass with success thus far.

And so, in this poignant hour, I ask you to join with me in prayer:

Almighty God: Our sons, pride of our Nation, this day have set upon a mighty endeavor, a struggle to preserve our Republic, our religion, and our civilization, and to set free a suffering humanity.

Lead them straight and true; give strength to their arms, stoutness to their hearts, steadfastness in their faith.

They will need Thy blessings. Their road will be long and hard. For the enemy is strong. He may hurl back our forces. Success may not come with rushing speed, but we shall return again and again; and we know that by Thy grace, and by the righteousness of our cause, our sons will triumph.

They will be sore tried, by night and by day, without rest-until the victory is won. The darkness will be rent by noise and flame. Men’s souls will be shaken with the violences of war.

For these men are lately drawn from the ways of peace. They fight not for the lust of conquest. They fight to end conquest. They fight to liberate. They fight to let justice arise, and tolerance and good will among all Thy people. They yearn but for the end of battle, for their return to the haven of home.

Some will never return. Embrace these, Father, and receive them, Thy heroic servants, into Thy kingdom.

And for us at home — fathers, mothers, children, wives, sisters, and brothers of brave men overseas — whose thoughts and prayers are ever with them–help us, Almighty God, to rededicate ourselves in renewed faith in Thee in this hour of great sacrifice.

Many people have urged that I call the Nation into a single day of special prayer. But because the road is long and the desire is great, I ask that our people devote themselves in a continuance of prayer. As we rise to each new day, and again when each day is spent, let words of prayer be on our lips, invoking Thy help to our efforts.

Give us strength, too — strength in our daily tasks, to redouble the contributions we make in the physical and the material support of our armed forces.

And let our hearts be stout, to wait out the long travail, to bear sorrows that may come, to impart our courage unto our sons wheresoever they may be.

And, O Lord, give us Faith. Give us Faith in Thee; Faith in our sons; Faith in each other; Faith in our united crusade. Let not the keenness of our spirit ever be dulled. Let not the impacts of temporary events, of temporal matters of but fleeting moment let not these deter us in our unconquerable purpose.

With Thy blessing, we shall prevail over the unholy forces of our enemy. Help us to conquer the apostles of greed and racial arrogancies. Lead us to the saving of our country, and with our sister Nations into a world unity that will spell a sure peace a peace invulnerable to the schemings of unworthy men. And a peace that will let all of men live in freedom, reaping the just rewards of their honest toil.

Thy will be done, Almighty God.



  • When you’re going to be giving someone an EKG, it’s just common courtesy to warm your hands up first.
  • My new friend, Vlad the Phlebotomist, took more blood out of me yesterday than the nice lady at the Red Cross did when I was 19 and trying to score some free cookies and juice.
  • Is it bad when the normal range for the results of a blood test is between two single digit numbers and my result is a rather high double digit number?
  • Boo has reached that age where a young bear shows his teeth to his father, on occasion. Unfortunately for him, I have bigger teeth and sharper claws.
  • Girlie Bear has reached that age where she has to work, pay bills, and put up with people’s crap on a continual basis, also known as ‘I’ve got my first apartment and roommates.’ I will try hard to not remind her that she only has 60 or 80 years of that ahead of her.
  • I’ve decided that if I reincarnate, I’m going to be a drunken reprobate in my next life. This work ethic and sense of duty stuff is killing me.

Thought for the Day

The Prayer of the Paratrooper

(Translation by Robert Petersen)

I’m asking You God, to give me what You have left.
Give me those things which others never ask of You.
I don’t ask You for rest, or tranquility.
Not that of the spirit, the body, or the mind.
I don’t ask You for wealth, or success, or even health.
All those things are asked of You so much Lord,
that you can’t have any left to give.
Give me instead Lord what You have left.
Give me what others don’t want.
I want uncertainty and doubt.
I want torment and battle.
And I ask that You give them to me now and forever Lord,
so I can be sure to always have them,
because I won’t always have the strength to ask again.
But give me also the courage, the energy,
and the spirit to face them.
I ask You these things Lord,
because I can’t ask them of myself.

For all of the men and women who gave their last full measure, and the families that forever have a hole in their hearts, thank you.


  • Well, the Mueller report is out, and it seems to say whatever the people commenting on it want it to say.
    • I haven’t seen this much projection since I took a behind-the-scenes tour of a 15 screen movie theater when I was a Cub Scout.
  • Note to self – In the unlikely event that I become President, task #1 after the inauguration is to fire everyone I can legally fire.
    • Tast #2 is to replace them with overly loyal and, at least, somewhat competent people.
    • Seems like a good way to reduce the chances of getting shanked in the showers.
  • Interestingly enough, the person I was speaking to the other day about politics and the Notre Dame fire did not see the irony of believing that Bernie Sanders should be allowed to do whatever he wants with his money while at the same time believing that it’s evil to donate millions to restore a religiously and culturally significant building.
  • Irish Woman paid a nice young man to carve on her corneas with a ruby-chromium laser the other day. So far, so good. Of course, she could already freeze ice and/or kill with a glance.


  • Is it a bad thing that the first thought to go through my mind after I opened my eyes this morning was “Well, let’s get this shit show on the road.”?
    • My morning prayer has devolved down to “Dear Lord, please give me the strength to do what’s right and the patience to deal with those who don’t. But if it is your will that I choke the living !#$! out of someone today, your will be done.”
  • You’d think that as a boy learns to obsess over something new (Spiderman), he’d drop something else (Harry Potter, Narnia), wouldn’t you?
    • Could be worse. Could be Pokemon.
  • Met two veterans today. Even though we didn’t know each other from Adam, within 15 minutes, we were swapping stories like old friends. It was a good feeling.
  • We’ve reached that wonderful part of the year here in Kentucky where all of the outdoor plants are trying to kill me. We had a light rain the other morning, and it left a greenish-yellow sludge on the low spots in the parking lot at work.


  • Phrases I have used lately:
    • How about doing it the right way? We haven’t tried that yet!
    • No, I’m not bitter. I’m ‘burn the village to the ground and piss on the ashes’ angry.
    • You apologize to that lady over there or I’m gonna follow you home and beat your daddy’s ass for not raising you right.
    • Oh, I’m sorry. Am I not doing your job fast enough?
  • Don’t ever tell me that dog’s can’t understand English. Moonshine knows that “Clean up on aisle 2!” means that his master has dropped an entire bowl of cereal on the kitchen floor.
  • Someone at work thinks I’m joking when I say “Sleep is for the weak.”


  • Boo’s skill with the bow is improving. In fact, his school team has been invited to participate in the state meet.
    • He gets this particular skill from me, of course.
    • His mother doesn’t need a bow. She kills a thought and an icy stare.
  • Irish Woman’s arguments against moving to North Dakota are becoming weaker. It was only 10 degrees cooler in my hometown than in Louisville the other day.
    • Of course, that’s before you factor in the wind, but I’m not going to mention that to her.
  • Irish Woman gives me grief for being a soft touch, but we seem to have started quite a collection of Girl Scout cookies on the kitchen counter, and I haven’t even run into my pusher yet.
  • It’s standardized testing time at Boo’s school, or as we call it, “Annual No-Homework-But-Still-Early-Bedtime Week”.
  • I got to be arm candy for Irish Woman the other night when we were invited to tour the new snow leopard exhibit at the Lousville Zoo.
    • The new exhibit is wonderful, and we got to go behind the scenes to see the snow leopards and Siberian tigers.
    • The leopards were pretty calm and just watched the tourists go by.
    • The female tiger gave us a few growls, then lay her head down and snoozed.
    • The male, tiger, on the other hand, was having none of this.
    • I thought they were playing animal sounds outside for atmosphere. Nope, it was the male tiger roaring through several yards of concrete.
    • Did you know that a 400 pound male tiger roaring and leaping at the front of his enclosure will cause your heart rate to double in less than a second?


  • Of course I caught the flu. What else was I going to do over the next few days?
  • I’ve fallen asleep watching a docudrama about the Yellowstone supervolcano and a biographical series, in Russian, of Leon Trotsky.
    • Now, those made for some really sweet fever dreams.
  • Apparently, I’m grumpy when I’m sick. Who knew?
  • When it comes to my career, I should have listened to my mother. I’d have made a great piano player in a whorehouse.
  • Irish Woman and Boo are trying to figure out how to fit Cub Scout camp, a family reunion, a Caribbean cruise, tea with the Queen, a voyage to Mars, and some downtime into one weekend in June. I’m excited to see how it turns out.
  • I listened to a radio play of Heinlein’s Requiem the other day. I kept seeing an elderly Elon Musk as the main character.
  • Boo really likes LawDog’s African Adventures, but recently he asked his mother what White Horse whisky and Playboy magazine are.
    • Yeah, I had some ‘splaining to do.
  • I recently mailed a letter on official Hogwarts stationary and put a Scooby-Doo stamp on the envelope. The funny thing is that it didn’t seem at all odd.


  • Sleepover math: If each 11-year-old boy at the sleepover is to be offered enough nutrition to not starve to death between 4 PM on a Saturday until 10 AM the following morning, how much food must you have on hand?
    • Answer – 2 large cheese pizzas, 1 large pepperoni pizza, 1 large ham and pineapple pizza, 1 order each of breadsticks and garlic knots, a case of bottled water, a pound each of mandarin oranges and strawberries, one bag of microwave popcorn, a dozen donuts, a hotel breakfast buffet, and enough coffee to keep yourself sane.
    • That, by the way, is not an exaggeration.
  • One of the boys had never seen any Star Wars before the sleepover, and the other boys threatened bodily harm to anyone who spoiled it for him after I put the DVD in the player.
  • Watching a bunch of alpha-male young men try to play Harry Potter Trivial Pursuit was quite entertaining. I’ve watched old priests dicker over details of Christian dogma with less zeal than these kids did when arguing about each other’s answers to questions about Hogwarts.
  • If you’re working the oh-my-Lord-it’s-early shift at the donut place, please partake of some of your fine coffee before answering the drive-thru.
    • “A dozen plain donuts and a dozen mixed donuts” should not confuse you.
  • I know IrishWoman was trying to help me out on my diet, but I was kind of counting on having those leftover doughnuts and pizza for breakfast and lunch tomorrow.
    • No, it’s fine. I like cold boiled eggs and cheese at 4 AM on a cold, rainy February morning.
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