The student government of Western Kentucky University recently passed a resolution calling for free tuition for students of African descent. The real President of the University responded here, but I thought I’d put my own spin on it.
BOWLING GREEN, Ky. (KDDY)— Western Kentucky University Chancellor Daddy J. Bear has responded to a recent student government association resolution to support reparations for black students.
The resolution’s purpose was to establish full and free access to WKU for black students, and well as free tuition, and to acknowledge slavery is a “debt that will never be paid.”
Mister Bear said in a statement released Thursday:
“Are you out of your ever-loving minds? How in the bloody blue pluperfect <CENSORED> did you all get into this university? Get the head of Admissions in here, now!”
“Apparently the members of the Student Government aren’t being given enough homework, because they had the time to pass this drivel. In order to head off the inevitable passing of similar wrongheaded ‘legislation,’ allow me to clarify that their resolution is is a waste of paper and electrons, which is probably a good way to describe their academic performance. I have read the SGA resolution, and I am ashamed that they have learned so little at the University that they would think that we would adopt any such policy.”
“I’ve spent much of the last year engaging in dialogue with black student leaders on campus, which has led to a greater understanding and appreciation of their experiences and priorities on my part, as I hope that they have learned that my priority is their education, not their feelings. I want to reiterate that our goal at the University is to prepare our students for entry into the job market as useful, thoughtful, and properly trained professionals, not as poorly-groomed dolts who think that a meaningless resolution passed after many speeches cribbed from the 23rd All-Soviet Veterinary Conference of 1952 will do a lick of good for race relations.”
“As we continue to try to educate those who think that such half-baked ideas are worth their time, we will focus on those things that help all students succeed: scholarship, personal discipline, and challenging curriculum. We will direct resources, energy and effort toward those methods that are responsible, practical and proven to achieve student success, and continue to point and laugh at the Twitter activists, perpetually offended, and those who think that silly hats can change the world.”