From the “Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?” Department – A village in Japan has installed several large robotic wolves to help deal with a rash of bear incursions.  The animatronic wolves make noises and flash red from their eyes when something triggers their motion sensors.  No word yet on how many of the local people have soiled themselves after setting these devices off while taking a late evening stroll.

From the “Adventures in Parenting” Department – A school in France has asked parents to stop throwing their children over a locked gate and into the schoolyard when they arrive late to school.  Apparently, the teachers have been mistaking them for German paratroopers, which disrupts instruction as they tear down the tricolor and start waving their handkerchiefs.

From the “Cabin Fever” Department – A family in California has devoted their time in Covid-19 lockdown to creating a smaller version of the DisneyLand Matterhorn attraction.  They worked from March to July on the ride, which features 400 feet of track.  A crack team of Disney legal ninjas has already been dispatched to the scene, while Governor Newsom will be holding a press conference announcing a closure of the ride next week.

From the “Et Tu, Brute?” Department – A gold coin, minted to commemorate the assassination of Julius Caesar, sold at auction for $3.5 million.  No word yet on the amount that the commemorative coin for 2020 election shenanigans will go for.