• I have come to the conclusion that our local grocery store is becoming a place where people who do not cook go to get food.
  • Their section of frozen meals that just need a few minutes in the microwave is larger than the produce area.
  • The coffee shop gets more traffic than the bread aisle, and they’re remodeling to add an asian cafe and a barbecue joint.
• Boo’s school has a program where students read books, then take on-line quizzes about them.  Each book is assigned a certain number of points based on its reading level.
  • Boo’s goal for the year was to get 25 points on these tests.
  • Today, he surpassed 127 points by taking the test for The Hobbit.
  • I may have created a monster.
• It is rarely a good thing to report “Well, it’s not good, but we’re better than we were yesterday.”

What’s he that wishes so?
My cousin, Westmorland? No, my fair cousin;
If we are mark’d to die, we are enow
To do our country loss; and if to live,
The fewer men, the greater share of honour.
God’s will! I pray thee, wish not one man more.
By Jove, I am not covetous for gold,
Nor care I who doth feed upon my cost;
It yearns me not if men my garments wear;
Such outward things dwell not in my desires.
But if it be a sin to covet honour,
I am the most offending soul alive.
No, faith, my coz, wish not a man from England.
God’s peace! I would not lose so great an honour
As one man more methinks would share from me
For the best hope I have. O, do not wish one more!
Rather proclaim it, Westmorland, through my host,
That he which hath no stomach to this fight,
Let him depart; his passport shall be made,
And crowns for convoy put into his purse;
We would not die in that man’s company
That fears his fellowship to die with us.
This day is call’d the feast of Crispian.
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam’d,
And rouse him at the name of Crispian.
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say “To-morrow is Saint Crispian.”
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,
And say “These wounds I had on Crispin’s day.”
Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,
But he’ll remember, with advantages,
What feats he did that day. Then shall our names,
Familiar in his mouth as household words—
Harry the King, Bedford and Exeter,
Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester—
Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb’red.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne’er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be rememberèd-
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne’er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs’d they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin’s day.

— William Shakespeare, Henry V, Act IV, Scene iii

• OldNFO did an interview about the CalExit anthology yesterday.  Give it a listen!
• The yearly fight against zombie leaves in the yard has begun.  So far, I’m winning.
• You can take it as a sign of how good a neighbor I’m trying to be when I spend several hours raking, mowing, and bagging leaves today when there is supposed to be a windstorm followed by rain tonight.
• Note to self – Paper money will hide very effectively in two inches of leaves.  That is, of course, until you run over it with the lawnmower.
• Yesterday morning, I was up at about 7:45.  I fed the dogs and cats, made coffee, and put on some quiet music.
  • I had a choice of Vivaldi or John Philip Sousa.
  • Sousa just sounded right.
  • Irish Woman did not agree.
  • She also didn’t like the Chipmunks, which was what I put on after I shut off Sousa.
• At 6:35 this morning, I was awoken by my darling wife because she and Boo swore they heard someone playing our piano.
  • She is now convinced we have a ghost.
  • I’m convinced this has more to do with John Philip Sousa than it has to do with spectral housemates.
• Going to the grocery store today was an adventure in observing rude dumbasses.
  • I watched two older ladies having a bit of a tug of war over a box of “Thin Mint” breakfast cereal.
  • A young man, who must be either a raging assbite or legally blind, ran into a young mother with his cart as he was shopping for body wash.
  • I witnessed, and may God strike me down if I lie, a teenage girl spit on her mother in the dairy section.  The fact that the mother did not murder her right then and there tells me a lot about where we are as a society.
• Reading the news this morning, I was struck by how many people are suddenly experts in light infantry tactics and the JFK assassination.

• Tom’s Principle of Laundry – The number of loads of laundry done in a household is a geometric progression of the number of people living in that household.
  • The number of socks that need to be mated is a further progression of that function.
  • Don’t even get me started about towels and dishrags.
• Not sure why this is, but the smell of beef stew meat cooking with good onions in beef broth always makes me feel like I’m home.
• Looks like we won’t get any color out of our maple trees this year.  The leaves are going from green to yellow to brown and falling off in less than 24 hours.
• Some folks never seem to realize that you can’t threaten someone with consequences they do not care about.
  • “I won’t vote for your candidate in the next election!”  Were you going to vote for them in the first place?
  • “I won’t support your bill in Congress!” When have you ever been brave enough to break from your party?
  • “I’ll never support your cause!”  Oh, like you really cared about free speech and gun rights to begin with?
  • “I’ll walk away from these negotiations!”  OK, we can walk away too, with all of our money.
  • “If you don’t continue to pay me to breathe, I’ll hold my breath until I turn blue!”  That’s been done.  Have you considered aubergine?
• It’s amazing how many people want me to care more about their business than they do.
• “Make them say ‘no’ three times” only means that I have an opportunity to fall from “firm, but polite” to “terse” to “rude”.

• Boo and I went on a hike with his Cub Scout group this morning.  It was a beautiful morning, with lots of stuff for the boys to stop and learn about.
  • We had as many hikers at the end as we did at the beginning, so I’ll call that a success.
• People who go to the hardware store to wander the aisles are just as infuriating as people who go to the grocery store to wander.
• There are many times in life where someone asking “Why?” is appropriate and necessary.
  • Most of the past week has not been one of those times, both for me and for other folks in my life.
  • Somedays, I just have to remember that I was not put on this earth to break things down Barney style.
  • Also, as I’ve grown older, I’ve learned that I have to conserve how often I use my crayons to explain things.
• I went out today to do four errands.  I proudly came home after completing all two of them.

• The Tomato-Jalapeno jelly tastes really good, but it’s not setting up the way I want it to.  I recanned it with more pectin, and it is a bit thicker.
  • During recanning, between residue and steam, I lost a pint of jelly.  That surprised me.
  • I’ll give it a few days to set up before I declare it a failure.
  • Then again, it might go well with vanilla ice cream.  This requires experimentation!
• I also made chili sauce from  the tomatoes and peppers we’ve been freezing all summer.
  • The total is 23 quarts of sauce out of two 14 quart batches of fixings.
  • Along with the 22 quarts of pasta sauce I made last month, that should last us until this time next year.
• Pro-tip – When canning food, make sure the dogs don’t have access to the kitchen.
  • There’s nothing like trying to empty a glass quart jar full of boiling water and having a dog run between your legs.
• If the rain stops, Boo and I will be pulling what remains of the garden out tomorrow so that we can start mixing mulched leaves into the soil.
  • It’s my hope that all of my kids know how to at least supplement their diets with home-grown vegetables by the time they get to adulthood.
• I also have a large bag of daffodil bulbs that need planting.  My plan is to eventually have enough bulbs planted that we won’t have to plant flowers every spring.
• Irish Woman and Boo had a fun weekend down in Florida.  I’m told that Boo performed well as a young wizard, and they both enjoyed a lazy day yesterday swimming around an artificial volcano.
  • From what Irish Woman tells me, it would have been hard to find a virgin in the area much older than Boo had a sacrifice been necessary.
  • Irish Woman’s new term – “Buttkini”.  You figure it out.
• Boo spent a good portion of his weekend at Hogwarts.  What does he want to watch tonight when I offer him a bonus movie night?  Harry Potter.
• One of the side benefits of sending the family away for a weekend is being able to watch my movies before 9 PM.
  • Get your mind out of the gutter.

• Famous Last Words
  • I don’t need to wear rubber gloves when I cut up these jalapenos.
  • Washing my hands will get all the capsaicin off my hands.
  • That’s just nice, clean steam coming out of that boiling pot of tomatoes and peppers.
  • My eyes and sinuses will stop burning in a little while.
• Irish Woman and Boo are off on an adventure.  Apparently they had to do their O.J. Simpson impression running across an airport to make their connection today.
• Schedule for me while they are away:
  • Tonight – Jalapeno-Tomato jelly.
  • Friday – Researching walking routes through the Pamir Mountains and the governmental structure of the Parthian and Bactrian Empires. Laundry.
  • Saturday – Chili base and housework.
  • Sunday – Yard Work, cook dinner, and pick up the family.
• I spent about half my day trying to prove a negative.  I think I may have made a career out of doing that.