Like a lot of folks, I’ve been watching the Winter Olympics a lot lately.  OK, more than a lot.  As I’ve enjoyed the different events, I’ve wondered how they came to be, and I thought I’d share my research with y’all.

• Cross-Country Skiing – Wow, it’s really snowy, and I’ve got to get over there as quickly as possible.
• Biathlon – Wow, it’s really snowy, and there’s a bunch of people over there that need to be shot.
• Downhill Skiing – I’m at the top of the mountain, and I really need to be at the bottom of the mountain in a few minutes.
• Slalom – Trees!  Trees!  Trees on the mountain!
• Ski Jump – Two Norwegians, a mountain, and a keg of beer all contributed to the inception of this activity, I just know it.
• Snowboarding – Well, there’s too much snow for skateboarding.  What’re we gonna do now, dude?
• Speed Skating – Well, the lake’s frozen, and I really need to be over there then get back here as quickly as possible.
• Short Track Speed Skating – Go fast, lean left.
• Short Track Relay – Go fast, lean left, push on my butt so I can go faster!
• Figure Skating – I feel pretty, oh so pretty!
• Ice Dancing – All the funny clothes of figure skating, without all the grace and jumps
• Bobsled – We’ve got a sled, a steep hill, gravity, and a lot of ice.  Punch it!
• Luge – Bobsled? Wimps.
• Skeleton – Pffft!
• Curling – I really have no idea how this got into the Olympics, but I’m glad it did.  I never realized how hypnotizing this game was when I was little and curling was what people who were too old for hockey did on a Friday night.
• Hockey – Soccer pitch is frozen over.  Well, might as well make the best of it.

After the successful launch of the SpaceX heavy rocket yesterday, we all watched as a red Tesla Roadster convertible, complete with a spacesuit in the driver’s seat headed out toward Mars and the asteroid belt.  As OldNFO reported, the car is playing music to the stars.

So, of course, I’m wondering what music Elon Musk and his intrepid crew programmed into their monument to “Hold my beer and watch this”.  Here are a few suggestions:

First, of course, we have some David Bowie, although it’s not the song they chose for the launch.

Then, we have some Peter Schilling.

And who can do a space-based playlist without Sir Elton John?

Of course, we will need Valentine Michael Smith’s favorite song.

We’ll need some encouragement for anyone who travels out beyond the Roadster’s orbit.

And finally, just in case there are any visitors who might have hostile intentions toward our little blue planet, we need to have something that’ll let them know who they’re messing with.

Have suggestions for the playlist?  Leave them in comments!

Gun Hickie – The bruise you can get on your shoulder the day after a good, long day at the range.

Yesterday, I reviewed the new movie, Dunkirk.  Reader mrgarabaldi pointed out that there has been a kerfuffle due to the relative lack of non-white and/or female characters.  Well, I’ve done a bit of digging, and found out that Mr. Nolan had to cut out a lot of content to make the movie fit into his allotted length.

I have spent zero time literally hours combing through this additional content, and I am happy to report that if you see the super-duper expanded director’s second-cousin’s cut, you will get to see the following characters who aren’t white or male:

Warning, major spoilers ahead!

• If you’re looking for African-American characters, have no fear.  Nolan used black actors for all of the German aircrews.  The bomber crews, of course, were female.
• The u-boat captain, whose deleted scenes run to almost three hours, is a woman of south Asian and Filipino heritage.  You’ll know her by the black swastika embedded in her ruby nose ring.
• Her first mate may look like he just ran naked through a bleach factory, but rest assured that he is Russian of Tatar extraction.  You can tell by looking closely at his eyes while he’s peering through the periscope.
• The crew of the Swedish battleship includes your standard blonde, pasty-white Scandinavians, but Nolan added a bridge crew that includes Syrians, Libyans, Somalis, and a couple Japanese observers.  Japanese count as people of color, don’t they?
• Unfortunately, due to contractual disputes, Samuel L. Jackson’s portrayal of the commander of the H.M.S. Mother****** was cut out of the finished product.  Thankfully, a battle royale that included agents, lawyers, SAG enforcers, and several rabid dogs has brought about an agreement that will bring his performance to the extra-special BlueRay release just in time for Christmas.

No matter how much we prize historical accuracy about the bravery of our forefathers, there’s no reason we can’t check all the correct demographic blocks in our entertainment.

What a time to be alive.