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Follow-Up

Yesterday, I reviewed the new movie, Dunkirk.  Reader mrgarabaldi pointed out that there has been a kerfuffle due to the relative lack of non-white and/or female characters.  Well, I’ve done a bit of digging, and found out that Mr. Nolan had to cut out a lot of content to make the movie fit into his allotted length.

I have spent zero time literally hours combing through this additional content, and I am happy to report that if you see the super-duper expanded director’s second-cousin’s cut, you will get to see the following characters who aren’t white or male:

Warning, major spoilers ahead!

  • If you’re looking for African-American characters, have no fear.  Nolan used black actors for all of the German aircrews.  The bomber crews, of course, were female.
  • The u-boat captain, whose deleted scenes run to almost three hours, is a woman of south Asian and Filipino heritage.  You’ll know her by the black swastika embedded in her ruby nose ring.
  • Her first mate may look like he just ran naked through a bleach factory, but rest assured that he is Russian of Tatar extraction.  You can tell by looking closely at his eyes while he’s peering through the periscope.
  • The crew of the Swedish battleship includes your standard blonde, pasty-white Scandinavians, but Nolan added a bridge crew that includes Syrians, Libyans, Somalis, and a couple Japanese observers.  Japanese count as people of color, don’t they?
  • Unfortunately, due to contractual disputes, Samuel L. Jackson’s portrayal of the commander of the H.M.S. Mother****** was cut out of the finished product.  Thankfully, a battle royale that included agents, lawyers, SAG enforcers, and several rabid dogs has brought about an agreement that will bring his performance to the extra-special BlueRay release just in time for Christmas.

No matter how much we prize historical accuracy about the bravery of our forefathers, there’s no reason we can’t check all the correct demographic blocks in our entertainment.

What a time to be alive.

 

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11 Comments

  1. Heh… Good one!

  2. I would take the claims that caqsting should be colorblind a lot kore seriously if I thought that a director who, say, cast black actors for white roles who had them don caucasian makeup wouldn’t get lynched.

    The only think this moonbat idiocy accomplishes is making the KKK look sane by comparison.

    And I loathe the KKK.

  3. Deserttrek

     /  July 30, 2017

    no such thing as an african american , that was invented by jesse jackson

    • Not gonna argue with you there. It was just part of the snark.

    • homebru

       /  July 30, 2017

      Beg to difer.

      Kim Du Toit is a caucasian, born in Africa, and now a naturalized American citizen.

      Walla, a true African-American.

  4. “What a time to be alive.”

    Heh. Insert eye roll here.

  5. richard40

     /  July 31, 2017

    Pretty good sendup of the diversity idiots. Yes, there would not be a lot of people of color in the German/Nazi armed forces of the time, and not much on the British side either, unless they had some troops from India, black South Africans, or NZ Maoris, and they would have been a really small fraction.
    Now where is the proper diversity remake of Zulu, with an integrated Zulu army containing plenty of white people.

  6. fuzziewuzziebear

     /  August 2, 2017

    It is good to be a bear. For years, I thought that I was the only one. Greetings!

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