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The Voter and the Politician

The Voter, dressed from head to toe in black, crept up the Cliffs of Despair.  He had been making good progress for a while, but the evil Puppet Master had cut the rope, hoping to dump him down onto the Rocks of Disillusionment.  Luckily, the Voter had been able to grab onto the Cliffs’ craggy surface, and had labored ever since to reach the top and the ballot box waiting for him there.

The Puppet Master had gathered up two of his minions, the first a manlike creature with oddly colored orange skin and small hands, and the other a woman with a grating voice and a look as if someone had shoved something disgusting under her nose, and made for the hills beyond the cliffs.  He left behind the Politician, whom he was glad to be shut of.  He muttered under his breath about people with scruples as he raced to catch up with his toadies.

The Politician practiced a few of his favorite rhetorical flourishes as he waited, first parrying a criticism this way, then thrusting out a well-briefed opinion that way.  Finally, he peeked over the side of the cliff, seeing the Voter climbing over a particularly steep outcropping.

“I don’t suppose there is any way you could vote for me, is there?” the Politician called down. “I’d like to know how you plan to vote.”

The Voter looked up in disdain.  “Look, this isn’t particularly easy, so I’d appreciate it if you could either be quiet or do something useful, like throwing down a rope.”

The Politician looked around and saw the length of rope the Puppet Master had left behind.

“I could get you free stuff!” he exclaimed excitedly. “Let you stare at your navel in college for a few more years!  I could shut down the border if that’s what you want?”

“And I’m supposed to believe you?” the Voter retorted, pulling himself up onto a narrow ledge.  “No, I’m afraid you’ll just have to wait until after the election to see how I vote.”

“I could swear on my honor as a Politician that I would follow through,” the Politician suggested.

“No good!” the Voter said with a grunt.  He was pulling himself up onto a rock only a few feet from the top.  “I’ve known too many politicians.”

The Politician considered that for a moment, then got a somber look on his face.

“I swear that if you vote for me, I will rescind each and every executive order issued since 2008,” he said, his powerful, earnest voice carrying on the wind.

The Voter, who had just poked his head above the top of the cliff and was hoisting himself up, looked up at him.  With a smile, he said gently, “Give me my ballot.”

1 Comment

  1. Oh WELL done! 🙂

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