- I am officially too damned old for New Year’s Eve. I was as sober as a judge all night, and went to bed at 9:30.
- Our garbage men are going to hate us, because we have approximately 13 cubic yards of junk ready to go out to the curb.
- I braved the nippy Kentucky weather yesterday to make a donut run, before I had coffee. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.
- Girlie Bear knew she had gotten Boo a good book when he immediately ignored her so he could read the first 20 pages.
- Took Irish Woman and Boo to see Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle this morning. We figured that most of the annoying people would either be at home sleeping it off or at someone else’s home trying to figure out where their clothes were.
- I enjoyed this movie more than The Last (Star Wars Movie I’ll Pay Full Price to See) Jedi. Yeah, it’s not a classic of American cinema, but it was fun.
- Here are the movies that had trailers at the theater this morning:
- Maze Runner: The Death Cure – Pretty young people revolt against the ugly old people who are doing ugly things, and triumph after overcoming great physical and moral obstacles, such as getting their faces artistically dirty, and going through through a pretty outrageous series of pretty dangerous stunts and action scenes, because they’re pretty.
- Sherlock Gnomes – Gnomeo and Juliet are back to make all kinds of new little-people based puns, along with a certain detective being portrayed in a way that is making the baby Jesus cry.
- Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse – Apparently there is a plague of radioactive spiders in New York, because every disaffected teen in the city is crawling the walls.
- Peter Rabbit – Rey and General Hux are back, only this time they’re not in a galaxy far, far away. Continuing their quest to destroy all of my favorite childhood memories, they’re turning Beatrix Potter into a CGI-plagued romantic comedy.
- Apparently, I have pinched a nerve in my hip, which does oh, so much for my mid-winter attitude.
- Getting old sucks.
Musings
Posted by daddybear71 on January 1, 2018
https://daddybearsden.com/2018/01/01/musings-271/
Escort Duty – Part 1
Tor Dveglammar listened as the captain of his cavalry completed the morning report.
“… over the mountain. We expect them to report back in two days, maybe three. There’s been no sign of the enemy other than isolated groups of stragglers since they ran from their lines near Tanahuk three days ago,” the young officer said, pointing to a map laid out on the table before them, “so their main body must have escaped through one of the passes.”
Tor nodded as he stroked the long braids in his russet beard. His wife had kept him in their tent until she had them perfectly set, but his habit of tugging on them when he was frustrated had already pulled several whiskers loose.
“Dat makes sense,” he said in a low, tense voice, “Report vat da scouts find as soon as dey get back.”
“Yes, my lord,” the captain said, bowing. Tor returned the salute, and the cavalryman turned and left the tent. Tor’s aide, Soren, poked his head in the tent flap.
“Anyting else?” Dveglammar growled. His army had been idle for a week after shattering their foe, and their commander was growing restless. Soren, who also happened to be his wife’s cousin, made good use of his thick skin after the first few days of rest and idleness had worn Tor’s patience thin.
“Two things, my lord. There’s the matter of Princess Erika, and we have to deal with that man we caught stealing from the plunder.”
“Oh, ja, dat. All right, bring in da prinzess. I still don’t know vat to do vit dat damned half-elf.”
Soren nodded and left his commander behind to brood. Tor’s eyes flicked to the steel rings of his armor, which rested on a table in the corner with his war hammers, Ban and Kyk.
Dose tings are gettin’ dusty, he thought bitterly, Need to get dem back in da field.
With a sigh, he rose and paced the ground behind his chair. He was a campaigner, not a general, but when the counter-attack at Tanahuk killed King Henry, the responsibility fell to him. The martial duties, those he had known what to do with. The rest?
“Bah!” he exclaimed to the empty tent.
He considered whether or not it was worth walking outside to enjoy some of the spring sunshine, but the tent flap pulled back and Princess Erika, daughter and only child of King Henry Löwenherz, ruler of the Western Islands, flounced in. She was tall and athletic in build, with hair the color of summer honey and blue eyes like snow with sunshine behind it. She walked with the certainty and grace of a high born lady, and her glare cut around the tent as she surveyed it.
A young woman, small in stature, wearing a shift and wimple, which matched her brown hair, walked behind her, holding the back of the princess’ skirt up from the grass and dirt.
Erika wore what could charitably be called armor and a helmet over her satin gown. The silvered iron wings adorning her head covering, polished to a mirror finish, glinted in the beam of sunlight which followed her through the door. The braids, which her maid, Greta, had made in her hair, dipped below her helm on either side of her head. Her bodice of silver ringlets, sewn onto dark blue leather, accentuated the pale undergarment that lay between it and her creamy white skin. Overall, when combined with her sharp features and ice blue eyes, she looked every inch of a shield-maiden.
Tor tried hard to not snort when she strutted up to him and stood at attention. He’d seen her fence with her father’s guard, and she had talent. But she had taken to wearing the getup around camp ever since her father had summoned her in the fall.
How did she keep varm in dat ting all tru da vinter? Tor wondered as he smiled at the princess, Dat costume vould be as practical in combat as a vooden sword.
“Prinzess, how are you dis morning?” he asked, bowing deeply and rolling his r’s the way his speech master had taught him.
“Not well, my lord,” she replied angrily, “Your man there tells me that I am to leave for home tomorrow.”
“Ja, your father told me dat you vas to return to da Islands so dat you could get married in Yune.”
“But I swore to avenge my father’s death!” she exclaimed, “How can I do that when I’m being sent home to be a blushing bride?”
“Oh, now, your father vould not like to hear such talk. Prince Yorgen is a nice boy, and he vill make you a good husband!”
“But my oath?” she protested.
“Ach, da Tanahuk rebels are finished. A few more little battles and ve’ll all be on our vay home. Don’t you vorry about dat.”
Erika considered that for a moment. She inclined her head toward the chair, and Tor nodded with a smile.
Taking a seat, she said, “I don’t like it, but if that’s what father wanted, I’ll do it.”
“Gut, gut. I’ll get someone to escort you to da ship, and you’ll be on your vay,” Tor replied, a look of relief coming to his face.
“How long is it to Thameshaven by ship, a month?” Erika asked.
“Oh, no, vit the spring vinds, you’ll be getting dere in tree months.”
“Three months?” Erika exclaimed in surprise, “But I’m supposed to get married in three months!”
Tor shook his head.
“Prinzess, dere’s notting to be done about it,” he said, shaking his head again and spreading his hands, “Da sea is da only safe vay home from here. Overland takes you troo da lands of our enemies. Dey’re da ones dat vere paying Tanahuk to rebel, and dey’d love to get der hands on a prinzess. No, no, you take da ship, and if your vedding is late, den at least it’s not your funeral.”
Erika glared at Tor, narrowing her eyes as her lips grew thinner. Tor wondered if there might be some magic in the royal bloodline, because he could swear he felt a small dot of blazing heat growing between his eyes.
“How much quicker is it to go by land?” she demanded.
“It’s a month’s yourney if you don’t dawdle, but it’s too dangerous.”
“I could be there in a month, or I can be there in three months?” Erika replied icily.
“Prinzess, you’d have to bring an army vit you if you went through Pesht, and a bigger army to get through Booda. Ve only got da one army, and it’s busy right now.”
Erika looked at the map on the table for a moment. Tor could almost hear the wheels turning in her head.
She is her vater’s dotter after all, he thought, She von’t go vitout trying to get her vay. I vonder vat’s going on in dere?
“Prince Jorgen’s lands lay on the other side of Booda, don’t they?” Erika asked, looking up from the chart and and arching an eyebrow.
“Yes, but vat does dat have to do…”
“If I can sneak through to the border, then he can join me in my journey to my father’s lands. It’s quite simple, really,” the princess said, gesturing toward the map.
“Simple? Prinzess, you vould have to get past tree borders, cross I don’t know how many rivers, and not let anyvone figure out who you are.”
“But it could be done,” she replied, tilting her head, “I’d just need someone who knows those lands and how to be a good sneak.”
Tor looked down at his hands for a moment, then looked up at the young woman seated in front of him.
“Ja, it could be done, and your father’s ghost could come back and beat me about da head and shoulders for letting you do it,” Tor said sternly, “No, it’s too dangerous. You’ll take da ship.”
Erika regarded the tall Northman again, then shrugged.
“Have it your way,” she said haughtily, “I imagine that you will be busy trying to make up the loss of my troops.”
“Loss of your troops?”
“If I am forced to take a ship home, then I shall take the archers and soldiers my father provided back with me,” Erika said sweetly, “A princess needs a proper escort, after all.”
“You vould deprive me of all of da archers and half da foot?” Tor said, a look of understanding dawning on his face.
“Since you only have a few little battles left before our foes are crushed, my people can escort me home.”
“But I, ve….”
“That is, of course, unless you can provide a small guard to escort me overland,” Erica said, her white teeth showing in what some might have called a smile. Tor recognized the expression from when he had seen her father dictate terms to a defeated foe.
Tor huffed through his mustache, fluffing it out. His forehead wrinkled as he considered his options.
“All right,” he said after a moment, “You’ll get sumvun to escort you to da border vit Prince Yorgen’s lands, and your soldiers stay vit da army.”
“Deal. We leave tomorrow?”
“Fine.”
Erika gave Tor a wide smile as she stood.
“So nice when we can reach a compromise, my lord,” she said sweetly as she turned to the door. Her maid followed, averting her eyes from the deadly glare Tor cast into her mistress’ back.
“Soren,” he roared after the tent flap closed again and he counted to thirty slowly, “get in here!”
Other episodes can be found here. The entire anthology can be purchased at Amazon.
Posted by daddybear71 on January 1, 2018
https://daddybearsden.com/2018/01/01/escort-duty-part-1/
Escort Duty
Over the next few weeks, I am going to serialize my longish short story “Escort Duty“, which is available in the anthology of the same name on Amazon.
The story is set in the Minivandians world, and tells us about one of Simon’s adventures before he met Ruarin and DaddyBear.
I hope you all enjoy it. Happy New Year!
Posted by daddybear71 on January 1, 2018
https://daddybearsden.com/2018/01/01/escort-duty/
Musings
- My plans for decluttering the house are starting to include a 30 foot dumpster and a snow shovel.
- It probably says a lot about my mood lately that I’ve been watching videos of Japanese game shows and giggling like a fiend.
- Note to self – When the overnight diner doubles the size of a large order of hashbrowns prepared “All the way” and adds a healthy dollop of sausage gravy to top it off, that is not to be taken as a personal challenge.
- Man does not live by bread alone. You have to add in coffee and chocolate to have a truly balanced diet while working third shift to monitor computers.
- Irish Woman noticed that my home town had a high temperature in the negative teens the other day. I didn’t help my chances of convincing her to move there someday when I commented that this was before the wind chill was factored in.
- My stories of predawn newspaper delivery during a North Dakota winter were probably counterproductive, too.
- Irish Woman got me an espresso machine and a new coffee maker for Christmas, along with two boxes of pistol ammunition. I fall more in love with her every day.
Posted by daddybear71 on December 30, 2017
https://daddybearsden.com/2017/12/30/musings-270/
Today’s Earworm
Posted by daddybear71 on December 25, 2017
https://daddybearsden.com/2017/12/25/todays-earworm-724/
CLFA Stocking Stuffer Sale

If you’re looking for some good reading to get you through the holidays, some really good folks have banded together to put their wares on sale in the CLFA Stocking Stuffer Sale.
There’s something for everyone in the selection, from fantasy and science fiction to thrillers to historical fiction.
All of the works on the sale page are either free or on sale for a limited time, so please take the opportunity to discover new writers and series.
Posted by daddybear71 on December 23, 2017
https://daddybearsden.com/2017/12/23/clfa-stocking-stuffer-sale/
Christmas Book Sale
Since it’s the season, I thought I’d offer a few books for 99 cents from now until December 27. These are the three shorter works that make up “Coming Home“.
First, we have “Quest to the North”

Long before the comfortable adventures of the everyday, Ruarin, the Lady of Eyre and Daddybear the Minivandian make a harrowing journey to track down the ghoulish remnants of a friend, and the captive he took.
In the frozen north, they must brave not only killing weather and hidden monsters, but the secrets of Daddybear’s past, including his true name…
Second, we have “Lost Children”

Elsked’s adventure continues! In the second of three stories, the Minivandian’s son trades tales of his pets and their misadventures for another story from his parents past.
After escaping the frozen north, Daddybear and Ruarin find refuge with the magical kin of an old friend. Before they can make their way home, treachery will strike the city, leaving death and disappearances in its wake. In an idyllic lakeside city harboring the ancient evil that drove its people from their ancient homeland, can the Minivandian save his Lady of Eire?
Finally, there’s “Lady of Eyre”

From the young prince’s competition in the derby of wooden chargers to the tales of his family’s past come close calls, challenges, and triumph!
When the Lady of Eyre and Daddybear make it to her native land, all is not well. One lord is raiding and enslaving, and others are silenced by gold or lies. When he sets his eyes on Daddybear’s lady and her lands, though, he awakens the full cunning and fury of her barbarian!
I hope everyone enjoys the books and has a happy, and safe, holiday!
Posted by daddybear71 on December 20, 2017
https://daddybearsden.com/2017/12/20/christmas-book-sale/
Review – The Last Closet
Moira Greyland has published The Last Closet: The Dark Side of Avalon, the story of her upbringing in what can only be described as appalling circumstances.
Marion Zimmer Bradley was a bestselling science fiction author, a feminist icon, and was awarded the World Fantasy Award for lifetime achievement. She was best known for the Arthurian fiction novel THE MISTS OF AVALON and for her very popular Darkover series.
She was also a monster.
THE LAST CLOSET: The Dark Side of Avalon is a brutal tale of a harrowing childhood. It is the true story of predatory adults preying on the innocence of children without shame, guilt, or remorse. It is an eyewitness account of how high-minded utopian intellectuals, unchecked by law, tradition, religion, or morality, can create a literal Hell on Earth.
THE LAST CLOSET is also an inspiring story of survival. It is a powerful testimony to courage, to hope, and to faith. It is the story of Moira Greyland, the only daughter of Marion Zimmer Bradley and convicted child molester Walter Breen, told in her own words.
This is not an easy book to read, but that is because of the subject matter, not the writing. The fact that the author has been able to survive the horrific circumstances of her early life is uplifting on its own. I have known folks who went through abuse, both as children and as adults, but nothing I have heard or seen prepared me for the images this book put into my head. Greyland has the good taste to not go into minute detail about the sexual aspect of her parents’ sexual abuse, but what she did share will shock and horrify any decent person. She also paints a vivid, detailed picture of the physical and emotional abuse heaped upon all of her parents’ victims, not to tittilate, but to inform.
Throughout the story, and especially as I read the appendices that included testimony from lawsuits in the late 1990’s, as well as reports of an earlier scandal involving her father from the early 1960’s, I kept thinking to myself “Why didn’t someone step in?”. Greyland’s story reinforces the duty that adults have to speak out when something seems wrong, and to not accept those things that bring harm to the defenseless.
This is definitely a book that I will recommend to others, but it’s not a casual read. Greyland grabs you and doesn’t let go. She doesn’t use tension or action to do this. Rather, her candor and courage in telling this tale draw the reader in, helping them to envision the places and situations that she and others endured.
Posted by daddybear71 on December 16, 2017
https://daddybearsden.com/2017/12/16/review-the-last-closet/
100 Years On – Armistice in the East
On December 15, 1917, a general armistice between the Russian Communist government and the Central Powers went into effect. Effectively, Russian participation in the war was over. Negotiations toward a peace treaty began, and would conclude in March of 1918 with the Russians ceding vast tracts of land to Germany, Austria, and the other members of the Central Powers.
The Bolsheviks had swept into power with a promise to end the war, and their almost abject surrender of the western portion of their country in order to fulfill it gave Germany an opportunity to move men and weapons to the Western Front for the fighting of 1918.
Posted by daddybear71 on December 15, 2017
https://daddybearsden.com/2017/12/15/100-years-on-armistice-in-the-east/
Musings
- If you can’t make monster faces at your youngest son when he’s on stage for a Christmas pageant, what’s the point of having kids?
- Note to musicians – Silent Night does not need new lyrics or arrangement.
- Every time someone sings Jingle Bells as hip-hop, the baby Jesus cries.
- The 12 Days of Christmas is so much better in the original Klingon.
- If you’re over the age of 7 and can’t sit through an elementary school Christmas pageant without constantly talking and laughing with your buddy in the chair next to you, don’t go to said Christmas pageant in the first place.
- If you are six feet in front of me and use a flash strong enough to send semaphore to low earth orbit to take a picture of your child who is two feet behind me, your kid is going to learn a few new Anglo-Saxon words while I wait for my sight to return.
- There are three kinds of kids in Christmas pageants:
- Those who are absolutely thrilled to be there and are having the time of their lives.
- Those who are there to make their mothers and grandmothers happy, no matter how distasteful the experience might be.
- Those who were given a choice by the judge: Go and sing “Oh Holy Night” or go to jail.
Posted by daddybear71 on December 14, 2017
https://daddybearsden.com/2017/12/14/musings-269/







