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Just sets me off like a roman candle

While stopping at the local SuperMegaBigBoxMart for camping groceries, I ran into one of the personality types that just gets under my skin:  The Helpless Human Being.

Ladies and gentlemen, no-one has been responsible for you since your mama taught you to not make messes on the good carpet.  There are several things that an adult in our society must be emotionally and psychologically able to do, including:

  • Shop for groceries
  • Pay for groceries, either with cash, check, or plastic
  • Pump gas
  • Cross the street without being killed
  • Not make messes on the carpet when not supervised

Doing the soft voiced “Fiddle dee dee, I’ve always relied on the kindness of strangers” Katie Scarlett O’Hara imitation is not useful, it’s annoying.

Coming to the check out with a basket of stuff, arguing with both the cashier and the manager over the price of your shampoo, toilet paper, tuna fish, peanut butter, potato chips, and personal lubricant, and then not knowing how to properly fill out a check or use your debit card is assenine.  Doing all this while talking in that sweet, soft, Southern accent in an attempt to elicit sympathy from said cashier and manager is manipulative.

It’s not the 1950’s anymore.  Computers and such are a part of living.  Learn to work with them, or hire someone to do your errands for you.  Either stop acting stupid and start taking care of yourself, or start going to someone else’s store.

Overheard in camp

Irish Woman: What did we bring to drink?
Me: We’ve got sodas, Bud Lite, Sam Adams, Woodford, and Southern Comfort.
Girlie Bear: What’s Southern Comfort? I’ve never heard of that.
Me: Sweetheart, if it weren’t for Southern Comfort, you might not exist.
Girlie Bear: …… Ewwwwwww!

FOB Oso

Base camp established. A full 75% of what was packed was necessary.


Casa de Oso, the portable version


My new kitchen. Only cost 5 boxes of .22.


I have sent the older kids to get firewood. Irish Woman is trying to get BooBoo to take a nap. I am becoming acquainted with India Pale Ale.

Slow Posting

Not going to be a lot of posting here for the next few days.  Irish Woman and I are taking the family up to Indiana for the annual Hoosier Hoedown.  All of her Indiana family is getting together for the weekend at one of the lakes.

This year, my goal is to enjoy myself and not come home a raving lunatic.  Toward that end I’ve simplified what we’re taking, told the kids that dad doesn’t have a filter if they get on his nerves, and am stopping at the liquor store before we cross the state line.

Y’all have a good weekend!

Military Anniversaries

I don’t normally do a “Today in History” bit, but today is quite a date in military history:

1314 – Edward II of England is handed his ass by the Scottish at the battle of Bannockburn.  The battle was a complete rout of the English.  Of approximately 16,000 infantrymen who started the battle on the English side, 11,000 would be dead or captured two days later.  This action sealed the reputation of Robert the Bruce as king of an independent Scotland and probably contributed to the eventual murder of Edward after he abdicated a few years later.

1812 – Napoleon’s Grande Armee crossed into Russian territory on their ill-fated invasion.  By the time Napoleon got to Moscow and back, his army of almost 500,000 had been whittled down to about 27,000 soldiers.  380,000 French soldiers were dead, and about 100,000 were prisoners.  Napoleon had lost his charm of invincibility, and he never recovered from the military, political, or diplomatic losses from this fateful decision.

1916 – Artillery preparation for what would become the Battle of the Somme began.  The infantry advance started on July 1.  By the time the battle was declared over in mid-November, Allied and German casualties numbered over 1,000,000,  of which over 300,000 were killed.  This butcher’s bill paid for an advance of at most 7 miles along the trenches for the Allies.  British and Commonwealth soldiers, who bore the majority of the casualties on the Allied side, advanced only 2 miles.

1948 – The Berlin Blockade begins when Soviet occupation forces cut off all water and land access to Berlin from Western Germany.  The American, French, and British governments responded by supporting Berlin from the air, using transport aircraft to bring in food, fuel, medicine, and everything else the city needed until the blockade was lifted in May 1949.  This was the opening shot of the Cold War.

Yet another reason

This Ain’t Hell points out another reason why I will never live in a subdivision or anywhere else that has a Home Owner’s Association.

No offense, but I don’t like my neighbors enough to let them tell me how my house will be designed or painted, where I will park my vehicles, or how often I mow my grass.  Politely point out something you object to and have a rational discussion with me, and the worst that will happen is we will agree to disagree.  The first time someone stands on my porch and demands I change how I keep up my property is the last time they walk on without a limp.  The good Lord made axe handles for a reason.

My goal is to live far enough out in the country that I can pee off of the porch and the only person who will object is Irish Woman.

Oh, and if you’re worried that a smaller house that’s accessible to someone with this disabled vet’s condition will exert downward pressure on your property values, then you know precisely diddly over squat about the current housing market.

You want the cute?

You can’t handle the cute!

That is Qannik, a polar bear cub that was rescued after being separated from her mother and sibling in Alaska.  She will be joining our other polar bear at the new Glacier Run exhibit at the Louisville Zoo.

The zoo also announced that a new baby giraffe was born recently.  So we’ll have a baby polar bear, young grizzly bears, and a baby giraffe in our zoo.

The cute, it burns!

Schadenfreude

It appears that an investment scheme that was supposed to use the Chicago Mercantile Exchange to raise money for terrorists didn’t work.  Apparently, $35 million was sent to Chicago, and when the federal government froze the account, there was only $7 million in it.  The rest had been lost on the commodities market.

Shucks.

Allow me to shed a silent tear for the member of the Fifth Column that lost more money than I will earn over the course of my entire life in an effort to raise money for people who want to kill me and people like me.

I honestly hope that this guy gets away from our officials.  My guess is that the retribution from the goat-pimps whose money he lost will be much worse than 20 years with three hots and a cot.

Thought for the Day

During the 2012 campaign, when President Obama and his supporters start chanting “Yes we can!” or “Yes we did!”, someone should heckle with “Oh no you didn’t!”, head bob and all.  And when they get really obnoxious, we should go with “I wish you would!”.

Quote of the Day

If this is the plan that they went with, what plan did we reject?  — John Stewart, Comedy Central’s Daily Show, talking about Operation Fast and Furious 

H/T to John Richardson at No Lawyers – Only Guns and Money