- I need to do more housework during the week. Either that, or I need to teach Boo how to work the vacuum cleaner.
- To the lady in the store who got pissed when I gave myself whiplash looking over at your family when your little boy screamed “Shut the hell up mommy! I’m trying to sing!”: It wasn’t your kid I was disappointed with.
- When trying to check out at the store today, and the line was 10 deep at all four open registers, I had to try hard to resist the urge to break out the command voice and yell “Tighten that line up!”.
- To the nice lady who honked her horn at me while I was loading my groceries in the car: There is a direct relationship between how much you annoy me and how slowly I move, as demonstrated by my performance today.
- Young child laundry math: One 3 year old boy, wearing one set of clothing per day, plus pajamas, towels, sheets, and two extra sets of clothing for accidents at day care equals 17 loads of laundry.
- Sending out a 13 year old girl to rake leaves unsupervised is apparently less than useful. Oh well, there’s always tomorrow.
Thoughts on the Day
Posted by daddybear71 on October 30, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/10/30/thoughts-on-the-day-14/
Rules for Dating Girlie Bear
OK, I know it’s a worn out meme, and others have done it before and probably better than I can. But Girlie Bear has another dance at school Monday night, and I’m almost certain there will be boys there. So I thought I’d codify the rules for being my daughter’s date so that there can be no confusion:
- My name is Sir or Mr. Bear. You will not call me by my first name, my last name without the Mr., or any other way of addressing me. I’m also not a pronoun. You may, on occasion, when speaking to my daughter, use the term “your father” to reference me.
- Age rule: One year older than Girlie Bear, one year younger than Girlie Bear. If you’re too young, I’ll call your mother. If you’re too old, I’ll call your father. If you’re way too old, I’ll call the police to come pick your carcass up off the lawn.
- My daughter should come home with the same number of tears in her eyes as when she left. If she ever comes home with a deficit in the amount of eye-water or a gain in the number of bruises, they won’t ever be able to find your body.
- She may seem like a nice, quiet, thoughtful girl, and she is. But she comes from a long, proud line of people with big tempers who fight dirty. I’ve taught her to punch, kick, bite, scratch, knife, and shoot. Piss her off at your own risk.
- I have veto power on who Girlie Bear goes out with, when she goes, where she goes, and the planned activities. There is no appeal, because there is no higher authority.
- If I smell alcohol on either of you at any time, game over. Same goes for weed or cigarettes.
- Arguing or fighting with me about anything will gain you nothing but a jaw wired shut and your next few meals fed to you through a straw. I may be old, slow, and fat, but I bet I can take more of a beating than you can, and I know how long it takes to heal. I will bet money you don’t.
- I set a curfew for a reason. I will be waiting when she gets home.
- I know that all teenagers lie on occasion, and I have spent years trying to learn how to tell if someone is lying to me. So if I suspect that Girlie Bear is lying to me about you, you’re gone. If she tells me one thing, and you deny it, I’ll know you’re lying because your lips are moving.
- I have an evolutionary investment in Girlie Bear, in that I want her to survive to proper reproductive age in order to pass on my genes. I have no such investment in you, and I see no reason to be rational about anything having to do with you. Never forget that.
Posted by daddybear71 on October 29, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/10/29/rules-for-dating-girlie-bear/
I am a RINO
Since I’m sort of running for office around here, I thought I’d make my political affiliation clear to y’all.
My name’s DaddyBear, and I’m a RINO.
Now, before you let loose with the rotten vegetables and paving stones, let me explain.
I was brought up in a bluest-of-the-blue, pro-union Democrat home. My mother was what you could call a mixed-up hippie. Due to her upbringing in a Navy home, with her father and brothers in the service, and being married to a Vietnam vet, she knew that all of the anti-military rhetoric was nothing but hot air. But she was all about entitlement programs, environmental programs, affirmative action, and all of the other liberal things that were in vogue during her lifetime.
My father was an upper-Midwest, agricultural Democrat and for a time was the president of his union local. I guess that pretty much explains his leanings.
As a young boy, I was taken to the local Democrat headquarters and stuffed envelopes, fetched coffee, and the like. I was sent out to help with taking yard signs to little old ladies, and my parents thought they were doing everything they could to make a good Democrat out of me.
Imagine their surprise when I came home from school one fall day in 1980 and announced that I had voted for Ronald Reagan in a class election as part of our social studies work. You’d have thought I came home and announced that I was really running off to join the circus. Her mood wasn’t enhanced when I explained that Carter was an idiot, and I wasn’t going to vote for the man or anyone like him.
So I was a Republican from a pretty early age. I volunteered for the Bush campaign in 1988, which did nothing for my social standing at my Bay Area high school. I was in the military for the Clinton years, and saw all the damage that both he and the Republicans in Congress did while having big schwanz waving contests with each other. It was also during those years that I learned that “Anyone But Clinton” was not a campaign strategy, which is why I refuse to accept the “Anyone But Obama” strategy the GOP is working with this time around.
But I’m not a robot, and I refuse to be programmed.
I guess I explain my political leanings by saying “I’m a Republican, but….”:
- I’m a Republican, but I don’t care who someone is sleeping with or wants to marry.
- I’m a Republican, but I think Bush made a lot of huge blunders in his presidency, most of all in his domestic security agenda and the agencies and policies that we’re dealing with because of it.
- I’m a Republican, and I think that abortion is an evil, dreadful practice, but I dislike the government telling me or anyone else what to do with their body even more.
- I’m a Republican, but I don’t support the party when it says it wants to cut spending then spends money on their own pet projects and favorite companies.
- I’m a Republican, but I will vote for a candidate from another party who I believe is the best person for the job. Voting a straight party ticket is for sheep, not citizens.
There is more, but I think you get the picture. If you’ve been reading my ramblings here for a while, you can see that I’m not exactly cut from a completely Republican cloth.
I guess what I’m saying here is that while I self-identify as a Republican, I don’t always follow the party line. If I were in Congress, the party whip and I would always be at loggerheads. I believe what I believe, and I don’t let my party tell me what to believe, how to vote, or who to support. I stay with the party because there’s still some hope that the libertarian wing, whatever that is, will have enough influence to swing us away from the big government, daddy-state wing. It’s not a lot of hope, and I’ve considered just becoming an Independent, but I’m not there yet.
Anyway, I’m DaddyBear, and I am a RINO.
Posted by daddybear71 on October 29, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/10/29/i-am-a-rino/
Today’s Earworm
Posted by daddybear71 on October 29, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/10/29/todays-earworm-96/
Today’s Earworm
Posted by daddybear71 on October 29, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/10/29/todays-earworm-97/
An Open Letter
To all producers, traffickers, and users of methamphetamine,
I’ve been feeling a bit crummy these past few days. The medicines I have around the house just haven’t been cutting it, and Irish Woman is growing tired of listening to me cough through the night. On the way home with Boo tonight, I decided to visit my local pharmacy to get something to help the situation. I looked through the shelves of ‘alternatives’ to pseudoephedrine, and eventually found the card for the medicine I wanted. Like a good sheep, I took one of them, grabbed some cough drops, and headed over to the pharmacists service window.
After presenting the young man behind the counter with the card, my driver’s license, birth certificate (not Hawaiian), blood and hair sample, fingerprint, and retinal eye scan, I then signed a pledge to not turn my cold medicine into your intoxicant of choice, paid for my purchase, and headed out of the store. I noticed that the item I bought was on sale, and would have stocked up for the upcoming cold and flu season, but didn’t because I didn’t know if doing so was going to bring black clad men with guns to my door at inopportune times.
Basically, what should have been a 30 second transaction turned into a 10 minute exercise in “spot the methhead” for the pharmacist and an exercise in being suspected of being a criminal for me.
So to all of you tweaking bastards out there, let me say this:
If I ever get my hands on any of you snivelling pieces of dirt, I am going to lock you in a running cement mixer filled with thumb tacks and rubbing alcohol. Then I’m going to smother you to death in a bag full of my used tissues and throw your body in the septic tank of the local chili restaurant. I would consider feeding your worthless carcass to some pigs, but I have too much respect for the swine and their sty to do that.
I’ve been using pseudoephedrine responsibly as a cold medicine since I was a teenager, and you all have ruined that for me. Now, I have to be treated like a suspect in order to not have a runny nose and a nagging cough. I hope you’re happy, you worthless, in-bred, bucktoothed wastes of good gametes. I hope that your lives and deaths are nasty, brutish, and protracted. I hope that as you die, the last thing your hear in this world is the sound of your mother coughing and sneezing because you had to get high and she can’t get good medicine over the counter anymore.
Respectfully and congestedly yours,
DaddyBear
Posted by daddybear71 on October 28, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/10/28/an-open-letter-3/
Prediction
I’ve been told that there’s some kind of sporting event taking place in either Missouri or Texas tonight.
I predict that someone will win. There will be a lot of beer drinking and snacking going on during the event. I also predict that some yahoos will be on the news tomorrow after being arrested for either celebrating a victory or mourning a defeat by setting something on fire or knocking something over, or possibly knocking something over then setting it on fire.
Y’all keep me honest here, and let me know how I did come tomorrow.
Posted by daddybear71 on October 28, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/10/28/prediction/
Thought for the Day
You know something’s going right in that whole parenting thing when your daughter wants to join JROTC next year so that she can be on the school air rifle team.
Posted by daddybear71 on October 28, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/10/28/thought-for-the-day-52/
News Roundup
- From the “Torches and Pitchforks” Department – The governor of California is proving that he likes to live in danger. He has announced a proposal to cut back on retirement benefits for state employees, which will include a two tier system, more contributions from employees, and an increased retirement age. Look for cell phone footage of death threats and calls for his defenestration from union leaders anytime soon. Think more “Tehran 1979” than “Occupy Wall Street 2011”.
- From the “Pennies on the Dollar” Department – Negotiators in the European Union have announced a deal where the financial institutions that own Greek bonds will forgive a huge amount of that debt in order to help the Greeks limp along for a few more quarters. Remember kids, bonds are promises, not assets. When the bond holder sends a couple of guys around to tell you that you can either take a beating by ‘forgiving’ a part of the debt, or they can knife you and you’ll get nothing and like it, I guess you take the beating. I just wish they wouldn’t make you smile while they do it.
- From the “Bad Idea” Department – The widow of the man who set dozens of predatory animals loose before committing suicide is telling the Columbus Zoo to return the surviving animals to her care. Nothing can go wrong here. The zoo says it has no right to stop her from getting the animals back under current law, so I suppose she’s going to get them. I just hope that the emergency services, schools, and zoo bill her and her husband’s estate for the cost of all this, and I hope her neighbors sue her for the distress that having lions, tigers, and bears roaming the neighborhood caused.
- From the “They May Have A Point” Department – The family of dead Libyan dictator Mo-Q, as he is known to fans of his electronica recordings, plans to sue NATO in the ICC for causing his death. Their theory seems to be that the legal mandate for NATO intervention said nothing about close air support of ground troops and interdicting convoys of SUV’s, so the attack on Qaddafi was illegal. Much as it hurts to say, I kind of agree. The rationale for our involvement was to stop government forces from killing civilians, not to help the opposition win the war. I don’t think this will go anywhere, but it will be interesting to watch if it does.
- From the “Death From Above” Department – A new Unmanned Aerial Vehicle (UAV) project is apparently underway. The object is to create a small drone that could be carried by a larger drone, then launched as needed. This would give forces on the ground a small eye-in-the-sky that can be deployed from its mothership, then used as either a surveillance platform or as a mini-smartbomb. This is all really cool and I hope it comes to fruition, but the only thing that comes to mind is this: “Yo dog, we heard you like flying drones and killing insurgents, so we put a drone in your drone so you can kill insurgents while you’re killing insurgents!”. I know, I feel dirty too, and I’m sorry.
Posted by daddybear71 on October 27, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/10/27/news-roundup-72/
Blood is Boiling
OK, two rants in two days.
The local news is on, or at least it was until I shut it off in disgust. Over the past two half hour cycles, they have spent about 20 minutes of reporting time talking about a study they’ve ‘found’ that shows that over the past few decades, the ‘rich’ have gotten richer, while the ‘poor’ haven’t had quite as much income growth*. They then drag in one of the local ‘Occupy Something’ people, complete with carefully sculpted fauxhawk, expensive raingear, and a somewhat cultured Bluegrass accent to tell us how unfair it is that those who work are getting a vast amount more than those who don’t.
Look, life’s not fair. Never was, at least since our ancestors figured out that the biggest ape got most of the bananas and the cutest mate. You might as well complain that the small, agriculturally unproductive area of downtown Louisville is getting rain when the vast majority of the area is not as wet but has much more acreage. The mark of a good person is that you don’t accept that unfairness as an excuse, and try to find a way to overcome it.
The ‘rich’, few of whom inherited the bulk of their wealth, have gotten off of their butts and created that wealth that the hipster on the TV is whining about. Maybe they started a business and through hard work, ingenuity, and a good dose of luck were able to get rich doing it. Maybe they gave someone else money to do that, and now they are enjoying the fruits of that investment. Either way, because they invested a chunk of their lives in trying to do something, they’re wealthier than they were before, and more people are not among the ‘poor’ due to their efforts.
Yeah, the rich are getting richer faster than the poor are. Anyone want to admit that it’s not because of their race, or their family tree, or their political connections that they got that way? My guess is that most of them got that way because they got up every day, worked themselves to death, and got to bed late after putting everything they had into their job or their business.
My family isn’t rich when compared to the truly wealthy, but I know how I got to where I am. I’ve worked hard every day since I can remember, I’ve gotten an education in something that can pay to feed my children, and I’ve never taken a thin dime from the government that I didn’t earn. I may not be wealthy by our standards, but I’ve seen both obscene, ill-gotten wealth and crushing poverty, and this isn’t either of those.
This is a case of those who are not very well off when compared to their fellow Americans whining because they’re only 1000 times richer than the truly poor around the world. No American goes hungry because there is no food for those who cannot afford to buy it. Maybe you’re not eating steak and potatoes every night, but you’re not having to sit and watch your children slowly starve to death. No American goes without better health care than the middle class in most of the rest of the industrial world gets because they can’t afford health insurance. Maybe you don’t get the latest treatments or fanciest procedures, but they’ll keep your butt alive. No American child goes without at least a rudimentary education so long as their parents give a damn and make sure they study.
My point is that I’m tired of hearing people whine. If I had the power, I’d take each and every one of these class-baiting twits to the real world and let them see what poverty really looks like. I’d show them people who come from huts made out of garbage who are working their tails off to get out of that hut. I’d show them women who have to carry weapons every day, not so they don’t have their purse stolen, but so that they’re not kidnapped and raped. I’d show them graveyards full of the people who tried to make things better, but were rewarded with a bullet in the head for their trouble.
Then I’d show them the poorest of the poor here in America, a place that gives away free food, shelter, clothing, education, medical help, and just about anything else a person needs in order to not only stay alive, but to thrive and become a producing member of society if they would only care enough to do it.
Then, I would dare them to try to say that even the ‘poor’ in America aren’t doing pretty good. I’d dare them to show me the thousands of children who are dieing of diseases that can be cured with a dollar’s worth of medicine. I’d dare them to show me the millions of children who aren’t going to school because they have to work as hard as an adult to stay alive. I’d dare them to show me the graves of the people who die from mal-nourishment in America.
Then I’d laugh in their face as they try to come up with examples, because there aren’t any. Generations of Americans have bled into our soil so that these problems stayed away, and we continue to do so now.
If we don’t wake up, we are going to lose the ethics of hard work, self-reliance, and ingenuity that have been all that has kept us from sliding back into the morasse that our fore-fathers sailed across oceans to get away from. Our ancestors didn’t come over in steerage or worse so that their grandchildren could demand that others take care of them, and they would be ashamed if they saw how this movement is acting.
As a nation, we are soft. Hard work, ingenuity, and making your own way have fallen out of fashion with not only our young people, but also with their parents, and that scares me. The thought that the world owes you anything is a dangerous honey trap to fall into, and what I see when I see these Occupy people chanting, drumming, begging, and speaking is nothing more than a fly that’s fallen into the pitcher plant.
Now y’all excuse me while I get cleaned up and get to my job. There are thousands of protesters in the streets who are depending on me to provide for them.
*Here’s a hint: if your income is growing, then you’re not really poor. At worst, you’re only being swept along in the wake of the truly prosperous, but your income is getting bigger nonetheless.
Posted by daddybear71 on October 27, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/10/27/blood-is-boiling/







