Yesterday, I wrote about how fortunate I am that my loving wife has chosen me out of what on face value would have been better options.

You see, when we met, I was less than two years post divorce, had three children from two marriages, no money, lived in a dump, and had just moved to Louisville.  Heck, I was still doing stuff for my ex-wife’s mother so that she would loan me her lawnmower and I could mow the lawn of my rental.  My life was work, study, and kids.  My social life was pretty much summed up in the word ‘sleep’.

She, on the other hand, was a beautiful career woman, who owned her own home, travelled pretty much on a whim, and had no responsibilities that interfered with all that.  When we met, she allowed my madness into her life, and madness it has been.

Since we met in 2001, she has stood by my side through:

• Losing her job of over a decade, at least partly because we were dating.
• Taking over a “parental consultant” role of three children, with her presence neither wanted nor welcomed by their mothers
• Almost losing Girlie Bear and Little Bear to a fire, then two months of rather gruesome recovery
• Almost constant guerilla warfare between me and the ex’es, with me doing my best to not retaliate because I don’t want to hurt the children.  She has seen me take abuse and insult without hitting back and I know that gets under her skin.
• Found a way to get me to get diagnosis and treatment for a condition that was slowly pushing me into a world of pain and immobility, then supported me through some ugly side effects from that treatment.
• Having first one, then another of my children move into our home on a full-time basis.  One of them was a joy, the other not so much.
• Four years of almost constant bickering and fighting between Junior and me before he graduated high school and left.

A lot of women would have taken one or two of them as an excuse to break up.  Instead, Irish Woman has been the glue that kept our family together, and has been a steadying and calming influence on me when I’m ready to do something stupid.

And yes, I realize that in some very narrow subjects, I’m smarter than the average bear.  In a lot of other subjects, I’m smarter than some, but can’t hold a candle to others.  When it comes to people skills, especially family relationships, I was a complete idiot when Irish Woman met me.  In the intervening years, she’s smoothed over some of the rough spots, gently taught me how to act like a human being, and shown the patience of a saint.  Yes, I’ve come a long way, but I’m still only a steps away from knuckle dragging most days.  I don’t think I will ever be described as a “people person”, but my darling wife is always willing to look past that, and she has a skill for putting me in my place when I cross a line.

So that’s it.  She’s much more than I deserve, and it never fails to amaze me that I got a second date.  I’m sure that’s not a unique story, but it’s mine.