- From the “Riding Dirty” Department – A man in Georgia was recently cited for distracted driving because he was eating a McDonalds cheeseburger while wending his way down the public thoroughfare. Deputy Fife was quoted as saying “First they eat the double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, then it’s fries, then it’s a double thick Steak ‘n’ Shake milkshake. The next thing you know, they’re all hopped up on McNuggets and Animal Style Double Doubles, and it’ll be chaos in our streets.”
- From the “Responsible Adult” Department – A Louisville school bus driver was fired from her job and charged after she allowed a 12-year-old girl give oral sex to a 17-year-old boy on her bus. Not only was the act done on her bus, but the boy told her about it before he did it, and the act allegedly happened in the seat directly behind the driver while the bus was in motion. And now, kids, you understand why DaddyBear didn’t put up much of a fight when Irish Woman decreed that her son would not be attending public school in Louisville.
- From the “Sports and Other Necessities of Life” Department – The National Football Association has found that 11 out of 12 footballs used by the New England Patriots in the AFC playoff game were deflated at some point. Referees inspect the footballs before the game begins, but somehow these non-standard balls got past the checks or they were altered afterward. If it is found that the Patriots let air out of their balls, they face a fine and possibly the loss of draft picks for next year. However, and please remember that I hope that Tom Brady and Bill Belichick die in horrible Zamboni accidents, I don’t agree that this scandal should change the line-up for the Super Bowl. Tampered-with balls may have had some impact on the game, but the Colts got beaten like a rented mule regardless.
- From the “Holy Writ” Department – Archeologists have beenlooking at the papyrus scraps to wrap some mummies, particularly their masks, to find out what was written on them. Apparently Crazy Abdul’s Discount Mummification and Body Shop recycled paper to wrap their 99 Shekel specials, and the writing on the paper can be read after the mummies are unwrapped. Texts found so far include snippets of classics, personal letters, and what is believed to be the earliest known version of the Gospel of Saint Mark. Even more exciting, to this author, is a passage that says “The Lord said unto Thomas: I hunger, my friend. If thou wouldst fly, I shall buy. I desire a Double Double, Animal Style, two orders of fries, and a large Coke.”
- From the “Bad Ideas” Department – A man in New York wasarrested recently when he decided to demolish his home without telling his wife or removing her things from the house. Apparently Captain Success also didn’t have the utilities shut off before beginning his demolition, because police had to call crews in to disconnect the power, water, and gas. He is out on bail, while his wife is advertising on-line for a fishing boat and a concrete contractor.
- From the “Science!” Department – Researchers have successfully programmed a robot to emulate, both physically and programatically, the brain of a worm. The robot senses things in front of it, moves itself independently, and senses food and other stimuli. Scientists say that they are 20 to 30 percent of the way to their goal, which is for the worm to seek out a mate and run for elected office on the Green Party ticket.
- From the “Stupid Is As Stupid Does” Department – A crime victim in Louisville recently made the police’s job much easier when she saw someone wearing her stolen jewelry during a court appearance. It appears that Ms. Brainiac attended her pre-trial hearing for receiving stolen goods while wearing stolen goods. In unrelated news, a man under indictment for trafficking in drugs showed up for court with baggies of cocaine hanging out of his pockets, and an arson suspect brought a can of kerosene with him, just in case.
News Roundup
Posted by daddybear71 on January 21, 2015
https://daddybearsden.com/2015/01/21/news-roundup-243/
100 Years On – Bombs over Britain
On January 19, 1915, a German Zeppelin raid against two cities in Great Britain brought a taste of what was to come, both in the First World War and the Second. While casualties and damage were limited, but the impact on morale was pronounced. Rumors of spies and secret bases swirled, and with no effective air raid shelters, everyone must have gone to bed wondering if tonight was the night.
Germany followed up the January attacks with multiple raids on London and other military and industrial cities in Great Britain and France throughout the war, using both Zeppelins and airplanes. While they did damage, the effectiveness of these attacks was arguable, at best.
Strategic bombing in the age before guided bombs or even effective bomb sights was wildly inaccurate, so stating a militarily necessary target was more of a formality. It must have been a given that in order to attack a given target, some amount of civilian deaths would have to be planned. Even in this age of laser and GPS-guided bombs and missiles, non-combatants get hurt or killed. The difference is, to me, that modern planners do what they can to reduce the risks to those who should not be harmed.
Posted by daddybear71 on January 19, 2015
https://daddybearsden.com/2015/01/19/100-years-on-bombs-over-britain/
Musings
- I took Boo to an event titled “Squirrel Appreciation Day” today. It consisted of activities meant to educate young children about squirrels and their place in our forests. It was entertaining and interesting, and Boo’s favorite part was the nature walk to spot squirrels and their nests. By which I mean a death march with toddlers through the park looking for rodents who were smart enough to get away from the horde of kids walking through their neighborhood.
- The ground hog, which the lady from the local wildlife rescue group brought to show to the kids, was anxious to get out of his carrier. That is, of course, until he was faced with a room chock full of kids from ages 18 months to 8 years old. After that, his fight or flight instinct kicked in.
- I can’t be sure, but I’m pretty sure the pizza buffet I took Boo to for lunch lost money on the deal. In related news, I think we’re entering another growth spurt.
- I set up a Disney song playlist on our favorite music streaming service today. I’m not sure why I hate myself so much.
- Half of the songs in the first hour were from Frozen.
- Hearing protection didn’t help when Girlie Bear and Boo were singing along at the top of their lungs.
- You know your house is a little crazy when your wife texts you to say that she’s taking a nap in the car.
- There are few things more blood chilling than hearing your wife say “I know what you can do for the next three days!” when you are taking a week off.
Posted by daddybear71 on January 19, 2015
https://daddybearsden.com/2015/01/19/musings-109/
News Roundup
- From the “Your Tax Dollars At Work” Department – The Washington Post is reporting that the Ebola treatment centers set up as part of President Obama’s $750 million effort to combat the disease in Africa are unused, and several, and several of them may be shut down. It appears that this is another effort that probably would have been more productive if the money had just been set on fire for the heat. In related news, the administration is requesting funding for relief to Iceland to support efforts to recover from volcanic eruptions that shut down European air travel.
- From the “Justice” Department – OK, you’re a CCW carrier, and you go to a friend’s house. There, you drink a few refreshing adult beverages, probably more than you should have, and certainly more than you should while carrying a firearm. You then compound that bad decision by getting behind the wheel. Let’s say that for some reason, during your drive home, you end up stopped with an other driver. During that time, you get in a scuffle with said other driver, and you end up shooting him in the leg. What charges do you think you would face, and do you think a jury would convict you of them? If you’re a former Louisville police officer, you get charged with DUI and wanton endangerment, then get off with a fine for the DUI and a “have a nice day” for shooting someone in the leg while under the influence. Now, I’m not saying that you give up your right to self-defense because you get a little drunk. What I am saying is that you ought to use your head when you know you’re going to go out drinking. First, have a designated driver, and that person can also be your designated carrier. Yes, you can be a totally rational, intelligent person after you’ve had a few drinks, and in some places it’s perfectly legal to have a beer or two with your dinner while carrying. But even if it’s legal, I have no doubt that a prosecuting attorney or plaintiff’s counsel will bring it up at trial, and the demon rum is an easy cudgel with which to beat the jury. Don’t make the lawyers’ job easier?
- From the “Worth the Assbeating” Department – Jokesters recently got the better of several LAPD officers when the “trunk full of coke” they admitted to consisted of soft drinks, not instant twit powder. While the officers on the scene smiled and shook hands, LAPD leadership has removed the stick up their backsides, examined it, and decided that this was a waste of police resources and warned that anyone who repeats it will be cited. Since LAPD leadership has been a joke for decades, I guess they can’t recognize humor when they see it.
- From the “On The Road Again” Department – A security guard at an Israeli zoo lost his job the other day when he allowed three female rhinos to escape while he took a nap. The animals were quickly corralled and returned to the park with no harm done. Republican leadership is interviewing the trio as possible 2016 candidates.
Posted by daddybear71 on January 19, 2015
https://daddybearsden.com/2015/01/19/news-roundup-241/
Musings
- A chilly morning, a bright sun, and a pocket full of .38 wadcutters is a great way to start a day.
- Today’s match was for “Backup Guns”. I took a 5 shot Taurus snub nose .38. I did pretty well, but I was far from the fastest and most accurate.
- I really dislike people who are the reason the term “This is why we can’t have nice things”. If the range rules are to not shoot the steel targets with centerfire rifles, then don’t shoot the steel targets with centerfire rifles.
- I am not allowed to tell Boo that the song “Hakuna Matata” includes the lyrics “It’s our problem free….. colostomy!”.
- On a related note, I wonder if any truly creative drill sergeant has ever forced a company of young men to march while singing the refrain from “Be A Man“. If so, I wish they would put video of it up on the Internet.
- We went for a nice walk this afternoon. At the start of the trail, Boo was practically pulling us along because we were going too slow. By the end, we were taking Boo for a drag. I’d have carried him if he weren’t so darned big.
Posted by daddybear71 on January 17, 2015
https://daddybearsden.com/2015/01/17/musings-108/
Today’s Earworm
My Christmas season support ends tonight. For once, I’m a happy guy.
Posted by daddybear71 on January 16, 2015
https://daddybearsden.com/2015/01/16/todays-earworm-601/
My Alphabet
A is for Apfelkorn, cold and tart and warming
B is for Bourbon, and that’s good enough for me.
C is for coffee, as strong and sweet as Irish Woman
D is for drama, which I’ve had enough of, thank you.
E is for eggs, with which you serve bacon.
F is for frozen, like my favorite part of the year
G is for Glock, the McDonald’s of the firearms industry.
H is for Hoppes, the sweet smell of clean.
I is for incorrigible, which is how Irish Woman describes me
J is for jerk, which I can be sometimes
K is for Kroil, getting down in all the nooks and crannies of my guns.
L is for lightweight, which is why I don’t drink very much
M is for Mosin, my favorite rifle.
N is for Nagant, see above, unless you have one of those revolvers.
O is for over-caffeinated, which has been my state since before Thanksgiving
P is for pizza, which isn’t for breakfast anymore.
Q is for quiet, which I hope to appreciate again once the kids move out of the house or I lose my hearing, whichever comes first.
R is for revolver, which is both a great album and one of my gunny fascinations.
S is for smoke, curling up and around the meat in my barbecue.
T is for tequila. Oh, Lord, make the pain stop.
U is for unprepared, which is my state every time I sit down to write.
V is for vodka, clear and pure and evil.
W is for Wolf, as dirty as day old sin.
X is for ex-wife, an irritation that will disappear from my life someday
Y is for yesterday, which sometimes seems so long ago.
Z is for zilch, which is the balance in my gun fund these days.
Posted by daddybear71 on January 16, 2015
https://daddybearsden.com/2015/01/16/my-alphabet/
Blogs Roundup
- Heroditus Huxley has some good advice for people just starting out or starting over.
- There are times I regret not gutting it out and retiring from the Army. Then I read things like this.
- Borepatch summarizes my sentiments exactly. If any party wants my vote, they must give me a candidate that I want to vote for. I’m done with voting for the lesser of two evils. Presented with John Jackson and Jack Johnson, I will either refuse to vote in that race or vote for someone else entirely. 2016 is up for grabs, and if the Republicans make it a repeat of 2008, I for one will be ready for another Democrat president.
- Get ready for the Internet of bad things.
- I like the way this doctor thinks. If you don’t want to vaccinate, so be it, but I don’t think Boo will be playing with your kids. I’m not going to risk his health and that of the rest of the family because you get your medical advice from a bimbo.
- The Revolutions Podcast Fundraiser is going on for a few more days. There’s an audiobook available, some neat tee shirts, and some good books if you’ve got the coin.
- Brigid is working on another book, and her first chapter makes me wish she’d hurry up.
Posted by daddybear71 on January 15, 2015
https://daddybearsden.com/2015/01/15/blogs-roundup-57/
Suggestions
1. You get an Oscar! You get an Oscar! Everybody gets an Oscar!
Apparently, the latest kerfluffle to come out of Hollywood is the slate of actors, actresses, and directors nominated for an Academy Award. Somehow, the slate came out more of a beige color this year, which seems to be relatively rare, and that has caused a lot of sad pandas. Apparently, the actor who played Martin Luther King, Jr., in “Selma” wasn’t nominated for best actor, nor was the director of that movie, who is a carrier of the double X chromosome pair with recent ancestors from Africa. However, it should be noted that “Selma” was nominated for both best picture and for a music award.
Now, I don’t think I’m saying anything too controversial when I state that there are many supremely talented artists in the entertainment industry whose ancestors did not primarily come from Europe. Whether they act, write, direct, compose, or whatever, they are out there. It just seems that, this year, the people who vote for who gets nominated and who wins didn’t feel that they made the cut. I guess the successful artists in Hollywood who feel they were snubbed will just have to go home and wipe away their tears with $100 bills.
For the rest of y’all who seem miffed that the Academy couldn’t find someone who isn’t as white as the driven snow to nominate, here’s my suggestion: Quit supporting the industry until they start doing things the way you want them done. Quit buying tickets to the shows. Quit renting or streaming the movies and soundtracks. Quit giving the industry money if you don’t like the way the industry is treating actors who aren’t alabaster. Once the pocketbook starts to hurt, they’ll do it your way. If you complain about this kind of thing for a week or so, then go to see the latest reboot of Spiderthingie or “Fast and Furious XIII: If You Can’t Find It, Grind It!”, you’re just wasting precious electrons.
2. Charlie Hebdo and the Rosary Factory
It would appear that Pope Francis is a supporter of free expression, but also believes that the bar for limiting that speech is pretty low. You see, the Pontiff says that society should limit speech that would “provoke” others, or “insult” their faith. What I get from the Pope’s remarks is that the limit of speech should be where it makes others feel icky, or maybe even causes them to take a look at their beliefs and see if criticism of it is valid. Francis went on to explain that if his assistant insulted his mother, he would hit him, so I guess the answer to speech that insults someone is violence. So much for turning the other cheek.
Here’s my suggestion to the Holy Father: Take your opinion, fold it a few times, and shove it. Yes, the pictures of Mohammed, the Pope, Jews, and whoever else Charlie Hebdo put on its cover and in its pages tended to be boorish, rude, and disrespectful, but I think that was kind of the point. I’ve seen them, I don’t care for them, and I certainly won’t be paying any money to own them. But to suggest that we should limit even the most obnoxious political, satirical, or social commentary is beyond the pale. Here’s an idea: why don’t you and the head of the Catholic League take a break, go read the United States Constitution, the French Declaration of the Rights of Man, and the United Nations Declaration of Human Rights, then come back and explain why your reaction to this is basically to say that a person should watch who they criticize, or they just might wake up with a bullet in their head, which I guess is more modern than burning at the stake.
3. Good For Them
Papa John’s Pizza has announced that the company will not be firing a delivery driver who used a firearm to protect her life when she was robbed during a pizza delivery. Instead, the woman is going to be reassigned to a position in the restaurant and offered counseling. The company has a policy against carrying a firearm on the job, and she was at risk of termination for defending her life with an effective tool. My suggestion on this one is that we all send a note to Papa John’s praising them for this action, and to consider giving them a little business the next time we order pizza.
Posted by daddybear71 on January 15, 2015
https://daddybearsden.com/2015/01/15/suggestions/
Today’s Earworm
Posted by daddybear71 on January 14, 2015
https://daddybearsden.com/2015/01/14/todays-earworm-600/
DaddyBear
DaddyBear’s Den 