Leif Erickson sailed across the sub-Arctic seas in a small open-top boat with a bunch of cantankerous Scandinavians and landed and settled on one of the garden spots of northern Newfoundland 500 years before Columbus.

Gee, must be rough landing on a tropical paradise after sailing across the ocean in a boat with a roof.

Dear Alarm Companies,

Please stop using the same tone and cadence for your door alarms as the military uses for chemical weapons detectors.

I may have a bruise on my thigh from reaching for a pro mask that isn’t there. Yes, Pavlov was right, and good training lasts a lifetime.

Having hot air balloons buzz the back yard is one of the benefits of where we live.

If you’ve been around the blogs at all in the last month, you’ll have heard about Kilted to Kick Cancer.  This worthy effort to draw attention and funds to research on cancers that strike men is one of those that should ring true to everyone.  Either you’re a man who is at risk for prostate and testicular cancer, or you’re a woman with a husband, father, brother, or friend who is.  The 2012 campaign is ticking towards its end, and the time to donate is now.

Lots of great people have links up on their blogs that give you an opportunity to either donate to the LiveStrong organization or the Prostate Cancer Society.  If you’re of a mind to do so, and you have a few extra bucks to donate toward a worthy cause, please consider hitting one of them to make a donation.

And hey, in addition to the warm and fuzzy you’ll get for putting your filthy lucre toward something other than strong drink and things that go bang, several of them are running drawings for donors.  In exchange for doing something good, you get the chance to win stuff.  There also seems to be a….. healthy* competition going on.  If I read this right, if Stingray wins, he will get his nether regions waxed.  Jay pledges to shave his mustache, while AD promises to shave half of his.  Evyl Robot promises to go to the range in drag and take video, while his lovely wife Jennifer seems to have a catsuit of some kind that will be donned if he wins.  OldNFO is also in on the campaign, but I see that he has the good sense to not try to compete with the craziness I mentioned.  There are a lot of others who are joining in, so check the main page of your favorite blogs.  If you’re one of the bloggers with a banner up for KTKC and I haven’t mentioned you, please feel free to post in comments.

So, pick your poison and give toward a cause that touches all of us.

*If we define “healthy” as a series of escalating and insane “Oh yeah?  Well I can go a couple of steps further!” back and forths.

Break your probation for a non-violent financial crime and no-one does anything but fill out paperwork.

Break your probation for a non-violent financial crime, have no-one do anything for a while, and then do something that is used as an excuse for people to riot and murder, thereby making the administration look like a bunch of fools?  Well, then your probation officer and the local police are going to haul you in for a hearing and put your butt behind bars again.

The guy’s not as pure as the driven snow by any means.  He’s a convicted felon who by all accounts was indeed violating his probation rules.  But the fact that no-one did anything about it until his actions brought embarrassment on the Obama administration is troubling.

Let’s say you have a C&R FFL, which means that you have to keep a bound book.  Or maybe you live in a state that requires a license to own a firearm, such as Massachusetts.  Then you do something that makes the president look bad, and all of a sudden the ATF or local sheriff is on your front door wanting to see your documents and guns, and they proceed to go through your life with a flashlight and a pair of tweezers.  Is that just?

When the power of the government is used to silence a citizen or punish him for making waves, that is tyranny.

To the gentleman who cooked our food at Humping Pandas Chinese restaurant tonight:

Sir, you, among all of the people who have cooked Sechuan for us over the years, are the only one who knew what “extra spicy” means. Our dinner tonight got me sweating, and left a wonderful burn afterward.
In recognition of your skill, I propose that we merge our families. I offer a blonde, blue-eyed boy in exchange for the hand of your adorable daughter. He shall bring height and strength. She can contribute her beauty and any culinary skills you choose to pass on.
Think of the big; strapping, well-fed grandchildren this pairing would bring us.
I look forward to your response.

Sincerely,

Daddy J. Bear
Glutton

I finally decided to make an honest blog out of the old girl. Now, she’s got her own URL and everything.  From now on, you can get here just by going to http://daddybearsden.com.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but The Princess Bride was released 25 years ago today.

Inconceivable!!!!

My laptop is in the shop for the next few days, so not a lot will get put up until then. Sorry, but blogging from the phone is still a pain See y’all in a couple of days.