The Marines got this.
We got Dave Matthews whining about a breakup.
There is no justice in this world this side of the grave.
Today’s Earworm
Posted by daddybear71 on March 7, 2026
https://daddybearsden.com/2026/03/07/todays-earworm-976/
Persian Gulf Shanty
There once was a ship that put to sea
The name of the ship was the Shahid Bagheri,
The ship blew up, her bow dipped down
Oh, blow, torpedo boys, blow!
—
Soon may a submarine come
And blow us all to kingdom come!
One day, when the sinking is done
We’ll swim to shore and go
—
She had just begun to launch her drones
When she was sent to lay with Davey Jones
The crew all cried out in fear
Knew they’d never make it home.
—
Soon may a submarine come
And blow us all to kingdom come!
One day, when the sinking is done
We’ll float to shore and go
—
Just as a missile hit her bow
We knew we were really boned now
All hands to the rafts, jump into the water!
But the boat went down below
—
Soon may a submarine come
And blow us all to kingdom come!
One day, when the sinking is done
We’ll paddle to shore and go
—
No drones were launched, no rockets fired
No infidels found, no targets acquired
Our boat held together with bailing wire
And watch our magazine blow!
—
Soon may a submarine come
And blow us all to kingdom come!
One day, when the sinking is done
We’ll row to shore and go
The Bagheri’s half a league under water
Sent to the bottom by somebody’s daughter
A young lass flying an F-18
Sent our drone ship down below
—
Soon may a submarine come
And blow us all to kingdom come!
One day, when the sinking is done
We’ll drift to shore and go
—
As far as I know, our fleet is gone
Blown to hell before the break of dawn
Tehran won’t accept our calls
And my raft just sprung a leak!
—
Soon may a submarine come
And blow us all to kingdom come!
One day, when the sinking is done
We’ll swim to shore and go
Posted by daddybear71 on March 4, 2026
https://daddybearsden.com/2026/03/04/persian-gulf-shanty/
Attention to Orders
Citation
Chief Warrant Officer Five Eric A. Slover distinguished himself by conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity, above and beyond the call of duty, on January 3, 2026, during a mission in Venezuela, in support of Operation Absolute Resolve. Chief Warrant Officer Five Slover piloted his MH-47 as the lead aircraft of the operation, tasked with executing a highly complex infiltration through hostile Integrated Air Defense Systems to safely deliver military forces. During ingress, Chief Warrant Officer Five Slover skillfully led the helicopter force through a dense jungle valley in a mountainous region, navigating marginal weather conditions, numerous topographical hazards, and near insurmountable surface to air threats. Upon touching down at the designated landing zone, Chief Warrant Officer Five Slover’s aircraft was immediately engaged by multiple machine gun positions at close range. The hostile fire resulted in 15 armor-piercing rounds entering his cockpit, with four rounds striking his leg. Despite the intense and effective enemy fire, and at great personal risk, Chief Warrant Officer Five Slover maintained his situational awareness and aircraft’s position in the line of fire to ensure the safe infiltration of the military forces. After the force disembarked, and despite suffering significant life-threatening injuries, Chief Warrant Officer Five Slover identified hostile heavy machine gun positions that were engaging his aircraft and targeting the ground forces. He maneuvered his aircraft to enable his door gunner to deliver effective fire, successfully neutralizing the threats. Chief Warrant Officer Five Slover’s heroic actions undoubtedly saved countless American lives and ensured the complete and overwhelming success of the mission. His gallantry under fire and extraordinary valor are in keeping with the highest traditions of military service and reflect great credit upon himself and the United States Army.
Posted by daddybear71 on February 28, 2026
https://daddybearsden.com/2026/02/28/attention-to-orders-17/
Today’s Earworm
Posted by daddybear71 on February 26, 2026
https://daddybearsden.com/2026/02/26/todays-earworm-975/
News Roundup
From the “Let My People Go” Department – Residents and tourists in the Canary Islands are dealing with a swarm of locusts. The multilegged visitors apparently hopped over from the Sahara due to the weather in the vacation spot. Local authorities are breaking out the frog gigs and eclipse glasses, just in case. In unrelated news, Southern California seems to be dealing with an abundance of mosquitoes at the moment. I guess the Good Lord decided to smite somebody who deserves it, for once.
From the “Shifting Strategies” Department – Several wine companies in Northern California have either cut back production or outright closed wineries. As the percentage of adults who regularly drink alcohol continues to decline, I expect to see more and more purveyors of mid-grade grape flavored hooch meander into the sunset. Interestingly enough, Gallo just bought a bourbon company near here. I guess when one door closes, another opens. In this case, it just opens another path for customers to stumble down while singing “Seven Spanish Angels” at 2:30 in the morning.
From the “Meet the New Boss” Department – The Louvre, recently robbed in broad daylight, has announced a new director after its previous leadership was guillotined fired. The new chef du chaud has been tasked with overseeing renovations, improving security, and sweeping out his predecessors extensive collection of large shoes and red rubber noses. All of this will be, of course, paid by ticket sales, once they figure out who has all the money from the past decade’s worth of tickets.
From the “Watch Your Lanes” Department – An Amazon delivery vehicle has been recovered safely after it got stuck in the mud on a British military firing range. The driver blamed GPS directions for his errant routing. Sources indicate that local lance corporals have been spotted wearing new watches and high-end sneakers while carrying several cases of energy drinks and toilet paper into their barracks in muddy uniforms. An inquiry by His Majesty’s government is expected to be held to look into deficient marksmanship.
Posted by daddybear71 on February 25, 2026
https://daddybearsden.com/2026/02/25/news-roundup-269/
Shorn, Not Skinned
I’ve been watching the news about proposed tax increases in New York and California. Unsurprisingly, these are targeted at wealthy people and businesses, as seems to be normal operating procedures for states that find themselves drowning in red ink. Said red ink appears, again unsurprisingly, to have originated in exorbitant spending on things that keep the poor from burning things down and the rich writing campaign donation checks.
To quote the emperor Tiberius – “It is the duty of a good shepherd to shear his sheep, not to skin them.” Telling folks, who have the means to pick up and leave when they feel like it, that they are going to have to pay even more for the privilege of living in a congested hellscape reminiscent of something out of a 1980’s “decade after next” dystopian action-thriller is a great motivator move all of their assets outside of your reach.
Everyone hates taxes when they’re applied to them. Something as small as a 1% increase in sales tax or adding a bit to the cost of a pack of cigarettes or a six-pack usually becomes a political hot potato, even if the stated reason for the increase is something everyone wants.
Here in Kentucky, it seems to go this way:
“We need to raise taxes because the high school is using history textbooks from 1976.”
“Don’t tax my soda and candy bar! Tax smokes instead!”
“Tobacco built this state! Tax booze instead!”
“Bourbon keeps the lights on in the Commonwealth! Tax everyone richer than me!”
In California and New York, it’s “Make the wealthy pay their fair share!” time again. Amazingly enough, the line where “middle-class” becomes “wealthy” always seems to be slightly above where the politicians sit on the economic scale.
Look, I’m not a millionaire, much less a billionaire. But even I see red when I do my tax forms every spring and see just how much of my salary goes toward whatever the folks in Frankfort and DC think are important. Yes, the rich can afford to get lawyers and accountants involved and reduce their percentage paid to Uncle Sam and all his minions. However, in real dollar terms, they pay a huge amount of what keeps the lights on in learing centers.
They eat a lot of grass, but look how much wool they give us!
So, the trick for these states and cities is to tax the rich as much as they can bear without heading for the exit. How much that is depends on your local breed of billionaire, but the nightlife in New York and the great weather in California are a huge draw. If you make them too expensive, no amount of dance clubs or sunset dinners on the beach are worth a fraction of your wealth that can be worked out in your head.
Remember, children, nothing is truly free. Somebody has to pay for bribes and boondoggles free subways and high-speed rail, generous-ish economic opiates that keep their addicts just this side of starving in the cold social services, and wasteful job programs for the politically loyal world-class public education.
If you demonize and punish your highest-producing sheep, don’t be surprised when they pack up their wool and find another flock.
Posted by daddybear71 on February 20, 2026
https://daddybearsden.com/2026/02/20/shorn-not-skinned/
Public Service Announcement
Hi, y’all! Just a quick admin note.
I’ve decided to start weening myself off of this platform and move over to Substack. Not going to completely stop posting here, but when my current year’s contract with WordPress ends, I’ll be folding tents here.
I already post some things over there that aren’t here, and most everything I post here ends up being posted over there.
My substack is https://tomrogneby.substack.com/.
Hope to see y’all over there!
Posted by daddybear71 on February 17, 2026
https://daddybearsden.com/2026/02/17/public-service-announcement/
Today’s Earworm
Posted by daddybear71 on February 14, 2026
https://daddybearsden.com/2026/02/14/todays-earworm-946/
News Roundup
From the “Kachoo!” Department – The National Park Service predicts that Death Valley could go through a rare ‘superbloom’ this spring. All of the factors necessary for the desert to burst forth with pollen flowers have lined up in recent months, so I expect to start seeing panoramic pictures of valleys carpeted in allergies flowers to blanket social media. This phenomenon will likely be followed by the Great Yellowish Green Cloud that will inundate either Los Angeles or Las Vegas a week after all of the flowers dry up and die.
From the “Symbolism” Department – A crown, previously worn by the wife of Napoleon III, was damaged during a recent robbery at the Louvre. The crown, now dented and broken, is expected to be repaired and put back on display. European institutions expect to put in about 10% of the cost of reconstruction, but are waiting on reception of funding and material support from the United States before starting work. If you’re looking for an allegory for European sovereignty and government, here it is. Hopefully, while they’re repairing the crown, Europe can repair its collective spine.
From the “What a Country” Department – A Russian standup-comic was recently sentenced to several years in prison and a fine for two jokes. The first joke had to do with a legless skateboarder, while the other appears to have poked fun at Christian symbolism. Who would have thought that an autocratic government, which admires and emulates Stalin’s methods for dealing with dissent, wrongthink, and just looking at them weird, would harshly punish someone for, possibly, tasteless jokes. Mr. Ostanin will have a lot of time to work on material for his next one-man show, which this reporter has heard will be named “Boy, Did I Misread The Room”.
From the “Tenure” Department – A 90 year old teacher in Michigan was awarded a Guinness World Record recently. The young-at-heart English teacher is being celebrated for 67 years, and counting, in teaching. I applaud this young lady for her tenacity and grit, and suggest that all who read this contact the Nobel committee. Anyone who puts up with teenagers for 67 years deserves a Peace Prize.
From the “Roll Out the Barrel” Department – A Wisconsin highway was recently closed when a semi-truck dropped 264 barrels of God’s real purpose for grain onto the roadway. Local officials spent several hours getting all 192 barrels cleaned up and transported to a safe location. No word yet on what will be the ultimate fate of the 96 barrels of beer, but sources say that the home opener for the Milwaukee Brewers is going to be, in the words of a sheriff’s deputy, ‘lit’.
From the “Winged Hussars” Department – Wildlife officials in Poland recently rescued an escaped emu. The feathered friend was frightened by fireworks and had hidden in the forest. The heroic bird is being sped to Vienna, where it plans on a spring and summer of training and enjoying nature before its big day in November.
From the “Yawn” Department – A flock of sheep recently invaded a grocery store in rural Germany. The wooly ragamuffins went into the store in search of snacks, but stayed because they liked the inclusion of both Rammstein and Mozart in the store’s muzak. Local authorities describe the experience as tiring, and plan to give a full press conference once they wake up from their afternoon naps.
Posted by daddybear71 on February 11, 2026
https://daddybearsden.com/2026/02/11/news-roundup-268/
DaddyBear
DaddyBear’s Den 