- From the “Luck Favors the Prepared” Department – A man in Scotland is recovering after being accidentally shot with bird shot during a hunting accident. Reports are that his injuries were serious but not life threatening, and his thick glasses saved his eyesight. If you needed even more convincing that wearing proper safety equipment was necessary, here you go.
- From the “When It’s Time to Relax” Department – A shipment of beer, 21 tons worth as a matter of fact, was destroyed recently when the truck carrying it got into an accident and spilled its load. This atrocity was caused by the driver of another vehicle who lost control of his vehicle, and I hope he’s happy with himself. Those baby beers never had a chance to reach their full hoppy goodness. In memory of those beers who died before their time, tonight, I will be imbibing in one of their cousins. Go in peace, little pilseners, for you shall be remembered.
- From the “Curbstomp” Department – An Illinois man is in critical condition and is being aided in breathing with a machine after a crowd of people who witnessed his alleged shooting of another man laid a beating on him that will long be remembered. I’m not advocating vigilantism here, but… Well, yeah, maybe I’m advocating vigilantism a tad when I say that if more punks who shot up their neighborhoods were beaten by their neighbors, maybe there would actually be a deterrent from being a punk who shoots up his neighborhood. Maybe they don’t need as severe a beatdown as this young man got, but the prospect of getting kneecapped with an old man’s cane might be a better deterrent than possibly spending a couple of years in the prison with your school chums.
- From the “I Don’t Want to Know” Department – A Georgia man is under arrest after being found drunk and semi-nude in a room where two research monkeys were running amok. No word yet on exactly what the man was up to, but to be honest, that’s a piece of information I don’t need.
- From the “Facepalm” Department – Police in Sweden are searching for a vicious dog that terrorized a neighborhood. Was the dog one of those breeds whose very existence makes strong men shake in their boots? Nope, it was a chihuahua. That’s right, friends and neighbors, a neighborhood was held hostage by the viciousness of a dog that shakes when it sits still. To my Swedish friends who are recovering from this traumatic experience, I have these kind words to offer: Guys, what in the name of Freya’s braided armpit hair is wrong with you? Our ancestors were a scourge upon mankind. Their reign of terror stretched from Scandinavia to the Bosphorus. They must be laughing their butts off in Valhalla over you not being willing to placekick a rowdy purse rat with a bad attitude. Y’all, please show a little intestinal fortitude the next time this fuzzy terror shows its face, or I’m going to have to take back your Viking credentials.
- From the “Headdesk” Department – Congressman Todd Akin of Missouri recently demonstrated his skill at putting his Florscheims into his upper gastro-intestinal tract when he claimed that a “legitimate rape” could not lead to pregnancy, thereby justifying his position against abortions, even for victims of rape. The candidate for one of the Senate seats from Missouri, which is currently held by a Democrat, has apologized publicly for his words, but refuses to drop out of the race in place of someone with a better shot at winning. In related news, several organizations that support Republican candidates have announced that they will have extra money to spend elsewhere, since spending money to get this genius elected would be like spitting on a fish.
- From the “Stupidity Knows No Party” Department – A Minnesota lawmaker is resisting calls for him to drop his reelection race after being caught having sex with a 17-year-old boy at a rest area. Apparently no criminal charges are pending, but my guess is he’s not going to be welcome at the state Democratic potlucks anymore. Nothing says “Hey, I’m a dumbass!” like being caught out in risky, sleazy sexual behavior during a relatively sure-thing re-election bid in a year where your party is trying to retake the legislature.
All posts by daddybear71
News Roundup
Posted by daddybear71 on August 22, 2012
https://daddybearsden.com/2012/08/22/news-roundup-148/
Thought for the Evening
I’m looking at my latest bill for my arthritis medicine, and I’m pretty sure it says that a three month supply costs three unicorn tears, a baby fart captured in amber, and the still warm tooth of a Hawaiian fire gecko. Thank goodness I have my health insurance through Merlin Mutual, a name people have trusted since Galahad was just a lad.
Posted by daddybear71 on August 21, 2012
https://daddybearsden.com/2012/08/21/thought-for-the-evening/
30 Days of Abraham Lincoln – Day 18
The true rule, in determining to embrace, or reject any thing, is not whether it have any evil in it; but whether it have more of evil, than of good. There are few things wholly evil, or wholly good. Almost every thing, especially of governmental policy, is an inseparable compound of the two; so that our best judgment of the preponderance between them is continually demanded. — Speech in Congress, 1848
My Take – Nothing we do is 100% good or bad. The trick is to try to only do the things that do more good than ill. I don’t expect my politicians to be saints, but I do expect them to be honest about their flaws and not be stupid. When someone comes to you with some proposal, you have to ask three questions – Who benefits? Who will be harmed? What’s the end goal? If they can’t give you a satisfactory answer to all three of those questions, and quickly at that, they either don’t know what they’re doing or they’re hiding something. It’s up to you to figure out which one.
Posted by daddybear71 on August 21, 2012
https://daddybearsden.com/2012/08/21/30-days-of-abraham-lincoln-day-18/
Today’s Earworm
Happy Birthday, Girlie Bear.
Oh yeah, enjoy your first day of high school. I promise that if the entire freshman class sings Happy Birthday to you, I had nothing to do with it.
Posted by daddybear71 on August 21, 2012
https://daddybearsden.com/2012/08/21/todays-earworm-211/
What I Meant
Yesterday, I wrote about how fortunate I am that my loving wife has chosen me out of what on face value would have been better options.
You see, when we met, I was less than two years post divorce, had three children from two marriages, no money, lived in a dump, and had just moved to Louisville. Heck, I was still doing stuff for my ex-wife’s mother so that she would loan me her lawnmower and I could mow the lawn of my rental. My life was work, study, and kids. My social life was pretty much summed up in the word ‘sleep’.
She, on the other hand, was a beautiful career woman, who owned her own home, travelled pretty much on a whim, and had no responsibilities that interfered with all that. When we met, she allowed my madness into her life, and madness it has been.
Since we met in 2001, she has stood by my side through:
- Losing her job of over a decade, at least partly because we were dating.
- Taking over a “parental consultant” role of three children, with her presence neither wanted nor welcomed by their mothers
- Almost losing Girlie Bear and Little Bear to a fire, then two months of rather gruesome recovery
- Almost constant guerilla warfare between me and the ex’es, with me doing my best to not retaliate because I don’t want to hurt the children. She has seen me take abuse and insult without hitting back and I know that gets under her skin.
- Found a way to get me to get diagnosis and treatment for a condition that was slowly pushing me into a world of pain and immobility, then supported me through some ugly side effects from that treatment.
- Having first one, then another of my children move into our home on a full-time basis. One of them was a joy, the other not so much.
- Four years of almost constant bickering and fighting between Junior and me before he graduated high school and left.
A lot of women would have taken one or two of them as an excuse to break up. Instead, Irish Woman has been the glue that kept our family together, and has been a steadying and calming influence on me when I’m ready to do something stupid.
And yes, I realize that in some very narrow subjects, I’m smarter than the average bear. In a lot of other subjects, I’m smarter than some, but can’t hold a candle to others. When it comes to people skills, especially family relationships, I was a complete idiot when Irish Woman met me. In the intervening years, she’s smoothed over some of the rough spots, gently taught me how to act like a human being, and shown the patience of a saint. Yes, I’ve come a long way, but I’m still only a steps away from knuckle dragging most days. I don’t think I will ever be described as a “people person”, but my darling wife is always willing to look past that, and she has a skill for putting me in my place when I cross a line.
So that’s it. She’s much more than I deserve, and it never fails to amaze me that I got a second date. I’m sure that’s not a unique story, but it’s mine.
Posted by daddybear71 on August 21, 2012
https://daddybearsden.com/2012/08/21/what-i-meant/
30 Days of Abraham Lincoln – Day 17
I have now come to the conclusion never again to think of marrying, and for this reason; I can never be satisfied with anyone who would be blockhead enough to have me. — Letter, 1838
My Take – Sometimes I look at Irish Woman and ask her what she was thinking. Look, I know I’m not the sharpest tack in the box, and I’m sometimes harsh or moody. OK, maybe sometimes is an understatement. There’s not a day that goes by that I’m not surprised that she not only took an interest in me and my brood, but also that she didn’t run screaming into the night.
Posted by daddybear71 on August 20, 2012
https://daddybearsden.com/2012/08/20/30-days-of-abraham-lincoln-day-17/
Today’s Earworm
Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture, first performed on August 20, 1882.
Posted by daddybear71 on August 20, 2012
https://daddybearsden.com/2012/08/20/todays-earworm-210/
Thought for the Day
I really ought to start supporting my local print newspaper more. I mean, you can’t start a barbecue or a fireplace with a web page, now can you?
Posted by daddybear71 on August 20, 2012
https://daddybearsden.com/2012/08/20/thought-for-the-day-164/
Guess What I Did Today
- When it comes time to buy a 9mm, I need to consider the Beretta 92FS. My BIL brought his and it was very nice.
- The failures I had with the new pistol the other day seem to have been due to a lack of proper lubrication. A little Remoil spritzed into the magazines and onto the bolt appears to have fixed it.
- I really like my .357, but a .44 Super Blackhawk like the one I shot today would be a nice addition to my collection when I’m in the mood to start stocking a new caliber.
- I need to get more ammunition. No, I don’t have a problem.
Posted by daddybear71 on August 19, 2012
https://daddybearsden.com/2012/08/19/guess-what-i-did-today/
House Colors
Irish Woman is looking at the website of her favorite paint vendor (yes, she has one of those), and is going through the colors she wants to paint the house. She’s looking at the “International Flair” collection, and here are a few ideas I had for the company:
- Mogadishu Mauve – 40 years of decayed society mixed in with a little dust and smoke
- Sarajevo Sage – A distressed green, with hints of how beautiful it once was and how beautiful it may well be again
- Helsinki Heather – A soft gray, kind of like the sunlight in Finland in December
- Mexico Mocha – A rich chocolate that seems ready to erupt in a violent fountain of color
- Kabul Khaki – This color will make your home look like it’s been bombed back to the Stone Age at least twice
- Pakistan Pine – A vivid green that seems to work well with the darker elements of Kabul Khaki
- Rhodesia Rose – A rather pinkish color which is hard to find on a map nowadays
- Zimbabwe Zucchini – A dark green that does not go at all well with Rhodesia Rose
- Libya Lilac – A soft purple that occasionally interacts very violently with neighboring hues
- Wallaroo Wine – A deep red that reminds you of the outback and good Australian vintages
- Iridescent Italian Ice – The dazzling white you would get from frozen chunks of Hell if Italian drivers ever stopped trying to take each other’s lives
- Thai Titian – The auburn hair of the girl you picked up at the bar in Bangkok. At least, you hope she was female.
Posted by daddybear71 on August 19, 2012
https://daddybearsden.com/2012/08/19/house-colors/
DaddyBear
DaddyBear’s Den 