• Archives

  • Topics

  • Meta

  • The Boogeyman - Working Vacation
  • Coming Home
  • Quest To the North
  • Via Serica
  • Tales of the Minivandians
  • Join the NRA

    Join the NRA!

News Roundup

  • From the “Luck Favors the Prepared” Department – A man in Scotland is recovering after being accidentally shot with bird shot during a hunting accident.  Reports are that his injuries were serious but not life threatening, and his thick glasses saved his eyesight.  If you needed even more convincing that wearing proper safety equipment was necessary, here you go.
  • From the “When It’s Time to Relax” Department – A shipment of beer, 21 tons worth as a matter of fact, was destroyed recently when the truck carrying it got into an accident and spilled its load.  This atrocity was caused by the driver of another vehicle who lost control of his vehicle, and I hope he’s happy with himself.  Those baby beers never had a chance to reach their full hoppy goodness.  In memory of those beers who died before their time, tonight, I will be imbibing in one of their cousins.  Go in peace, little pilseners, for you shall be remembered.
  • From the “Curbstomp” Department – An Illinois man is in critical condition and is being aided in breathing with a machine after a crowd of people who witnessed his alleged shooting of another man laid a beating on him that will long be remembered.  I’m not advocating vigilantism here, but… Well, yeah, maybe I’m advocating vigilantism a tad when I say that if more punks who shot up their neighborhoods were beaten by their neighbors, maybe there would actually be a deterrent from being a punk who shoots up his neighborhood.  Maybe they don’t need as severe a beatdown as this young man got, but the prospect of getting kneecapped with an old man’s cane might be a better deterrent than possibly spending a couple of years in the prison with your school chums.
  • From the “I Don’t Want to Know” Department – A Georgia man is under arrest after being found drunk and semi-nude in a room where two research monkeys were running amok.  No word yet on exactly what the man was up to, but to be honest, that’s a piece of information I don’t need.
  • From the “Facepalm” Department – Police in Sweden are searching for a vicious dog that terrorized a neighborhood.  Was the dog one of those breeds whose very existence makes strong men shake in their boots?  Nope, it was a chihuahua.  That’s right, friends and neighbors, a neighborhood was held hostage by the viciousness of a dog that shakes when it sits still.  To my Swedish friends who are recovering from this traumatic experience, I have these kind words to offer:  Guys, what in the name of Freya’s braided armpit hair is wrong with you?  Our ancestors were a scourge upon mankind.  Their reign of terror stretched from Scandinavia to the Bosphorus.  They must be laughing their butts off in Valhalla over you not being willing to placekick a rowdy purse rat with a bad attitude.  Y’all, please show a little intestinal fortitude the next time this fuzzy terror shows its face, or I’m going to have to take back your Viking credentials.
  • From the “Headdesk” Department – Congressman Todd Akin of Missouri recently demonstrated his skill at putting his Florscheims into his upper gastro-intestinal tract when he claimed that a “legitimate rape” could not lead to pregnancy, thereby justifying his position against abortions, even for victims of rape.  The candidate for one of the Senate seats from Missouri, which is currently held by a Democrat, has apologized publicly for his words, but refuses to drop out of the race in place of someone with a better shot at winning.  In related news, several organizations that support Republican candidates have announced that they will have extra money to spend elsewhere, since spending money to get this genius elected would be like spitting on a fish.
  • From the “Stupidity Knows No Party” Department – A Minnesota lawmaker is resisting calls for him to drop his reelection race after being caught having sex with a 17-year-old boy at a rest area.  Apparently no criminal charges are pending, but my guess is he’s not going to be welcome at the state Democratic potlucks anymore.  Nothing says “Hey, I’m a dumbass!” like being caught out in risky, sleazy sexual behavior during a relatively sure-thing re-election bid in a year where your party is trying to retake the legislature.


  1. After reading the *facepalm* tidbit, all I could think of was this:



  2. a chihuahua??!?? .. seriously a chihuahua?????????? … sorry can’t get past that …


%d bloggers like this: