With apologies to the Beach Boys and the non-geeks out there.

The hardware was made by HP
The OS, by Torvolds and me
Old SourceForge, we did comb
Patching all night
It wouldn’t boot right
Well, I need some coffee
I wanna go $HOME

So, boot up the VMS box
See how the kernel rocks
Call for the NOC to test
Let me go home, SYS$HOME
Where’d I leave my coffee?
I wanna go $HOME

The DBA, he got drunk
Deleted data using trunc
Data Protection had to restore it all from tape
By the eyes of Torvalds,
Why is this subnet firewalled?
Oh, no.
Have you seen my coffee?
I wanna go  $HOME

So, boot up the Solaris box
See how the kernel rocks
Call for the NOC to test
Let me go home,SYS$HOME
Who poured out my coffee?
I wanna go $HOME

The Windows box, it caught a worm
Wouldn’t answer to PowerTerm
Then the AIX, it came crashing down
Let me go $HOME
Why can’t I get to SYS$HOME?
Oh, this is the worst shift, I’ve ever been on.

So, boot up the HP box
See how the kernel rocks
Call for the NOC to test
Let me go home, SYS$HOME
Well, we’re out of coffee
I wanna go $HOME