- From the “I’m Good, Thanks” Department – A distillery in New Hampshire has debuted a new whiskey flavored with “beaver secretions”. Sophomoric humor about which intern got assigned to gather beaver secretions aside, I think I’ll pass. I like my whiskey neat, not musky. While major Kentucky distilleries have made no official comment, this reporter has observed an elderly gentleman at a local establishment push his hat back, cock his head to the side, and utter, “What in tarnation?” upon hearing about the new product.
- From the “I Feel A Disturbance In The Force” Department – In related news, two trucks recently collided on an Arkansas highway, dumping several hundred bottles of Fireball cinnamon whiskey. Officials report a mass gathering of mourning frat boys and party girls near the site. A monument made up of forehead-crushed beer cans, discarded screwtop wine bottles, and empty gallon jugs of bad moonshine is being erected at the site.
- From the “Why We Can’t Have Nice Things” Department – A family in Kansas is on the hook for $132,000 to replace a statue their child destroyed. It appears that the little scamp knocked it over while giving it a hug. Obviously, the person who set the thing up in the first place has never been around small children. When my hellions were small, I had nothing within their reach, meaning less than 17 feet from the floor, that wasn’t made out of titanium, wrought iron, or rubber. Even then, things got mangled in rather creative ways. Ahh, the memories. So much rending of expensive materials, so much damage.
- From the “Unintended Consequences” Department – A restaurant in China has had to close after an all-you-can-eat special caused it to go deep in debt. It seems the management was offering the deal for $19 a month, and customers were loaning their cards out to family and friends. So, basically, it’s Netflix for dim sum. Anyway, I’m reminded of the Korean buffet in Killeen that had to change its lunch policies after a few weeks because the Army guys took “all you can eat” as a challenge. Trust me, you don’t want a Korean grandmother to chase you out of her restaurant because you’ve been grazing for a couple of hours.
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News Roundup
Posted by daddybear71 on June 20, 2018
https://daddybearsden.com/2018/06/20/news-roundup-254/
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DaddyBear
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/ June 20, 2018Yep, strange doings out there… 🙂
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