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  • Irish Woman Word for the Day – Knife Condom
    • The rest of us just use the term “sheath”
  • The fact that the yearly “Don’t be an idiot on the Internet” training hasn’t changed in five or six years tells me that the same tactics that worked five or six years ago are still effective on idiots who use the Internet.
  • If you need me to summarize my problem in an email, why does your problem reporting website require me to summarize my problem before it assigns you to my problem?
  • You know a young man had a good day at camp when he comes home exhausted, sun-kissed to about a medium-rare, covered from head to toe in sand, wet from his armpits down, and stained several shades each of brown, green, and black.
  • Note to self – If the waiter doesn’t bother to tell you how much their special braised tuna and rice dish is when you come in, you have no right to let your eyes bug out when you get the check.
  • Note to dude at the $5 a scoop ice cream place – I just want a cola.  Please don’t look at me like I have lobsters crawling around on my head when I ask for one and all you have is the best artisinal root beer ever made in a bad part of Newark.
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  1. Girlie Bear

     /  July 20, 2017

    You should have known about the root beer. It isn’t as though your daughter worked there for nine months and could give you a detailed description behind the story of said root beer. Heck, that might have been your birthday present that year.

  2. As a lifelong NJ resident and long time reader of your blog I’d like to file a formal complaint. Your statement: “a bad part of Newark.” suggests that there is in fact a good part of Newark. Let me assure you, without question, there isn’t. It’s all bad… trust me.

    Just go with plain o’ Newark… (pronounced: Ne’rk).

  3. Old NFO

     /  July 20, 2017

    Hoo boy, one of those if you have to ask, you can’t afford it meals???

    • Oh, yeah. Irish Woman was smart and ordered off of the menu. I, on the other hand, decided that seared tuna with stir fried vegetables sounded scrumptuous, and hey, it’s the special! How expensive can it get?

  4. R Brown

     /  July 22, 2017

    Knife condom… sure.

    Try to parse “Get the round, square, oval pan out of the pans cabinet.” From my mother. The only problem being, is the entire family knew what pan she meant.

  5. Phssthpok

     /  July 22, 2017

    This being a family blog, I’m pondering if I should point out the Latin for ‘sheath’.


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