• Archives

  • Topics

  • Meta

  • The Boogeyman - Working Vacation
  • Coming Home
  • Quest To the North
  • Via Serica
  • Tales of the Minivandians
  • Join the NRA

    Join the NRA!

Vacation Rules

I’m taking a few days off while the kids are on spring break.  I’ve been informed that my plans for a free-flow, do what feels good week of relaxation are probably not going to come to fruition.  Here are the rules for the week as I understand them:

  1. I am not allowed to spend the week smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo.
  2. Yard work will be done.  Rain is not an excuse.  I am not made of sugar, so I will not melt when I get wet.
  3. Not all animation is appropriate for watching while the children are awake.  Neither are all television shows involving puppets.
  4. Going to the NRAAM for the weekend means that I really don’t need to spend a day at the range this week.
  5. I may not spend the week watching documentaries about Stalin and Hitler and make fun of the interpreters and narrators.
  6. I am not allowed to make a fort out of my poncho liners and the dining room tables and set up a defensive perimeter against the estrogenical foe.
  7. I am not allowed to refer to my wife as “the estrogenical foe”.
  8. I am not allowed to subsist on a diet of beer, coffee, easter eggs, and jelly beans.
Next Post

10 Comments

  1. Sounds like a concentration camp.

  2. Jeremy

     /  April 7, 2015

    What kind of vacation is this?

    • The kind where you fight valiantly to not have any real plans and just try to enjoy each day.

      It’s a struggle, but it’s mine.

      • Jeremy

         /  April 8, 2015

        So…. you’re trying to be your dog? A worthy endeavor.

  3. Steve

     /  April 7, 2015

    Do you need somebody to run interference for ya….so you can do those things?
    Steve

  4. Erin

     /  April 7, 2015

    If you do subsist on a diet of beer, coffee, Easter eggs, and jelly beans, there is a good chance you may melt in the rain. It hasn’t been proven or dis-proven.
    Building a fort out of poncho liners is always a win, but there is a good chance it will be commandeered by the younger and the four-legged. Numbers six and seven made me laugh out loud.
    I may be telling you intel that you already know, but when dealing with estrogenical foes, beware that it can get costly. Usually the most effective methods involve money or time management or both.

  5. You forgot to add meat to your diet: ham, lamb, bacon, ribs, steak…..

    Cheers,
    RD

  6. Oooh! Meet you at the convention? Try to figure out with you, a cell phone loaded with access to yelp, and a good guess where someplace with edible food is close to the convention?

%d bloggers like this: