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Alex, I’ll take Inflation for $100, please

USA Today is reporting that the cost of a typical American Thanksgiving dinner is going up by about 13% this year.  They blame the cost of the commodities to make the meal.  Apparently inflation isn’t just the name of the Armenian guy down the street anymore

But you can’t ask the Fed about it, because they don’t include food or energy in the inflation numbers.  Why would we need to track how much more expensive it is to put food on the table and gas in the car when we’re talking about the economic health of the nation?  It looks better if we know that the cost of things like automobiles and such hasn’t gone up that much.

Kids, if you’re not making sure you’ve got enough groceries in your larder to get you through a few months of tough times, I suggest you start doing it now.  I’m not sure there will be shortages of food, but I’m pretty sure the price for the necessities is going to keep going up for the foreseeable future, and I’d rather give up some shelf space in the basement for food now than to have to ration out what I can buy later.

I don’t prep for TEOTWAWKI, not really anyway.  I can’t afford to put back several years worth of flour, sugar, canned food, and rice without going into debt to do it, and I don’t have much hope of moving much further away from a large city than I am now.*  I see a total inability for the nation to feed itself as a “low risk, high impact” kind of event.  If it happens, we’re in deep kimchi, but I see other scenarios as being more likely:

  • Natural disasters that shut down food distribution for days or weeks
  • Loss of a job by either Irish Woman, me, or both
  • Civil disturbance followed by the inevitable clampdown 
  • Inflation that makes it difficult or impossible to afford the basics of life

Of all of these, I worry most about loss of jobs/income and inflation.  My guess is that those two would come together, which can only make a bad situation worse.  My strategy is to stock up as much of the basics as I can, and be prepared to hunker down with wife, kids, family, and neighbors until things get better.

The basics of life as I see it are clean water, adequate calories and nutrition, warmth, shelter, and security. 

Clean water we take care of by having a water source (two streams) within easy walking distance from the house, a way to transport and store the water without using fuel that will carry enough for a day or two, a water filter, and several gallons of plain old chlorine bleach.  Plus, we have the old cistern system on the house, and it would take about a day to hook it back up to the gutters and such, clean out the cistern, and then all we have to do is pump or dip it out, then purify it.

As for food, we shop sales, buy in bulk, and store enough good, solid food to keep us going for a few months without needing too many inputs.  We can stretch that for quite a while by having inputs from gardens, hunting, fishing, and bartering if necessary.

Shelter is pretty good for us too.  It’ll take a lot to get us to abandon Casa de Oso and become refugees, and we have agreements and plans with family and friends for that event. 

For warmth, I’ve got one heck of a good wood burning fireplace, and a house that can be effectively heated by it.  I need to lay on some more firewood, but I can make a cord or two of firewood keep us warm and cook food for a couple of months if I have to, which is enough time to go get more.

Security I’ve got taken care of, both in the family and in my little community.  One good thing about living in the semi-country:  lots of veterans, lots of guns, and a lot of people who don’t put up with nonsense when it comes to crime.  For health security, we have plenty of preventive measures (soap, sanitizer, cleaners, vitamins) and we keep several good first aid kits and medicine kits in the house at all times.  I can’t do surgery, and I pity the fool that needs me to stitch up a cut, but I’m above the bandaid stage.

Of course, I can always improve my efforts, and I do so every chance I get.  Maybe it’s another box of .22 put back for shooting rabbits and trading, or another case of food or big bag of flour set back against lean times, or it’s more bridge building with my neighbors so that we have a support network, but we’re doing everything we can to not get swamped by the wave that I truly believe is about to break across our nation.

I hope that all of these preparations are like the fallout shelter we had in our backyard in North Dakota, and it just becomes my collection of junk for the kids to go over once I’m gone.  But I’d rather be remembered as the old coot who prepared for something that didn’t happen than be the guy whose kids went hungry because the Kroger wanted $150 for a pound of flour.

*Not to say that I’m not working towards that goal.  I just can’t afford to drop a few thousand dollars on buckets of food and a new farmstead right now.  Slow and steady will get me there eventually, and the worst that happens is that I have a nice place to move to once the kids are out of the house and enough food to stay off the dole once I’m too old to work.

This one comes with a story. 

Junior’s mother is a Gordon Lightfoot fan.  Not sure how she ended up that way, but it is what it is.  We all have our crosses to bear, and hers are Gordon Lightfoot, Adam Ant, and Elton John.  How she ended up with me music wise is still a mystery.

Anyway, when she went into labor with Junior, I had a cassette player and a set of small speakers with me in The Bag.  The two cassettes I remembered to bring with me were Lightfoot’s greatest hits album, and Dr. Feelgood by Motley Crue.  We didn’t want to disturb the other patients, so we went with Lightfoot.  We had that tape on automatic flip, so it played over and over during the hours of labor.  Junior was born just as the chorus to this one came up for what I thought must have been the 50th time.  I haven’t been able to listen to Gordon Lightfoot since then without cringing.

Also, today is the anniversary of the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald, so I thought I’d share.

News Roundup

  • From the “Praise the Lord” Department – Facebook has announced that it will be offering the ‘old’ style newsfeed, which appears to be made of light and magic, as opposed to the new style, which appears to be made of suck and fail.  And now the republic can sleep at night, secure in the knowledge that my use of Facebook, which I do only to remind myself why I stay out of the family craziness, will be done using a classic interface, which was designed and built less than 5 years ago.  Don’t we have more important things to do in America?
  • From the “Bad Day at Baikonur” Department – Russia has announced that one of its spacecraft, which is supposed to go to Mars, could fall to Earth soon because its rockets failed to ignite on time.  Authorities  assert that the large amount of fuel on board will probably burn up on reentry, which I hope happens in the night sky over Kentucky.  I need some fireworks to cheer me up.  Seriously, though, isn’t this the way that most zombie movies start?
  • From the “Cry Me A River” Department – A man, who has been convicted of murder, held up a court proceeding today by going off at the mouth about how he is being treated in prison.  Apparently he made a signal that he might hurt himself, so authorities strip searched him and put him on suicide watch, and that caught in his craw a tad.  I say he’s expressing what I call a “First World Problem”.  You see, we’re civilized enough that the worst thing that’s happened to someone convicted of murder is that he’s been stripped down and had someone watching him to make sure he doesn’t get hurt.  Take us a couple of rungs down the societal sophistication ladder, and this schmuck would have spent a days in the pain room accompanied by a few members of the victim’s family.  He should count himself lucky.
  • From the “My Hero” Department – A man, who joined the military at age 38 so he could serve in World War II, recently celebrated his 108th birthday.  He attributes his long life to “wine, women, and song”.  I think I’ll emulate his winning strategy, although I’m  more into “Bourbon, Redheads, and Gunpowder”.  Bourbon makes you want to live, redheads keep you on your toes, and I don’t want to live a life without gunpowder.

Thought for the Day

Navy SEALS are some of the smartest people I know.  “The only easy day was yesterday.” is more than a way to get through BUDS, it’s become my morning mantra.

Trivia for the Day

Did you know that if you need one stamp after the Post Office closes and you use the new automated kiosk in the lobby, the following conditions apply:

  • You cannot just buy one stamp.  You must buy 3.  I don’t need 3 stamps, I need one.  I already lost the book of stamps I bought the last time I needed to mail something, so I don’t need two more stamps to lose.
  • You can’t pay with cash.  I had change to buy the stamp in my pocket, even enough to buy 3 44 cent stamps.  But the machine doesn’t take cash.  You have to pay with a card.  So my bank paid the company that processes the transaction a rather large percentage of the $1.32 it takes to buy three stamps.  Funny, I’m doing business with the .gov, the money in my pocket was minted by the .gov, and it says right on it “all debts, public and private” right on it.  
  • You don’t get a real stamp.  You get a pre-printed sticker that has a computer code on it, so it’s sure to be mixed in with all of the other white paper with printing on it and lost.

Grumble, grumble, government, grumble.

Dear City Planners

Does the way you have laid out your roads in Louisville make any sense to you?  Do you just randomly put in roads and their layouts, or do you do it with a sinister grin?  There are scores of things in the layout of this little burg that make me want to tear my hair out.

Today’s example:

Irish Woman and I were trying to take Boo to an educational evaluation this morning.  We looked at the address given, and decided to give ourselves an hour to get there, which should have given us a 10 to 15 minute cushion.  Somewhere along the way, our cars got separated, but hey, no problem, I know where the street is, and I’ll just go down the street to the school indicated on the appointment.  I got off the freeway, made two right turns, drove for a moment, then took a left turn onto the road in question.  So far, so good.

After driving around suburban Louisville for 30 minutes, having not one, but two arguments with my wife over the cell phone, three turn-arounds, and one stress headache later, I realized that I was no longer on the road in question.  I had driven in a straight line, but somewhere along the way, the road had changed names.  It hadn’t stopped, it just changed its title.  Looking at a map after pulling over, I found that the road changes names at an intersection with another major road, moves over two blocks, and starts again.  It’s not a T stop, it’s two four-way stops.

We found the place, and had a good appointment, but not before I realized that I had gotten pissed off at my wife for something someone probably did before she was born.

Basically, I got lost because I assumed that roads a) keep their names consistently and b) don’t just up and move two blocks to the west.

I am going to have to do a lot of groveling with Irish Woman over the way I acted while trying to find an address that’s not connected with the rest of the road it’s on, and I probably deserve a couple of nights on the couch.

But I will be sending the bill for the roses to the city planning department.  I expect payment promptly.

Sincerely,

Daddy J. Bear
Pissed Off Taxpayer

Holiday Taxes

The news media and blogosphere are alight today because of a new 15 cent ‘fee’ that’s being assessed on every real Christmas tree sold in the United States.  The Department of Agriculture says it will use the money to pay for a commission that will promote the use of fresh trees over artificial ones.  Here at Casa de Oso, we have been using a fresh tree for several years, but have an old artificial tree up in the attic.  So I guess you could say we are agnostic on the whole “fresh versus artificial” debate.

Officials in the Ag Department don’t seem to think that adding an additional 15 cents added to the wholesale cost of a tree is going to do anything to sales, so I guess they forgot that companies tend to collect government taxes and fees, not pay them.

So what other holiday traditions could be use a little government funded booster club?

  • American Flags – Let’s be real here, kids.  A lot of people have stopped flying the flag, even on special holidays like Memorial Day or Independence Day.  Every year, thousands of miniature flags are purchased to decorate graves.  If the government could just get a few cents off of every flag sale, then a campaign could be set up to remind people that if they want to fly the flag, Walmart still sells them.
  • Pumpkins – A lot of people are buying those resin or ceramic jack-o’-lanterns for Halloween, and that’s bound to cut into business for our nation’s squash producers.  A propaganda campaign of commercials during the network news every evening during the month of October could be paid for by charging a few cents per pound for every real pumpkin sold.
  • Candy at Easter and Halloween – This is another untapped gold mine.  Millions of jelly beans, candy eggs, peanut butter filled bats, and much more are purchased every year.  A fee of just a penny per piece would fund radio ads of just the sound of JayG opening a Zagnut on Vicious Circle for the entire year.  It would be a boon for dentists, and if this works, we might not have to pass a fat tax to keep kids from eating all that junk food.
  • Turkeys – Let’s face it, tofurkey and other alternatives for Christmas and Thanksgiving are eating into the gobbler lobbies bottom line, and that’s un-American.  A fee on every bird sold could pay for pop-up ads on foodie websites reminding people that Columbus ate turkey on his way to the new world aboard the Mayflower or something.  Come on, who wants to eat ham for Christmas anyway?  It’s just not Kosher.
  • Champagne and other booze – I have it on good authority that there are actually people who have the energy on December 31 to stay up until all hours of the night, drinking large quantities of liquor and champagne, just so that they can sing a song and then drink some more.  This untapped source of government revenue could fund billboards reminding everyone to stop off for a six pack on their way home from this party.  It’s not like we tax booze in this country, right?  What’s that?  Oh we do?  Well, then we’ll call it the “Champagne Charge”.

As you can see, the government has a lot of methods for separating us with just a little more money in order to convince us to buy things we were going to buy anyway.

Update – Corrected “15%” to “15 cent”.  Thanks to Ruth for catching that!  DaddyBear reading comprehension fail!

Thought for the Day 2

Do y’all think it would be a good idea to spread a rumor in the OWS crowd that all of the political and financial power in the world is centered in the Westboro Baptist Church so that the hippies would set up massive demonstrations wherever those goobers pop their heads up?

Just an evil little thought.

Thought for the Day

This morning, I successfully voted against 8 incumbents.  I think that’s usually the best strategy.

What have you done for the republic today?

Another Train to Nowhere

Recently, I took issue with the tripling of cost and multi-decade timeline for a fast rail project to connect the big cities in California.  I was aghast at the cost overruns before the first shovel of dirt had been dug.

Now I find that San Francisco, also known as Pyongyang on the Bay, has a much smaller project that costs more per yard than anything I’ve ever heard of. But I promise to discuss it rationally and calmly.

San Francisco is trying to dig a two mile subway tunnel.  The citizenry of San Fransisco approved the project in 2003, with an expected price tag of about $650 million.  That’s right, they expected it to cost over $300 million a mile to put in a new subway line.

Deep breath.  Remember, rational and calm

But now in 2011, eight years later, they’ve finally started digging, and they hope to start tunneling next year and be done by 2018 with an expected price tag of $1.6 billion.

Deep breath. Come on, DaddyBear, you can do this.

Most of that money is expected to come from the federal government, or as I like to call it, my taxes.

Deep breath.

OK, forget rational and calm.  Are you freaking kidding me?  These bluntskulls want to put a two mile subway tunnel into a city known for shaking itself to the ground and setting itself on fire, at a cost of billions of dollars and over a decade of time?  And you want me and the rest of the people in the country who pay taxes to foot the bill?  Have you all lost your ever loving, patchouli smelling, Prius driving minds?

Did something happen to the water in California over the past few decades?  Did they start using lead pipes to bring in water the way that Rome did, and this is the pathetic result?  Is this what you get when all the hippies at Haight-Ashbury take too much bad acid and then procreate?

You know, someday I hope to wake up and find that all the stupid people have pulled a lemming and walked into the surf all at once.  But it’s a forlorn hope.  The stupid people wouldn’t want to see me that happy.