- To the guy on the Harley who thought it would be a good idea to swerve through traffic on wet pavement tonight: I’m sorry I had to slam on my brakes so that I didn’t turn you into a speed bump, but you gave yourself exactly 6 inches both in front of and behind yourself when you cut me off so you could make it to the right turn lane. I hope that when you finally get into a real crash and you ride that bike for a few meters on its side, that finger you waved at me is uninjured so you’ll have something to guide your motorized chair around with.
- To the person who stopped by my desk at 10:23 PM on a Saturday night to ask if I was working hard or hardly working: I hope that all of your children drop out of college to pursue careers in snuff films where I’m sure they’ll be glad to see their grandmother more often.
- To the couple who had a screaming fight at the gas station while I was filling up on the way home: I really hope that the kids you had in the car use you as a bad example. I would hate for them to think that screaming scatological epithets at each other while getting a tank of gas is normal.
- To the stoner working the drive through window: Dude, when I’m buying fast food at 12:05 AM on a Saturday night while wearing business casual attire, I want my soda, my sandwich, and my change. I do not want to know that it’s cold in the restaurant, that your girlfriend is waiting on you at home, and that you get off work in a few hours. At that hour, I’m not the most social animal, OK? Cut the chitchat, give me what I need, and let me get on the road.
- To the construction workers who were doing maintenance on the highway interchange tonight: Guys, my hat’s off to you. I would have laid money that at least one of the bozo’s in front of me using one of y’all as a hood ornament. It tells me a lot that when I slowed down and got over to give you some room, one of you shouted “Thank You!”.
- To the nice police officer who tailgated me from the highway to my driveway just to make sure I made it home OK: Thank you so much for making sure I didn’t do anything foolish like forget to use my turn signal or speed for the last few miles of my journey home. I wish you luck as you spend the rest of your evening trolling for real drunk drivers.
Shoutouts
Posted by daddybear71 on September 25, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/09/25/shoutouts/
Thought for the Day
Now that Boo is talking in complete sentences, it’s time to teach him some important phrases for life:
- Nochmal ein Bier, bitte!
- Uno mas cervesa, por favor!
- Shall not be infringed!
- From my cold dead hands! (Already working on this one in relation to his toy cars)
- Molon Labe!
- Brown Chicken, Brown Cow!
- Oh yeah? Well, so’s your mother!
- Take a bath, hippie!
- Get off my lawn!
- Kill a Commie for Mommy!
- I feel the need, the need for speed!
- Front Toward Enemy
- There can be only one!
- Can’t stop the signal
- Two is one, and one is none
Yep, that’s me: Always a good influence on impressionable youth!
Posted by daddybear71 on September 24, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/09/24/thought-for-the-day-65/
Taxpayer
Posted by daddybear71 on September 24, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/09/24/taxpayer/
Eureka!
A while ago, Tam and pretty much every other blogger I read asked what music you would want to listen to as you went out in a blaze of glory before becoming Purina Zombie Chow. They all had good ideas, but I couldn’t think of what I would want to listen to while shooting out my last magazine of copper jacketed lead.
Would it be something inspiring?
Or maybe something from my youth?
Posted by daddybear71 on September 23, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/09/23/eureka/
Dinner Tonight
This is a variation on the Jaegerschnitzel I’ve loved since my grandmother made it for me when I was as little as Boo. I went with thicker cuts of meat, took away the breading on the pork, and made something of a Southern style peppery cream gravy. It’s still got the mushrooms I love, and the pasta makes a good good stand-in for the spaetzle that would normally be served.
Ingredients:
4 pork loin chops, between 1/2 and 3/4 inch thick
1 white or yellow onion, chopped fine
1 bell pepper, chopped fine
1 cup sliced fresh mushrooms, whatever variety you like
Olive Oil
Black Pepper and other herbs/spices you like.
Canadian Steak Seasoning
1/4 to 1/3 cup Kentucky Kernel or other seasoned flour (Make your own if you want)
Milk
Sprinkle the chops with the steak seasoning on both sides and set aside. In a large saute pan, heat enough olive oil to coat the bottom. Add the onions, mushroom, and bell pepper and saute until the onions soften and begin to become transparent. Add the black pepper and other spices to taste. Add the chops and brown on both sides. Make a slurry of the flour and 2 cups of the milk. Take the chops from the pan. Add the milk/flour slurry and bring to simmer. Add more milk until a thin gravy forms. Add the chops and turn until coated. Lower the heat and and simmer until the gravy thickens to your desired consistency.
Serve over rice or pasta with steamed fresh vegetables. Goes well with baking powder biscuits or a good bread.
Posted by daddybear71 on September 23, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/09/23/dinner-tonight-7/
Today’s Earworm
Texas – I’ve always regretted leaving San Angelo and Killeen, and those aren’t even the pretty parts.
Posted by daddybear71 on September 23, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/09/23/todays-earworm-106/
Thought for the Day II
After reading over the notes from last night’s debate, I’ve decided that I wouldn’t hire but one or two of those yahoos to mow my lawn, much less run the country. And even the ones I’d hire for lawn maintenance wouldn’t be left unsupervised.
Posted by daddybear71 on September 23, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/09/23/thought-for-the-day-ii-3/
Thought for the Day
“I said I didn’t have much use for one. Never said I didn’t know how to use it.” — Tom Selleck as Matthew Quigley, in “Quigley Down Under“
We all have skills that most people don’t know about. For me, it’s cooking and baking. I find it amusing when people praise Irish Woman for a meal or a treat at a party only to have her point at me with that impish grin of hers.
What skills do y’all have that most people don’t know and wouldn’t guess?
Posted by daddybear71 on September 23, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/09/23/thought-for-the-day-66/
Oatmeal Cookies with Fruit
Making more goodies for lunches. This time I thought I’d get away from the horrifically-bad-for-you chocolate chip cookies and make something that at least pretends to have nutrition.
Ingredients:
1/2 cup butter, softened
1/4 cup shortening
1 cup packed dark brown sugar or light brown sugar with a tablespoon of molasses
1/2 cup white sugar
2 eggs
Vanilla, almond extract, or bourbon to taste
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
Cinnamon, cloves, ginger, nutmeg to taste
1 cup white flour
3/4 cup whole wheat flour
2 cups dry oatmeal
1 cup dried fruit (apples, cherries, raisins, cranberries, or whatever you like) chopped up into small 1/4 inch pieces
Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.
Put dried fruit in a microwave safe bowl and add water until the fruit is barely covered. Microwave for 1 minute then let stand while you put together the rest of the dough.
Cream butter, shortening, and sugars in a mixer at low speed. Once creamed, add in eggs and vanilla/almond/bourbon.
In another bowl, sift together the flours, baking powder, soda, and spices. Add to wet mixture and mix thoroughly. Add oats and mix.
Drain excess water off of fruit, and add to the dough. Mix just until the fruit is evenly distributed. Dough will be slightly wet, but not runny.
Spoon 1 inch balls of dough (a heaping tablespoon) on baking stone or lightly greased cookie sheet at least 2 inches apart. The cookies will spread and flatten during baking. Bake for 12 to 15 minutes, or until the cookies brown and the edges are crisp. Let cool on sheet for 2 minutes then transfer to wire rack.
Posted by daddybear71 on September 23, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/09/23/oatmeal-cookies-with-fruit/
News Roundup
- From the “Twisting in the Wind” Department – The New York stock market took a nosedive today after the Fed gave a distinctly un-rosy picture of the economy and initiated Operation Twist. That’s a scheme where the Fed changes out short to medium term debt for long term debt. I’m telling all of my friends to invest in canned goods and shotguns myself. I’m also buying precious metals: steel, lead, copper, and brass.
- From the “Not Raised Right” Department – An older couple in Italy is turning to the courts in an effort to get their 41 year old son to move out. My strategy for this is to make my childrens’ life as boring and miserable as I can when they’re 16 and 17 so they’ll hightail it out when they turn 18. Good tools for this include playing my music when I get up at 5 AM and they’re trying to sleep, health and welfare searches of their rooms for contraband at the slightest suspicion, and insisting that they do lots and lots of chores. I’d hire them out to a dairy farm as a barn cleaner if I could find one around here that would take them. My goal is to have one of them join the military and discover that their drill sergeant is more reasonable than I am.
- From the “Big Brass Ones” Department – A young lady leading a trail ride with several tourists in Montana saved the life of a young boy when she and her horse squared off against a 700+ pound grizzly bear. Apparently the bear was chasing a deer when it confused the horse the boy was riding with its prey and ran after it. The young lady gave chase and used her oversized mount to shield the boy and to face down the bear. Did I mention that she had neither a gun nor bear spray when she did this? My only question: Where do we get more like her?
- From the “Chutzpah” Department – The Florida teacher who pled guilty to having sex with a 14 year old student in exchange for three years of house arrest and seven years of probation has asked to have her sentence reduced. Let’s see, as a 23 year old teacher, she molested a 14 year old boy, didn’t spend a day in prison, got to go on with her life, and now wants even that extremely light sentence reduced because “she’s a responsible adult”. Hey, lady, you were supposed to be a responsible adult when you were 23 and schtupping a pubescent boy. How about you serve out your probation while you say a few prayers of thanks that you happened to have two X chromosomes and were cute so you didn’t get sent to prison for 20 years? Things like this make me wish we’d never gotten rid of dueling. Put her in a cage with the kid’s parents and a couple of trench knives and we’ll see some justice.
Posted by daddybear71 on September 22, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/09/22/news-roundup-83/







