Girlie Bear has discovered boy bands. I blame her aunt, who was apparently into them in the 1990’s.
Today’s Earworm
Posted by daddybear71 on September 25, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/09/25/todays-earworm-105/
Good Training
I owe a lot to the excellent NCO’s who trained me when I was a young soldier. It’s been 22 years since I was an eager recruit and 13 since I signed my discharge papers, but some things still hold true. Most of them are ingrained habits that come from drills repeated until I dreamed about them.
- I was watching a documentary yesterday about military technology through the ages, and one of the soldiers was carrying a chemical weapons alarm that went off. This equipment puts out a high pitched tone that no other thing makes when it’s tripped. When I heard it, I immediately stopped breathing, closed my eyes, and reached to my thigh for my protective mask. Irish Woman looked at me like I had lobsters growing out of my head.
- When loading a semi-automatic pistol or rifle, I always lock the slide to the rear, insert the magazine into the weapon, and then release the slide lock. It never occurs to me to just pull the slide back and let it go after inserting the magazine.
- When I walk with someone, I almost always walk on their left as a show of respect.
- I know to stand and show respect not only when I hear the Star Spangled Banner, but also Le Marseilles, God Save the Queen, and Deutchland Uberalles.
- When driving up to the a vehicle gate in the dark, I still remember to turn off my headlights and drive up with my parking lights on so that I don’t blind the gate guard.
- When shooting my friend’s AR-15 at the range, I still do SPORTS without thinking about it when it has a malfunction.
- I cringe when I see how people on TV and the movies wear uniforms, especially when they’re wearing ribbons and decorations.
- I remember that an ensign is not a lieutenant, and a captain is not a colonel.
- I still think black jungle boots look silly, especially the ones with the jump boot toe. And the ones that zip up the side are as wrong as a football bat.
It’s amazing what sticks with you, isn’t it?
Posted by daddybear71 on September 25, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/09/25/good-training/
News Roundup
- From the “Blackbird Pie” Department – A magpie in Australia has been relocated to an undisclosed location after attacking a young boy and possibly blinding him. Relocation? Is there a magpie relocation program in Australia? Is the magpie now living in a small grove under an assumed name and species? Are shotguns that tightly controlled in Oz?
- From the “Catch a Clue” Department – A man in Florida was arrested for DUI when he drove his car after being warned not to by a police officer. Dude, when Officer Friendly is telling you that you probably shouldn’t be driving, that’s a hint and a half right there.
- From the “No Kidding?” Department – Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin has announced that he will run for president of the Russian Federation next year. Show of hands: Who is actually surprised by this? If Putin is successful, and there is every reason to believe that he will be, then he could be the head man of Russia for another 12 years. Putin first came to power as the Prime Minister in 1999, so if he does the full 12, he will have been in power for 25 years the next time this question comes up. Last person to do that long a stretch in charge in Russia was Stalin.
- From the “Nothing to See Here” Department – A Saudi Man has been arrested after he tried to check several undeclared weapons on a flight from New York to Riyadh. This was his checked baggage, so I doubt he was going to try to hijack the aircraft, but then again, a bunch of tazers and a can of mace is a good way to see if airport security would notice pressurized containers, high capacity batteries, and electrical circuits. I’m probably just being paranoid, but you know what they say about paranoids.
Posted by daddybear71 on September 25, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/09/25/news-roundup-82/
Shoutouts
- To the guy on the Harley who thought it would be a good idea to swerve through traffic on wet pavement tonight: I’m sorry I had to slam on my brakes so that I didn’t turn you into a speed bump, but you gave yourself exactly 6 inches both in front of and behind yourself when you cut me off so you could make it to the right turn lane. I hope that when you finally get into a real crash and you ride that bike for a few meters on its side, that finger you waved at me is uninjured so you’ll have something to guide your motorized chair around with.
- To the person who stopped by my desk at 10:23 PM on a Saturday night to ask if I was working hard or hardly working: I hope that all of your children drop out of college to pursue careers in snuff films where I’m sure they’ll be glad to see their grandmother more often.
- To the couple who had a screaming fight at the gas station while I was filling up on the way home: I really hope that the kids you had in the car use you as a bad example. I would hate for them to think that screaming scatological epithets at each other while getting a tank of gas is normal.
- To the stoner working the drive through window: Dude, when I’m buying fast food at 12:05 AM on a Saturday night while wearing business casual attire, I want my soda, my sandwich, and my change. I do not want to know that it’s cold in the restaurant, that your girlfriend is waiting on you at home, and that you get off work in a few hours. At that hour, I’m not the most social animal, OK? Cut the chitchat, give me what I need, and let me get on the road.
- To the construction workers who were doing maintenance on the highway interchange tonight: Guys, my hat’s off to you. I would have laid money that at least one of the bozo’s in front of me using one of y’all as a hood ornament. It tells me a lot that when I slowed down and got over to give you some room, one of you shouted “Thank You!”.
- To the nice police officer who tailgated me from the highway to my driveway just to make sure I made it home OK: Thank you so much for making sure I didn’t do anything foolish like forget to use my turn signal or speed for the last few miles of my journey home. I wish you luck as you spend the rest of your evening trolling for real drunk drivers.
Posted by daddybear71 on September 25, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/09/25/shoutouts/
Thought for the Day
Now that Boo is talking in complete sentences, it’s time to teach him some important phrases for life:
- Nochmal ein Bier, bitte!
- Uno mas cervesa, por favor!
- Shall not be infringed!
- From my cold dead hands! (Already working on this one in relation to his toy cars)
- Molon Labe!
- Brown Chicken, Brown Cow!
- Oh yeah? Well, so’s your mother!
- Take a bath, hippie!
- Get off my lawn!
- Kill a Commie for Mommy!
- I feel the need, the need for speed!
- Front Toward Enemy
- There can be only one!
- Can’t stop the signal
- Two is one, and one is none
Yep, that’s me: Always a good influence on impressionable youth!
Posted by daddybear71 on September 24, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/09/24/thought-for-the-day-65/
Taxpayer
Emperor Obamadus stepped onto the sand of the coliseum. His faithful guards of the Pressorian Guard parted to make way so that he could step into the ring they had formed around the taxpayers he wished to address. He looked down his nose at them through the teleprompter that floated before his face.
“Rise, rise”, he said to the taxpayers who had been brought almost to their knees for him. The Taxpayers wearily rose to their full height, the dust of the coliseum running in lines of sweat down their weathered faces. The Emperor turned to the tall one who still wore his helmet.
“Your fame is well deserved, Norwegian. My wife insists that you are Ayers reborn. Or was it Chomsky? No matter. Why doesn’t the great hero of the people reveal himself and give us his name?” he said half interestedly, studying his nails as the words flowed across the teleprompter.
“My name is Taxpayer”, said the Norwegian as he turned his back and started to walk towards the barracks.
“How dare you turn your back on me?”, the Emperor whined. “Slave! You will remove your mask and tell me your name!”
The Norwegian slowly turned back towards the Emperor. He took a deep breath, then reached up and slowly pulled his helmet off. The Emperor took a step back upon seeing his face and the look of utter disdain upon it.
“I am DaddyBearus Scipio Americanus, Guardian of the Republic, veteran of campaigns in Germania and Dalmatia, and loyal servant to the true image of our nation Constitutionus Invictus. Descendant of true immigrants who worked for a living, father to children who will toil their entire lives to pay for your excesses, husband to a disillusioned wife, and I will have my revenge, in this election or the next.” the Norwegian hissed, looking the Emperor in his widening eyes.
The Emperor blanched as his teleprompter cracked. He quickly turned around and moved to the exit as quickly as he could without breaking into a run.
DaddyBearus nodded to the Pressorian Guards and walked with his fellow Taxpayers back to their place of dwelling. Now that the Emperor knew that he still lived, the job of throwing him out of office had become both easier and more interesting.
With apologies to Ridley Scott and Russell Crowe.
Posted by daddybear71 on September 24, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/09/24/taxpayer/
Eureka!
A while ago, Tam and pretty much every other blogger I read asked what music you would want to listen to as you went out in a blaze of glory before becoming Purina Zombie Chow. They all had good ideas, but I couldn’t think of what I would want to listen to while shooting out my last magazine of copper jacketed lead.
Would it be something inspiring?
Or maybe something from my youth?
I couldn’t decide, so I didn’t put up a post. But then I read this from Alan, and I knew the perfect music to listen to while taking as many Zeds with me to hell as I could:
Posted by daddybear71 on September 23, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/09/23/eureka/
Dinner Tonight
This is a variation on the Jaegerschnitzel I’ve loved since my grandmother made it for me when I was as little as Boo. I went with thicker cuts of meat, took away the breading on the pork, and made something of a Southern style peppery cream gravy. It’s still got the mushrooms I love, and the pasta makes a good good stand-in for the spaetzle that would normally be served.
Ingredients:
4 pork loin chops, between 1/2 and 3/4 inch thick
1 white or yellow onion, chopped fine
1 bell pepper, chopped fine
1 cup sliced fresh mushrooms, whatever variety you like
Olive Oil
Black Pepper and other herbs/spices you like.
Canadian Steak Seasoning
1/4 to 1/3 cup Kentucky Kernel or other seasoned flour (Make your own if you want)
Milk
Sprinkle the chops with the steak seasoning on both sides and set aside. In a large saute pan, heat enough olive oil to coat the bottom. Add the onions, mushroom, and bell pepper and saute until the onions soften and begin to become transparent. Add the black pepper and other spices to taste. Add the chops and brown on both sides. Make a slurry of the flour and 2 cups of the milk. Take the chops from the pan. Add the milk/flour slurry and bring to simmer. Add more milk until a thin gravy forms. Add the chops and turn until coated. Lower the heat and and simmer until the gravy thickens to your desired consistency.
Serve over rice or pasta with steamed fresh vegetables. Goes well with baking powder biscuits or a good bread.
Posted by daddybear71 on September 23, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/09/23/dinner-tonight-7/
Today’s Earworm
Texas – I’ve always regretted leaving San Angelo and Killeen, and those aren’t even the pretty parts.
Posted by daddybear71 on September 23, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/09/23/todays-earworm-106/
Thought for the Day II
After reading over the notes from last night’s debate, I’ve decided that I wouldn’t hire but one or two of those yahoos to mow my lawn, much less run the country. And even the ones I’d hire for lawn maintenance wouldn’t be left unsupervised.
Posted by daddybear71 on September 23, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/09/23/thought-for-the-day-ii-3/
DaddyBear
DaddyBear’s Den 
