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Good Idea

New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg has announced that Zuccotti Park, the staging area for the New York-based Occupy Wall Street protests, will be cleaned on Friday, October 14.  Apparently three weeks of pizza, ganja, human waste, and the detritus of hippies in their natural habitat have made the park into  a health hazard.  Apparently you can indeed make something in New York so funky that even New Yorkers want it cleaned up.

Hey Mike!  I’ve got an idea! A wonderful, awful idea!

How about you hand out bars of Ivory soap, shower gel, and laundry detergent.  Tell the hippies they have 5 minutes to undress, then hit them all with fire hoses.  The lather from the shower gel and bars of soap alone would scrub the hippies down, clean the stench out of the park, get the resin out of all that hemp clothing, and make the entire area sparkle for the expected arrival of Lech Walesa.  Of course, all that funk would end up in the harbor, but this is really just a case of shifting the crud away from Manhattan. Maybe if we’re lucky, the funk cloud will wash up on Martha’s Vineyard in time for the president’s next vacation.

by daddybear71 on October 14, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in Politics

Posted by daddybear71 on October 14, 2011

https://daddybearsden.com/2011/10/14/good-idea/

News Roundup

  • From the “One Stop Shop” Department – Two men in California have been arrested for immigration, narcotics, and weapons charges after being caught selling drugs and guns out of their hot dog stand.  Tentative names for the business were “Mausers and Meth”, “Weiners and Weapons”, “Sausages and Sigs”, “Brats and Boomsticks”, and “Ma Deuce Au Jus”.  
  • From the “Taking It Too Seriously” Department – A school in British Columbia has outlawed bracelets that say “I HEART BOOBIES”, which were being worn to raise awareness of breast cancer.  Officials say that it’s a distraction and could be offensive.  Boy, they’re really going to hate colo-rectal cancer awareness month.
  • From the “Walking on Water” Department – A surfer in Oregon claims that after a large shark knocked him off of his board, he actually rode the beast for a few seconds.  Although his story is backed up by witnesses, I’m skeptical.  I’ve been related by marriage to quite a few sharks, and I’ve never known any of them to give piggy back rides.
  • From the “Snakes in a Van” Department – A man was arrested recently in Georgia for transporting 13 reptiles, including 10 snakes, in his car.  This one I believe.  It’s amazing how many reptilian forms of life I’ve been related to through marriage that needed a ride at one time or another.
  • From the “No Kidding?” Department – Researchers in Atlanta have reported an increase in births 9 months after a major snow storm shut down the city.  Let’s see, it’s dark, it’s cold, you’re bored, and you’re stuck at home with your significant other.  Who could have predicted that people might have gotten pregnant?  Heck, if the people in the south didn’t know that, all they would have had to do was ask someone from the Great White North.  We all know that you make babies when you’re snowed in, and deliver them when the leaves change colors.
  • From the “Stone Age Gallery” Department – Archeologists in South Africa claim to have found evidence of an early paint factory.  Among the things found were stones used to grind and mix pigments, shells used to hold the paint, and instruments to scoop it up.  No word yet on the amount of jaunty berets, Galois cigarettes, primitive espresso machines, and cheap red wine that was found.
by daddybear71 on October 14, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in news

Posted by daddybear71 on October 14, 2011

https://daddybearsden.com/2011/10/14/news-roundup-78/

Today in Bear History

On this date in 1958, the first adventure of Paddington Bear was published.  This lovable bear who always muddled through his adventures was one of my favorites as a child.  I need to get some Paddington books for Boo.  It appears that the ones we had for the older children have been passed on to other families already.

I’m going to go make a marmelade sandwich and a nice cup of cocoa. Y’all have a good night.

by daddybear71 on October 14, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in Uncategorized

Posted by daddybear71 on October 14, 2011

https://daddybearsden.com/2011/10/14/today-in-bear-history/

Evening Chuckle

I saw this one on a friend’s FB page, and I immediately thought of Calvin’s Mom over at The Transmogrifier Files.

It also reminds me of my time working as an usher at one of the local theaters to pay for Junior Bear’s band class.  One of our main responsibilities was to make sure that no-one was recording the concerts, plays, and such.  This meant having to ask people to put away their phones.  It was amazing how many people can’t go an hour without sending a text, and how devious they would try to be in order to do it.

by daddybear71 on October 14, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in silliness

Posted by daddybear71 on October 14, 2011

https://daddybearsden.com/2011/10/14/evening-chuckle/

include <RIP.h>

Today I learned that Dennis Ritchie, another person who created the technology that has greatly influenced my life, has died:

Ritchie is credited with creating the programming language C, one of the most widely used and influential languages today. He was also one of the creators of operating system UNIX, whose variants — most notably Linux and OS X — are also widely used today.

I’ve been using and taking care of Unix systems since 1990, and was using computer programs written in C long before that.  It’s the technology that I use to make my living, and I don’t think that’s going to change for a very long time.  Yes, there are a lot of newer languages and OS’s out there, but almost all of them are either based on something that Ritchie created or borrow concepts from his work.  There’s something comforting and home-like about getting into a command shell on a Unix box, be it Solaris, HPUX, AIX, or Linux.

Rest in peace, Mr. Ritchie.  An entire generation of geeks owes a lot to you.

#include <stdio.h>
 
int main (void)
{
    printf("Hello, world!\n");
    return 0;
}
by daddybear71 on October 13, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in geekery

Posted by daddybear71 on October 13, 2011

https://daddybearsden.com/2011/10/13/include-rip-h/

Thoughts for the Day

  • If your breakfast was a bag of potato chips eaten with ketchup and mayonnaise (not me, I promise), then don’t be surprised that you’re drinking water like there’s no tomorrow.  Also, please stop sharing.  Really, just stop.
  • If you find a problem during testing, but don’t tell anyone about it, you forfeit the right to be outraged when the same problem causes issues after the production rollout.
  • Yes, water is falling from the sky.  Can we at least go as fast as the speed limit?
  • There are precisely 5 people on the planet to whom I have granted the privilege of telling me what to do in exchange for a paycheck.  Odds are, you’re not one of them.
by daddybear71 on October 13, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in Thought for the day

Posted by daddybear71 on October 13, 2011

https://daddybearsden.com/2011/10/13/thoughts-for-the-day-2/

Today’s Earworm

by daddybear71 on October 13, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in Earworm

Posted by daddybear71 on October 13, 2011

https://daddybearsden.com/2011/10/13/todays-earworm-101/

Marko brings the funny

Marko over at The Munchkin Wrangler has an outrageously funny story that I truly hope is a foreshadowing of how I’ll spend my 150th birthday.  Lord knows that the future he predicts is probably pretty close to what’s going to happen.  All the danger and flavor of life is being bleached out by people who’ve never had an adrenaline rush or a hangover.

by daddybear71 on October 12, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in fun

Posted by daddybear71 on October 12, 2011

https://daddybearsden.com/2011/10/12/marko-brings-the-funny/

News Roundup

  • From the “Anyone Can Sue Anyone” Department – A woman in Texas is suing three airlines for a flight that had bad turbulence.  She claims that she feared for her life and is traumatized.  Does this mean I can sue every helicopter and C-130 pilot who tried his ‘nap of the earth’ flying while I was on board?  Nothing says ‘rough ride’ like a UH-1 being smacked on the undercarriage by the tops of trees.
  • From the “15 Months to Go”  Department – First Lady Obama says that she sneaks away from the White House as often as she can, which she asserts gives her a bit of normalcy.  Yeah, normal like every woman has when she’s driven in armored SUV’s, surrounded by security, and photographed by paid journalists.  I hope Mrs. Obama enjoys her excursions, because she will probably be getting a lot of chances after January 2013.
  •  From the “Cameron’s Dad’s Car” Department – A federal judge has dismissed a lawsuit against the government.  It appears that an FBI agent was taking a Ferrari that was being held as evidence out for a spin and totalled it.  The judge says that the government can’t be held responsible for damage to things being held by law enforcement.  The image I have is two guys giving the Ferrari a workout on the streets of Lexington while “Born to be Wild” plays through the sound system.  
  • From the “Here We Go” Department – Police in Germany have found three incendiary devices on rail tracks, one of which exploded and did damage.  A leftist group has claimed responsibility and is demanding that accused WikiLeaks spy Bradley Manning be released.  Hopefully these guys are caught before anyone gets hurt.  Personally, I’m hoping that the law of averages and their own stupidity turns them into a headline when a bomb explodes as they’re assembling it.
  • From the “Cell, Inmate, Some Assembly Required” Department – The Nigerian man who tried to blow up an airliner with explosives hidden in his underwear has pled guilty to 8 counts related to the incident.  He’s facing life in prison, and I hope it’s spent in a place built before the theory of rehabilitation being superior to punishment was put into practice.  His little escapade is the rationale for wide use of pervo-tron scanners and ‘enhanced’ pat-downs.
by daddybear71 on October 12, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in news

Posted by daddybear71 on October 12, 2011

https://daddybearsden.com/2011/10/12/news-roundup-79/

Trouble in Perpetual Motion

An unnamed contributor over at Skippy’s List describes how an industrious dolt is always more dangerous than a lazy genius:

No more than maybe fifteen minutes go by and I hear my team leader screaming again, “what the f*** are you doing?!” There sits a very confused soldier getting his ass handed to him again. Somehow in the last fifteen minutes he had forgotten that the user name and password were labeled on the keyboard in front of his face, and got frustrated that his network log in wasn’t working. To remedy this he decided the issue was that there was no Ethernet cable plugged in so he found one and tried to plug it in, but then he noticed an obstruction in the port so he whipped out his trusty Gerber and removed it. He then commenced to try and log into the network with an unauthorized computer…our Ethernet switch was just down and we had to move offices.

(Edited for language.)

I hope that the soldier in question was put on human waste destruction detail for a while.

Reminds me of my first job in military IT.  I was tasked with crawling under the floors of our facilities to find unauthorized modems and telephone cables.  Seems that someone had been caught connecting a modem and unsecure telephone line to his classified work computer so that he could work on his classified reports at home, so we had to do a phyisical audit of all of our buildings to make sure no-one else had done it.  Nothing like the deep-lung irritation of 30 year old dust under 18 to 24 inch high suspended floors to make that morning PT run a real picnic.  At least the only critters I found were old snake skins.  Big ones.  Like make me jump up through the floor tiles whether there’s a hole there or not big.  Ahhh, memories.

by daddybear71 on October 12, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in geekery, military

Posted by daddybear71 on October 12, 2011

https://daddybearsden.com/2011/10/12/trouble-in-perpetual-motion/

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