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30 Days of Reagan – Day 28

My fellow Americans, I’m pleased to tell you today that I’ve signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes.

My Take – Never miss a chance to make your adversaries worry that you just might be a little insane.  It keeps them guessing and makes you unpredictable.

Plan for the Week

Irish Woman will be flying away on the big silver bird to the wilds of Iowa for training tomorrow morning.  Based on the amount of preparation and admonishing she’s done today, I think she’s expecting to come home to “Lord of the Flies”, with me playing the part of the pig with a head on a stick.

I’ve got a fully stocked larder, a set of menus listed out for what I’m going to cook, all the laundry is done, and the house looks better than it has in a long time.

Not saying this is going to be a piece of cake, but I think I can handle this.  The kids have to sleep sometime, don’t they?

Yeah, I know, pride goeth before the fall.

Watch this space for updates on how I handle single parenthood for five days.

30 Days of Reagan – Day 27

Liberals fought poverty and poverty won.

News Roundup

  • From the “That Explains A Lot” Department – Fran Drescher, an actress who has ‘entertained’ us for almost 20 years and whose voice has been shown to cause seizures in primates, claims that she was abducted by aliens when she was a teenager.  She also claims that her ex-husband was abducted early in his life, and that explains why they sought each other out.  Actually, I’m inclined to believe her story.  There is no way that her voice and laugh come from anything but advanced alien programs to drive us to shove screwdrivers in our ears until they come out sticky.  Also, you’d have to be under the influence of an alien mind probe to want to be around her for 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.  Here’s hoping the little green men come back to see how their “catch and release” subject has been doing and take her back to their planet for further study.
  • From the “Make a Bigger One” Department – The Air Force is working with weapons designers and manufacturers to improve its latest model of bunker buster bombs.  Reports are that even though it’s one heck of a good penetrator and bomb, it would have issues destroying Iran’s most deeply buried facilities.  My guess is that the Pentagon wants a “one shot, one kill” solution for each facility it would hit in the event of war.  My solution is a little simpler than making a better penetrator.  First, you use the best penetrator you have.  Then you use another, and another, and another.  Then, you make the surface around the target uninhabitable for a few decades.  It’s called “over servicing the target”.  Someone in what used to be Strategic Air Command might be able to dig up old war plans that the current leadership in Washington could use as a template.  If we care enough to bomb the bejeezus out of someone buried in a hole, we ought to at least do it in a way we know will work.  Maybe you can’t get the guys at the bottom of the hole, but you can for sure make it so they can’t come out of it before they run out of air and food.
  • From the “Loose Lips Sink Ships” Department – Secretary of Defense Penetta is publicly wringing his hands about the fate of a Pakistani doctor who is accused of aiding the CIA in pinpointing the location of Osama bin Laden so that Navy SEALs could pay him a courtesy call.  Apparently Pakistan is trying the good doctor for treason, which will probably end up with him taking a short drop with a sudden stop.  That’s strange.   Penetta, Obama, Biden, Clinton, Pelosi, and the rest of the usual gang of idiots weren’t worried about the fate of our servicemembers, intelligence agents, and information sources in the days after bin Laden was introduced to the business end of American ordnance.  Now that there’s no publicity to be gained by not only admitting that we did it and giving a blow by blow “No kidding, there I was” timeline and script for the raid, but also possibly giving Hollywood a quick look at the action shots of the raid and how it was planned, everyone’s worried about what might happen to someone who may or may not have helped us.  How about Penetta hangs whoever told the press about the fact that the good doctor was at all involved up by their thumbs, and then I’ll believe that he’s serious in his worry. Until then, I’m a little cynical about it.
  • From the “Some Animals Are More Equal” Department – A state legislator in Colorado is coming under fire for reportedly being let off the hook for a DUI because she mentioned to police at the scene that she was in the legislature.  Colorado law prevents the arrest of legislators travelling to and from state business, probably so that members of the loyal opposition aren’t thrown in jail to keep them away from their jobs.  She is claiming that she did not get let go with a traffic ticket and a cab ride home because she’s a state Senator.  If that is how Colorado handles all DUI’s, I’ll buy that.  If not, then she’s got some ‘splaining to do and there’s a law in Colorado that needs amending.

30 Days of Reagan – Day 26

We will never forget them, nor the last time we saw them — this morning, as they prepared for their journey, and waved good-bye, and “slipped the surly bonds of earth” to “touch the face of God.”

Today’s Earworm

Firearms Owners Freedom Act – A Modest Proposal

A Bill

To restore constitutionally protected firearms rights to lawful firearms owners and other purposes

Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled,

SECTION 1. SHORT TITLE.

    This Act may be cited as `Firearms Owners Freedom Act’.

SEC. 2. FINDINGS. 

The Congress finds the following:

    (1)  The Second Amendment to the United States Constitution guarantees and protects an individual right to keep and bear arms for all citizens of the United States. 
    (2).  The Fourteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution, Section 1, guarantees and protects equal treatment under the law for all citizens of the United States.
    (3). Article I, Section 8, Clause 3 of the United States Constitution grants the power to regulate interstate commerce and collect taxes to the Federal government.
    (4).  The National Firearms Act of 1934 and the codes and regulations enacted to fulfill it currently contain an unreasonable restriction on firearms accessories that suppress the noise of the firearm discharging.
    (5).  The Gun Control Act of 1968 and the codes and regulations enacted to fulfill it contain unreasonable restrictions on the lawful and constitutional interstate commerce of firearms.
    (6).  Several states, territories, and the District of Columbia impose onerous restrictions on the right to keep and bear arms by requiring a license to own a firearm but still receive funds paid as excise taxes by citizens when purchasing firearms and ammunition.
SEC. 3. SAFETY EQUIPMENT TO REDUCE NOISE OF FIREARMS
United States Code Title 25, Chapter 53 shall be amended to remove any reference to silencers or suppressors.  Existing licensed suppressors shall no longer require licensing to own.  All future sales of suppressors shall be done in the same manner as other firearms, with no need for additional licensing nor taxation.

SEC. 4. INTERSTATE COMMERCE IN FIREARMS

United States Code, Title 18, Chapter 44, Section 922 shall be amended to remove language that restricts the interstate commerce of firearms, ammunition, and firearms accessories by anyone other than restricted persons.  The requirement that interstate commerce in firearms, ammunition, and firearms accessories require a Federal Firearms License shall be dropped.

SEC 5.  USE OF MONEY FROM FIREARMS EXCISE TAXES IN RESTRICTIVE JURISDICTIONS

United States Code, Title 16, Chapter 5b, Section 669 shall be amended to include the following paragraph:

No funds collected as excise taxes on the manufacture or sales of firearms, ammunition, or firearms accessories shall be dispersed to states, territories, or districts that require a license in any form to keep and bear arms.  The Secretary of the Interior and the Secretary of the Treasury shall jointly determine on a quarterly basis which, if any, of the states, territories, or districts of the United States shall have their share of excise taxes withheld.  Any withheld funds shall be held by the government of the United States until such time as the effected state, territory, or district shall drop such firearms licensing requirements.


Y’all, that’s just 477 words that would restore a lot of our gun rights.  There would be some proforma stuff added to the top and bottom, and I’m sure it would be cut up, thoroughly blended, and have amendments added to it before it got out of Congress, but if the core survived, I’d be a much happier gun owner.

First, Congress declares publicly and no uncertain terms that the legislative branch agrees with the judicial branch that the Second Amendment guarantees an individual right to keep and bear arms.

Next, it removes the part of NFA ’34 that makes putting a muffler on the end of your gun barrel something that requires paperwork, months of waiting, and a yearly tax.

Then it makes it possible again to buy and sell firearms across state lines.  That does two things:  First, you can buy a handgun while you’re in another state and not have to go through the hassle of finding an FFL on both end of the transaction to ship it home.  Next, if city or state makes it difficult to have a gun by making it exceedingly difficult to be an FFL, you can cross state lines to buy a gun.

Finally, while not telling states that they have to drop licensing requirements to own a gun, which would violate the 10th Amendment to the Constitution, the act tells those states that as long as they require a license to exercise a right, they won’t be getting the money from the excise taxes on firearms and ammunition.  Want the money from firearms owners to pay for your parks and such?  Then treat firearms owners as first class citizens and adults.

What do y’all think?

Happy Birthday WAM!

No, not that horrid act by George Michael and the other guy. I’m talking about Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, who was born on this date in 1756.  His music has inspired and entertained people since he was BooBoo’s age.

So raise a glass and give an ear to one of my favorite composers.

30 Days of Reagan – Day 25

It’s true hard work never killed anyone, but I figure, why take the chance?

My Take – Sounds like a good plan for the weekend to me!

New Car Line

Recently the People’s Collective Automotive Fabrik announced a new car line:  The “Pendejo“.  The line will include several models:

  1. Pendejo Rapido – This model consists of the frame and body from a 1980’s muscle car, bolted-on extra fins and a spoiler, extremely stiff suspension and steering,  a huge V16 mid-body engine, a cosmetic blower in the hood, and one heck of a stereo to drown out the road and engine noise.  It will also include an “auto-stick” transmission so you can pretend you’re driving a standard transmission, even though you may never do anything but put it in park, reverse, and drive.  It will be marketed at people who saw “Cannonball Run” and “Fast and Furious” one too many times.  It will allow the driver to leave 15 feet of tire marks at intersections both stopping and starting, whip in and out of traffic, and cut off school buses.  This car screams “Live fast, die young!”.
  2. Pendejo Verde HTS – This model is a plug-in, electric, low emissions, recyclable, sustainable commuter car with a range of about 15 miles.  The car is composed of two recombinant recumbent bicycles welded to three ironing boards, with the trickle charger from a 1978 Winnebago connected to a bank of lithium batteries.  The body is made up of synthetic materials made out of recycled two-liter pop bottles and aluminum parts made from sintered ground-up Schlitz malt liquor cans.  This sporty two seater is furnished with airliner chairs taken out of old DC-8’s, with a small cargo area big enough to carry not just one, but two loaves of organic, whole-grain, shade grown, high fiber, low carb, artisanal focaccia.  HTS stands for “Hipster Transport System” and that is the target market for this little beauty. Sure, any collision in this deathtrap at over 2 miles an hour will leave the occupants looking like underdone lasagna, but who wants to live forever?  As an added bonus, when the lithium batteries go critical after an accident, the carcasses of the occupants will become totally organic ash that will fertilize the byways of America for generations to come.
  3. Pendejo Grande – This is the largest of the models in this line.  It will be marketed to middle-aged parents who want the convenience of a station wagon or minivan, but don’t want to be seen in one.  The vehicle is the body and frame of a 1990’s vintage minivan, with the suspension jacked up about a foot and a half, big knobby tires, bolted on extended wheel wells and headlight frames, deer stalker lights on the front of the cab, a hitch capable of towing a 155mm cannon, and a diesel engine salvaged from a garbage truck, but without the muffler.   American Moms and Dads will be able to pick up the kids from school, go to the grocery store, and haul all the groceries, soccer gear, Cub Scout equipment, and a load of mulch for the front yard confident that no-one will mistake them for someone who grew up and had kids.  This beast will come in coyote brown, OD green, and matte-black.  Accessories will include luggage containers that bolt to the included rooftop cargo rack that double as sails in high winds.  
Remember this name:  Pendejo – The car that matches your personality!