I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave. — Labrynth

It’s not difficult to get those who wish to rule over you to do what you want.  All it takes is total subordination of your will and your freedom to their whim.  After you do that, they will make sure you have everything you need in order to follow their orders.

That’s why freedom is so hard.  Very few people are going to help you out unless there is something to be gained from it.  Doing for yourself and jealously guarding your rights means you have to stand on your own, always.  Putting yourself in debt to someone else for what you need or want makes them your master.

He’s whittlin’ on a piece of wood. I’ve got a feeling when he stops whittlin’… Somethin’s gonna happen.  — Once Upon A Time In The West

“Sleep on it” is some of the best advice I’ve ever heard.  It’s always better to take a step back, take a deep breath, think for a while, then come to an important decision.  If you’re angry, take a breather before acting.  If you’re still angry after a few minutes or a few hours, then feel free to raise the black flag and take no prisoners.

 If you could change something in your life, anything at all, what would it be?  — The Sixth Sense

Honestly, if given the choice to go back and change my life, I wouldn’t.  My life’s not perfect, but it has some perfect aspects.

Let’s say I could go back to Christmastime 1990 and stop myself from getting involved with my first wife.  That little detail alone would have saved me over two decades of trouble.  But she led to my oldest, and her absence led to my second wife, who came with Little Bear and Girlie Bear.  Missing out on them would have meant I never would have moved to Kentucky, which means no Irish Woman or Boo.

No amount of missed grief is worth losing the best parts of my life.

I used to have thoughts of how much easier life would be had x not happened or y happened differently.  But to dwell on the past is to miss out on today.  It can also poison your future.  A lot of people I know who have thrown away their families talk about how they were trapped into them or cheated of a good life.  Yeah, my life isn’t perfect, but it’s worth remembering just how good I have it.

Chief O’Hallorhan: We’ll go down by rope. We’re gonna rappel down to 65, get on top of that elevator, use it as an exit.
Young Fireman: I can’t make it. I’ll fall. I know I’ll fall.
Chief O’Hallorhan: Okay. Then you better go first. That way when you fall, you won’t take any of us with you.

— The Towering Inferno

There are really two ways to fail:  lack of ability and failure to try.

If someone lacks the ability to do a task, it can usually be corrected through coaching, and practice.  “I can’t” normally equates to “I can’t, yet.”  This may even be a case where someone cannot imagine doing something, so they assume that they aren’t able to do it.  When pressed either by gentle coaching or harsh reality, these people always seem shocked when they realize the extent of their capabilities.  That’s probably where the “New Shooter Grin” comes from.  True, there are limits to what anyone can do, no matter how much they learn and train, but those limits are usually beyond where they will normally have to perform, be it on a playing field, in a job, or in a classroom.  Their limits are usually far beyond what they themselves thought they were.

The second way to fail, failure to try, is infuriating to me.  In this case “I can’t” means “I don’t want to.”  I’m not talking about the occasional urge to sleep in or go fishing on a nice day.  I’m talking about the lifelong habit of letting others carry the weight, or at most, doing the minimum to get by.

These people usually need a psychological slap to get them moving, and telling them exactly how they will fit into a larger plan will sometimes do that.  That goes double when you explain how their self-confessed inability is going to delegate them to something unpleasant.   It’s amazing how quickly someone grows an ability when lack of it makes their lives harder.  “I can’t” becomes “I’ll try”, which in turn becomes “This sucks.  What do I have to do to get a better life?”

Of course, there will always be those who find a way to live with being on the bottom rung, but then again, the world needs tackling dummies and impact pads too.