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Today’s Earworm

Today’s Earworm

Musings

  • Not sure which indicates that I’m getting older more – The fact that I looked forward to going to breakfast yesterday at Cracker Barrel with Irish Woman, or my excitement in seeing that the polymer/wood rocking chairs were on sale out front.
  • 30 years ago this month, I felt a rather large sense of accomplishment at successfully completing a really ugly assignment. Today, I felt almost as good at having both the dishes and the laundry caught up at the same time.
    • All I’m saying is that 20-something old me would never have been pleased to see that quarts of beef and chicken broth were on sale for less than $1 at Kroger.
  • I found out just how much of a light weight I’ve become last night, as my neighbor served me two small servings of bourbon and I woke up feeling like I’d been on a 4 day bender.
    • Not sure if I should remedy that with more exercise of my alcohol consumption faculties or not.
  • Starting to think about what to grow in the raised beds this year. I’m considering going full all-spikes-no-food to get back at the critters that decided I didn’t need tomatoes last year.
  • In other news, the local deer were very grateful for the bowl of too-old-to-use apples I tossed into the side yard, but wanted me to know that the bird feeders need refilling.

Today’s Earworm

This movie was released 40 years ago this week. If you saw it in theaters, it’s time to start scheduling regular checkups with various medical professionals.

Musings

  • Well, after two years on his high-school bass fishing team, several hundred training trips to a local lake to learn boat handling and casting, several dozen fishing tournaments, most of which included at least one night in a hotel, Boo finally caught a fish. Too small to keep and bring to a weigh-in, but hey, fish.
  • We stayed at the lodge at a nearby state park for this tournament. Even there, Kentucky people couldn’t get away from basketball. I didn’t need to turn on the television to know how things were going due to the exuberance of the rest of the folks staying there.
  • We seem to have finally come to real spring here in IndiUcky. All of the trees are in full bloom and trying to choke me out.
  • When the line to get into the ladies room at a Buccees is 30 deep, you know things have well and truly gone sideways.
  • Boo and I listened to the first part of J.D. Vance’s Hillbilly Elegy on our way back from the lake. You change the early to mid 1990’s to the early 1980’s and change Ohio/Kentucky to North Dakota, and I’m seeing a lot of parallels here.
    • I mentioned to my youngest son that there’s a better than even chance that Mr. Vance might be on the ballot on his first ever presidential vote in 2028, and suddenly felt a bit old.

Morning Report

Good morning, everyone! Welcome to the WBAR Morning News!

First, let’s take a quick look at today’s weather.

It’s going to be a wonderful day here in beautiful Lake Asscrack, Kentucky. We are expecting a high of 82, with an overnight low of 23. You can expect intermittent periods of sunshine between waves of showers and hurricane force winds throughout the day. Remember, there is no bad weather, just bad clothing choices.

This weather report is brought to you by our good friends down at SpurgleMints! SpurgleMints, for when sodium citrate just isnt working fast enough!

Today’s phrase that pays is ‘Mongolian Clusterf$$$’. This is an Anglo Saxon term used to describe something that has been hashed up to an extent that will require its own Wikipedia page to explain to those not blessed to be a witness. Here’s an example of its usage ‘The line up and launch for the Kentucky State High School Bass Fishing Tournament was a real Mongolian Clisterf$$$ this morning.’

In other news, a local man forgot to make sure that both his and his son’s cell phones automatically switched over to Central time zone last night. That means that the 4 AM alarm he set before going to bed last night went off at 3 AM local time. This also meant that they were precisely 1 hour and 15 minutes early for the Mongolian Clusterf$$$ this morning.

And now, we go to Sheila McNiceRack with a breathless report on the NCAA basketball tournament. Sheila is reporting live from whichever dive bar the University of Kentucky at Shepherdsville Fighting Weasels ended up at after their disappointing 28 to 65 loss to the Panama City MudBugs last night. Sheila?

News Roundup

  • From the “And I Don’t Care” Department – A semi truck in Virginia had a bit of a mishap recently, spilling a large quantity of corn near the roadway. Authorities are advising motorists to be wary of local wildlife, such as deer, turkey, and moonshiners, that flock to the area to take advantage of this unexpected largesse.
  • From the “Clippety Clop to the Liquor Shop” Department – Police in Michigan captured a small horse that had broken loose on Saint Patrick’s Day. Locals report that the critter had been listening to The Proclaimers while drowning the shamrock, and just took its message to heart.
  • From the “Home Cooking” Department – Government researchers are asserting that the chemicals released by cooking are contributing a large amount to ozone pollution in Los Angeles. Not sure what that says about the food in L.A, but this reporter questions whether the smell of sizzling steaks, grilled onions, and baking bread are really to blame for the general… issues Los Angeles is dealing with.

Rumblings

  • I didn’t expect to have “Being OK with Germany ramping up their defense spending and manufacturing” on my 2025 bingo card, but here we are.
  • The job search continues.
    • Applying for IT jobs as they come across the dashboard. The less said about that, the better.
    • Got an email this morning asking if I’d be interested in applying to be a uniformed Secret Service officer in Washington, D.C. The salary range they gave was quite good for Kentucky, but would have me living in a rented broom closet in rural Virginia and eating day-old Circle K hot dogs in the D.C area.
    • “Must be willing to temporarily relocate to an undisclosed overseas location” does not make for good feelings on the part of someone who’s walked down that particular trail before.
  • Had another line of thunderboomers come through last night. Ellie the beagle/lab mix cowered under the blankets and required reassurance that the world was not ending. Sophie, the beagle/dachshund mix, stood at the window and raved at the gods, daring them to try to end the world on her watch. Moonshine, the hound emeritus, slept through the whole thing.

Clean the Kitchen Banana Breakfast Casserole

Sausage and eggs or oatmeal just didn’t feel right this morning.

Decided to use up some things that were hanging around instead.

Kind of whooped this up, as my darling Irish Woman would say, so the exact amounts of some of the ingredients may need adjusting the next time I make something like this.

——————————————-

Ingredients –

1 stale buttermilk biscuit

1/2 of a 13×9 pan of cornbread

3 bananas that are enjoying the twilight of their life

Scant 1/4 cup of white sugar, honey, or maple syrup. Adjust to your taste.

2 to 3 tablespoons vegetable oil or melted butter

1 to 2 teaspoons vanilla extract

6 large eggs, beaten

1/2 quart whole milk or half and half

Flavoring to taste (cinnamon, nutmeg, etc.)

Peel bananas and put into mixer. Mix on low speed until fully mashed. Mix in sugar, oil/butter, and vanilla and flavorings. Add in eggs and dairy. Once thoroughly mixed, crumble up biscuit and corn bread and add to mixer. Mix thoroughly until all crumbs are incorporated into wet ingredients.

Grease 13×9 inch pan and pour mixture into pan. Bake at 350 degrees for about 20 minutes until middle is set. Increase heat to 375 for 5 to 10 minutes until top is brown. Allow to cool on rack and serve warm.

Withering Theaters

I’m sitting here and watching a video about the projected miserable performance of Disney’s Snow White remake at the box office. I won’t rehash that debacle, but apparently the House of Mouse is set to lose the GDP of Ghana on that particular film.

Movies over the past few years, for a variety of reasons, have consistently either barely eked out the cost of making them or have actually lost money. Hollywood has stopped being a growth industry. Heck, it’s probably not even a value investment anymore.

Every creative endeavor you want to sell for money is a roll of the dice, but usually those dice can be loaded by having a good story, decent acting and directing, and doing the whole endeavor in a way that makes folks want to shell out for the work, at least once.

In the long run, filmmakers will either get the hint and start making good entertainment that a mass audience wants to see, or they will decline to the point they only make inexpensive films that enough of a tiny audience will see so that they make a little money. Make enough of those, and you can limp along until somebody makes a unicorn of a movie that refills your coffers.

But at the retail end, the local theaters won’t survive long enough for that to happen. Bad movies put fewer butts in seats. Fewer butts in seats mean fewer $15 matinee tickets, $10 buckets of popcorn, and $12 sodas sold. For theaters that operate on a razor thin margin to begin with, that means financial Armageddon, albeit a slow one.

However, I think a lesson from the Covid-19 days could be applied.

During Covid, movie theaters were shut down. There were no matinees for the kids out of school, no date nights that included two hours of not talking to each other, no blockbusters on the huge screen.

However, our local drive-in theater stayed open. If folks are either sitting in the minivan or on lawn chairs in front of the pick-up, they’re far enough apart that the koof cooties couldn’t get them.

At the time, there weren’t any new movies coming out, so the drive-in was showing rereleases of old movies. All the best movies from decades past sold enough tickets to keep the gate open.

And to be honest, it was a good time. Irish Woman and I saw movies we remembered from our childhood, or relived good memories from when we were young and could still be stirred to go out on a Friday night. It was a great way to find entertainment during a bleak time.

I think something like that would be a good way for Hollywood to mine a rich vein of nostalgia while it gets its act together with new, better content.

Let’s take Star Wars, for example. Now, officially, there are nine Star Wars movies in the central saga. Being an Orthodox Jedi household, we don’t hold with Episodes 7, 8, and 9, so we won’t consider them for this thought experiment. Let’s throw in ‘Solo’ and ‘Rogue One’ as well, because they fit in the overall plot line nicely.

That gives us 8 movies to work with. If Disney releases one of them every six weeks, that gives them 48 weeks of theatrical time at little cost to them. Without spending a dime on writing, directing, acting, effects, or editing, Disney can put an iconic saga on the big screen and make profit.

Will it make hundreds of millions of dollars per movie? Probably not. But other than distribution costs and the cost of a few ads on social media, it’s almost all profit for the studio and theaters. A modest profit is better than barely breaking even, at best.

“Iron Man” came out in 2008, and “Endgame” came out in 2019. There is an entire generation of consumers who have never seen the entire MCU on the big screen. Teenagers who have only ever seen the movies on TV or tablet screens wouldn’t line up around the block to get in, but they would line up. There are 30 movies in the MCU. Even if you showed the dreck released after “Endgame”, that’s several years worth of content that looks good on the big screen and would cost a pittance to rerelease.

Heck, if film companies don’t want to stop with the political moralizing, they could run movies that make their point for them. Want to protest against a crackdown on illegal immigration? Rerelease “An American Tail” and let Fievel tell the story of legal immigration. Cinema used to be a subtle way to get your politics in the limelight. Release good movies that make your point, and you might just learn something about how to sway your audience without driving them away.

Hollywood has been putting out mediocre content, salted with gems that touch the human soul, for over 100 years. While they regroup and figure out how to make a product their customers want to buy, Hollywood should polish those gems and put them on display for us. It would at least stop the bleeding until they can figure out how to service their customers rather than insult them.