if when Obama takes the podium on Tuesday, he beings with:

“Excuse me while I whip this out?”

Just a thought

Senator Hillary Clinton, with her buck toothed spawn looking on from the gallery, underwent some gentle questioning by a clearly cowed Senate Foreign Relations Committee. Heck, I wouldn’t push her. She might flip out and go all Carrie on you and the other members of the committee.

She has promised to use her new position of Secretary of State for good, using something called “smart power”.

Here are some examples of what I think of when I imagine Mrs. Clinton using “smart power”

• Heads of foreign leaders exploding after a few moments of agony as Clinton stares at them blankly.
• American ambassadors and diplomats who fail to advance Mrs. Clinton as the future Empress of Earth are killed as she holds out her hand and intones “You have failed me for the last time“.
• United Nations meetings breaking up in a panic as Hillary levitates above the desk, intoning a curse in the language of Mordor.
• The customary kiss on each cheek and handshake upon her arrival at a foreign airport will be replaced by her ordering the local potentate to “Kneel before Zod“.
• Will teach the crowds in the Middle East who chant “Death to America” to instead chant “4 legs good, 2 legs better“

What do y’all think?

It’s been kind of a crappy day for me, but it could be worse.

2000 gallons of raw sewage in a nice neighborhood is probably going to go down as a bad day for most of the residents.

Makes me glad that the worst part of my day was sitting in a meeting with other techies listening to someone drone on about a new testing environment.

On Saturday, I took Girlie Bear out to lunch and a movie. She wanted to see “High School Musical 3”. I would have preferred to shove pencils into my eyes and beat my head against a desk, but since it was her day, I gave in.

Little survival hint here: Get yourself a Coke, some popcorn, and watch a movie on your iPod when you’re at the movies with the kids and it’s sickeningly bad, but they love it.

Not the end of the world, but pretty neat!

Comet Lulin will be coming close enough to the Earth to be visible next month. I’ll have to break out the binoculars and telescope and have an early morning stargazing session with the kids!

Just saw that Tony Dungy is stepping down as head coach of the Indianapolis Colts.

I have to say I’m sad to see him go.

I’m not a Colts fan per se, but since I only live a couple of hours from Indy, I get to see quite a few Colts games every year.

Coach Dungy has always been a calm, strong voice in a sea of yelling and cursing. Even if I don’t support his team, I respect him for refusing to become part of the current wave of anger and cussing that we have become accustomed to on the sidelines.

I wish Coach Dungy well, and hope that he will continue to be a voice of reason in the NFL.

Well, I went 3 and 1 this weekend in my picks.

I watched all of the games, for the most part. I really enjoyed watching the Titans/Ravens game. I love a good close defensive game. Collins needs to learn to lead his receivers when he throws the ball, not the people who are covering him.

Getting in just under the wire for these. Hopefully, I’ll be home in time for the early games both days. I’m taking Girlie Bear to the movies this afternoon and I’m working tomorrow morning.

So here we go:

Baltimore Ravens and the Tennessee Titans – This one is a tough one, so it should be an enjoyable game to watch. The Titans have a great offense, and the Ravens have a great defense. I see the Ravens winning this one.

San Diego Chargers and the Pittsburgh Steelers – Steelers. Totally sentimental pick, but I have gut feeling about this one.

Philadelphia Eagles and the New York Giants – I like the Giants, but I think Philadelphia is peaking at just the right time. Philadelphia wins this one.

Arizona Cardinals and the Carolina Panthers – Carolina, but not for any good reason other than the Cardinals don’t do so well on the road.

Hopefully, I’ll do better than 2 and 2 like I did last weekend.

A man in New York is asking for either the return of the kidney he donated to his soon-to-be ex-wife or $1.5 million.

Good to see someone standing up against injustice like that.

Wonder if I can go back to court with my ex’s to get my dignity back?

I spent my last two years of high school in the Bay Area, and I went through military language training at Monterey. The politics and social problems of California are great, and they all seem to be victim issues.

I saw this link on the Agitator’s blog, and it just reminds me why I’ve only returned to the Bay Area a handful of times since I left.

Here are the facts: Last week, a young man was shot by a Bay Area Rapid Transit (BART) police officer, apparently after the young man was lieing on his stomach with his hands behind his back. The investigation is underway as to whether or not it was due to a negligent discharge or if it was intentional.

Yesterday, a protest was staged at the station where this all occured. You can’t get a speeding ticket in the Bay Area without someone having a protest, but I think this one was pretty legit. Somebody got shot, and there’s a controversy as to whether or not it was necessary. It started off peacefully, but eventually degenerated into a mob that went through the streets, breaking windows, knocking around cars, and setting fires.

The area that this all happened in isn’t exactly a war zone, but you can see the war zone from there. So the people who live and work in that neighborhood aren’t rich people who can just absorb the cost of the damage. So the people of Oakland who feel they have a grievance are taking out their anger, justified or not, out on the very people they live and work with.

The people who were part of the mob didn’t seem to care who they hurt. They broke the windows of a Lexus and of a small business. Their attitude was that they were justified in what they did because they’re tired of black and Latino people being shot by the police.

I don’t get the connection myself. If you’re mad at the police and the government,why are you breaking windows and smashing cars of private citizens, especially ones in your own neighborhood?

Why didn’t any of these property owners try to defend their stores, homes, and cars? Even if you don’t have a gun, a baseball bat or a tire iron is usually enough to get a disorganized mob to move on to something easier to destroy. The people who were interviewed for the story just seemed to want to sit by and cry about it. Another thing about Bay Area people I’ve never understood. They don’t seem to want to stand up for themselves, and love to cry about how the evil government didn’t protect them.

And of course, some of the hippies from Berkeley had to come down and help out with their screeching of slogans, waving of banners, and distributing of literature. I had to deal with these loonies a few times when I was at Monterey. They would demonstrate in front of the Presidio and Fort Ord about how we were destroying the world by being in the Army. It was kind of fun to watch them sit and chant and beat drums while the MP’s waved people through the main gate during one of the many cold foggy/rainy days we had that year.

I’ve decided to just write California, at least the Bay Area, off. I still have family and friends there, and I urge them to leave every time I talk to them. No amount of charm, easy living, good food, and beautiful country is worth having to put up with nuts like this.