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Today’s Earworm

News Roundup

  • From the “Whoopsie!” Department – Two U.S. Navy captains are at pucker factor 7 after a submarine and a destroyer collided off the east coast.  The incident is under investigation, and both craft are moving under their own power.  Thankfully, no-one was hurt in the accident.  In other news, two slots for morale officers at the Antarctic research station have just opened up.  
  • From the “Call the A-Team” Department – The Canadian company that is fabricating the steel that is supposed to be used for the antenna on top of the new World Trade Center is refusing to provide it to the construction company in charge of the project.  It seems that this kerfluffle is related to a dispute over payment for another project.  My sources report that John Claude van Damm, Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Joe Pesci have been placed on alert for “Expendables III:  Men of Steel”.
  • From the “Bad Things” Department – Hundreds of crocodiles escaped from a reptile farm in Vietnam the other day.  Some of them ended up in the pond at a nearby elementary school, which probably went a long way toward keeping those darn kids out of the water.  Only 72 of the reptiles have been recovered, but the company promises to find them all.  They are currently using acoustic equipment to pick up the distinctive ticking sound a crocodile makes in the wild.
  • From the “Silly Old Bear” Department – A honey company in Washington was recently raided, and the thieves made off with 100 pounds of honey.  Authorities believe that the perpetrators were local bears, who are trying to fatten up before the lucky bastards start their winter hibernation.  Seriously, I am jealous.  Do you know how much I would give to eat until I’m fatter, then sleep until March?

And Now, A Silly Poem

You should watch the town hall debate,
Your mind, it may change!
It’s not too late!

I will not watch the town hall debate
while eating pie from a plate
I will not watch the town hall debate
whether it is early or it is late
I will not watch the town hall debate
upon the idiot box
I will not watch the town hall debate
in bare feet or in stripey socks
I do not like town hall debates
The propaganda content, upon my soul, it grates!

Would you listen to it in the truck?
Would you listen to it with a duck?

I would not listen to it in the truck
I would not listen to it with a duck
Leave me alone, I don’t give a ….

Hey, watch your language mate!
You ought to watch the town hall debate!

I will not watch it, and you will see
These two goobers are out of their tree
They talk about caring for the little guy
While they steal a bigger piece of the pie!

You should watch it, be informed!
Ignorance should not be the norm!

I already know what I need:
Upon the trough they want to feed.
Honestly I don’t give a hoot.
Piss they could not pour from a boot!

So leave me be to read some books
And save me from these two schnooks
When zombie Reagan from the grave arises
Then the debate will have some surprises

I’d like to watch them duel
Or smack each other with a stool
The endless zingers and practiced lines
Ought to earn them FCC fines

So, early to bed I shall go
While the pundits argue to and fro
To slumber I shall pass
While they continue to harass

To my fellow patriots, I plead,
Go find something worthwhile to read!

 

Thought for the Day

I really ought to find a different term to describe technology solutions other than “crack house”.

30 Days of Obama – Day 14

You know, I would say Incomplete…but what I would say is the steps that we have taken in saving the auto industry, in making sure that college is more affordable and investing in clean energy and science and technology and research, those are all the things that we are going to need to grow over the long term. — 2012

My Take – College is more affordable?  I guess all that talk about the education bubble I’ve been hearing is just defeatist propaganda perpetrated by the enemies of our glorious forward thinking leaders.  I’m sure that students and parents must be brimming with joy every time they get a letter from their educational institute advising them of a tuition hike that is several times more than the inflation rate.  But the President knows all about education.  He picks a great NCAA basketball tournament bracket, doesn’t he?

And yes, the auto industry has been saved, at least the part of it that couldn’t make it on its own in a competitive marketplace, assuming you don’t count Ford, Mercedes, Hyundai, Toyota, or Kia, all of which seem to be doing really well making cars in the United States without a penny of taxpayer money.  But hey, all those years of loyal service to the President’s party has to earn the UAW something, didn’t they?

And where would we be without all that investment in green energy that President Obama has brought down like rain on a fertile field.  I mean, just this morning, I couldn’t get out of my driveway without stopping to let columns of fuel efficient vehicles, powered by new advanced battery technology that was energized by clean, cheap solar panels bolted any flat surface and windmills that not only generated clean power, but also freshened the air and provided necessary avian carrion for our fragile coyote population.  Except that that didn’t happen, and more money than I or my children will make in our lifetimes might as well have been set on fire, because at least then it could have generated some heat to run a steam turbine and generate some actual electricity.

But you don’t make progress by being stingy with the public funds, now do you?  Unless, of course, you count the amazing amount of innovation that occurred in aviation in the 1920’s and 1930’s when the government wasn’t spending much money on airplanes.  Or maybe you can point to the early years of computer networking, which was indeed funded by DARPA.  But then, DARPAnet was pretty much a government and university only kind of thing for the better part of two decades, until someone figured out how to make some money from web pages, and then the Internet took off.

Yeah, those programs that the President has been so proud of have been really great for the economy and the country, haven’t they?  Four more years of this and we’ll be just where he wants us to be.

Today’s Earworm

Repost – Watch the Hands

This was originally posted on February 17, 2012

 

When I’ve talked to people who know more than I do about self-defense, the thing that I’ve heard more than one person say is “Watch the hands”.  Hands hold weapons, hands point guns, and hands are used to strike the first blow.  Mouths can say things that distract or incite you, eyes can fake you out about intentions.  If you pay attention to what the hands are doing, you have a better chance of knowing what someone is going to do in a confrontation.

President Obama and his supporters are cranking up the rhetoric machine to get their political base whipped up for the 2012 elections.  Their heads are making noises, and the mob is responding.  Maybe it’s promises to finish the work he wanted to do this term but couldn’t because of the evil opposition.  Maybe it’s igniting jealousy about those perceived to have more.

But that’s not what the hands are doing.

The hands are creating “Truth Squads” to disrupt and refute those who oppose the President.

The hands are describing people who prefer to pay cash or keep the government out of their lives as terrorists.

The hands are pushing the limits on constitutionality and decency to see just how far they can go to make us comply.

The hands are circumventing the Congress through executive fiat to do things that the representatives of the people won’t vote for.

The hands are negotiating with the U.N. on treaties that could potentially impinge on our civil rights if the President and Secretary of State can get them through the Senate.

The hands are organizing unions and a rabble to create the perception of mass demonstrations against the President’s opponents.

The hands are implementing economic and fiscal policies that will drive us to poverty and financial slavery for generations.

If we want to unseat President Obama in November, we need to stop listening to his rhetoric and start watching his actions.  We need to recognize and counteract them when they threaten the opposition and the integrity of the process.  We need to make sure that no matter who sits in the White House next January, there are enough Representatives and Senators who don’t belong to the Cult of Obama that they can slowdown or stop harmful things that Obama tries to do in the event that he has a second term.

Because it’s not his silver tongue that’s going to do damage to the Republic, it’s his hands.

Thought for the Day

Life was simpler when my world was defined with engineer tape and land mines.

30 Days of Obama – Day 13

You go into some of these small towns in Pennsylvania, a lot like a lot of small towns in the Midwest, the jobs have been gone now for 25 years and nothing’s replaced them. And they fell through the Clinton administration, and the Bush administration, and each successive administration has said that somehow these communities are gonna regenerate and they have not. So it’s not surprising then that they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy towards people who aren’t like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations. — 2008

My Take – As a citizen who comes from one of those small towns in the midwest, where for a long time jobs were hard to find, but people held on through the lean years with hard work and taking care of each other, the President can kiss my bitter, clinging butt.  While those of us in fly over country kept our faith in ourselves, in our country, in our heritage, and in our religion, our ‘betters’ in the more ‘enlightened’ parts of the country have been promising the profits of our labor to three generations of people who think that welfare is a career, not a temporary situation.   I hate to break it the President, but it’s those of us who refuse to let go of the bedrock upon which our country was founded and built that keep the wheels on while profligate twits like him debate how many welfare cheats can dance on the head of a pin.

Repost – Taxpayer

This was originally published on September 24, 2011.

 

Emperor Obamadus stepped onto the sand of the coliseum.  His faithful guards of the Pressorian Guard parted to make way so that he could step into the ring they had formed around the taxpayers he wished to address.  He looked down his nose at them through the teleprompter that floated before his face.

“Rise, rise”, he said to the taxpayers who had been brought almost to their knees for him.  The Taxpayers wearily rose to their full height, the dust of the coliseum running in lines of sweat down their weathered faces.  The Emperor turned to the tall one who still wore his helmet.
“Your fame is well deserved, Norwegian.  My wife insists that you are Ayers reborn.  Or was it Chomsky?  No matter.  Why doesn’t the great hero of the people reveal himself and give us his name?” he said half interestedly, studying his nails as the words flowed across the teleprompter.
“My name is Taxpayer”, said the Norwegian as he turned his back and started to walk towards the barracks.
“How dare you turn your back on me?”, the Emperor whined.  “Slave!  You will remove your mask and tell me your name!”
The Norwegian slowly turned back towards the Emperor.  He took a deep breath, then reached up and slowly pulled his helmet off.  The Emperor took a step back upon seeing his face and the look of utter disdain upon it.
“I am DaddyBearus Scipio Americanus, Guardian of the Republic, veteran of campaigns in Germania and Dalmatia, and loyal servant to the true image of our nation Constitutionus Invictus.  Descendant of true immigrants who worked for a living, father to children who will toil their entire lives to pay for your excesses, husband to a disillusioned wife, and I will have my revenge, in this election or the next.” the Norwegian hissed, looking the Emperor in his widening eyes.
The Emperor blanched as his teleprompter cracked.  He quickly turned around and moved to the exit as quickly as he could without breaking into a run.
DaddyBearus nodded to the Pressorian Guards and walked with his fellow Taxpayers back to their place of dwelling.  Now that the Emperor knew that he still lived, the job of throwing him out of office had become both easier and more interesting.
With apologies to Ridley Scott and Russell Crowe.