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Musings

  • Things I am not allowed to say aloud at the mall:
    • If that woman gets one more face lift, she’s going to have a goatee.
    • Look, sweetheart, they’re having a sale at the maternity store!
    • Do you want weasel on a stick or deep fried weasel wrapped in pretzel?
    • Is that the sushi bar or the foot massage place I smell?
  • Only Satan would put the Lego store next to the Apple store. But, I will forgive them for the new Apollo 11 set. Now, how do I justify $100 for a bunch of legos?
  • If I walk past four empty booths to get to your hostess station, don’t tell me there won’t be a table-for-two available for 35 minutes.
  • They say don’t eat your feelings. I say eat something so that your feelings don’t slip their leash and consume the world.
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3 Comments

  1. Not Weasel. Rat. Believe me, I’ve worked in a mall. Lots and lots of rats.

  2. OldNFO

     /  July 14, 2019

    Monkey meat on a stick was usually rat. High in Vitamin A. 🙂

    • I learned long ago to not ask what kind of meat it was while visiting 3rd world shitholes. I just made sure it was very well done and I had a bottle of Texas Pete with me at all times.

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