This one comes from my uncle, who is probably one of the few folks who can still talk through my stubbornness.
- You know how to polka, but never tried it sober….
- You know what knee-high by the Fourth of July means.
- You know it is traditional for the bride and groom to go bar hopping between the reception and wedding dance.
- You know the difference between ‘Green’ and ‘Red’ farm machinery, and would fight with your friends on the playground over which was better!
- You buy Christmas presents at Fleet Farm or Tractor Supply Co.
- You spent more on beer & liquor than you did on food at your wedding.
- You hear someone use the word ‘oof-dah’ or ‘Holy Buckets’ and you don’t break into uncontrollable laughter.
- You or someone you know was a ‘Beef Queen or Dairy Princess’ at the county fair.
- You know that ‘combine’ is a noun.
- You let your older siblings talk you into putting your tongue on a steel post in the middle of winter, or peeing on an electric fence.
- You think Lutheran and Catholic are THE major religions.
- You know that ‘creek’ rhymes with ‘pick’
- Football schedules, branding calves and weaning, hunting season and harvest are all taken into consideration before wedding dates are set.
- If the sun is out, it’s really windy, and you’re getting wet… better get on upwind side of the livestock.
- A Friday night date is getting a six-pack and taking your girlfriend shining for deer.
- Saturday you go to your local bowling alley.
- Cruising ‘main’ lasts for 6 blocks.
- There was at least one kid in your class who had to help milk cows in the morning… phew!
- You have driven your car on a lake.
- You can make sense of ‘upnort’ and ‘batree’.
- Every wedding dance you have ever been to has the hokey pokey and the chicken dance.
- Your definition of a small town is one that only has one bar.
- If a road you’re driving on has more than 3 curves to a mile… you are nearing or in the Badlands.
- Your vocabulary still includes, ‘Yes, Ma’am’ and ‘No, Sir’
- The local gas station sells live bait, next to the local jerked beef and homemade jam.
- At least twice a year some part of your home doubles as a meat processing plant.
- You understand that brakes on silage trucks are considered a luxury.
- ‘Bulldoggin” is an event.
- As the American flag passes, you are on your feet and have removed your hat, your hand is over your heart, or someone behind you gives you a slap on the head as a reminder to do so.
- You grow up thinking that the opening day of deer & pheasant seasons are national holidays.
- You understand the true meaning to ‘snipe’ hunting.
- Pop is the only name used for a soft drink.
- The trip into town for school, takes longer than your lunch period.
- ‘Crown Royal’ has nothing to do with nobility.
- Someone in your family has the complete Lawrence Welk LP collection.
- Lime Jell-O salad is a part of special dinners.
- Most of the kids in your school had German, Scandinavian, or Russian last names.
- Generals U.S. Grant, George A. Custer, and Douglas MacArthur are considered national heroes.
OldNFO
/ April 6, 2018LOL, yep there is a Southern version of that too…
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daddybear71
/ April 6, 2018You betcha!
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MaddMedic
/ April 6, 2018Sir.
You forgot Fishing Opener IS a Holiday.
And.
Hot-dishes are a delicacy….Geeze..
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Drang
/ April 6, 2018Most of those apply to large parts of Michigan.
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redneckmp
/ April 7, 2018you beat me to it
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John in Philly
/ April 6, 2018Oddly for a Philly boy, and due to my Texan father, my pronunciation of “creek” also rhymes with “pick.”
And equally odd for a Philly boy, and due to several summers working for the State of Pennsylvania as a farm hand at the local mental institution, I know a huge amount about general farming and a lot about dairy farming.
Thus, my career plans at a very early age included neither farming, nor dairy farming.
Not kidding about the “farm hand at the local mental institution” either.
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jon spencer
/ April 8, 2018You know what a feed store is, you have a favorite feed store, they and the stores cat know you.
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