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How to know if you grew up in the Upper Midwest:  Minnesota,Wisconsin, North Dakota, South Dakota, or Iowa.

This one comes from my uncle, who is probably one of the few folks who can still talk through my stubbornness.

  1. You know how to polka, but never tried it sober….
  2. You know what knee-high by the Fourth of July means.
  3. You know it is traditional for the bride and groom to go bar hopping between the reception and wedding dance.
  4. You know the difference between ‘Green’ and ‘Red’ farm machinery, and would fight with your friends on the playground over which was better!
  5. You buy Christmas presents at Fleet Farm or Tractor Supply Co.
  6. You spent more on beer & liquor than you did on food at your wedding.
  7. You hear someone use the word ‘oof-dah’ or ‘Holy Buckets’ and you don’t break into uncontrollable laughter.
  8. You or someone you know was a ‘Beef Queen or Dairy Princess’ at the county fair.
  9. You know that ‘combine’ is a noun.
  10. You let your older siblings talk you into putting your tongue on a steel post in the middle of winter, or peeing on an electric fence.
  11. You think Lutheran and Catholic are THE major religions.
  12. You know that ‘creek’ rhymes with ‘pick’
  13. Football schedules, branding calves and weaning, hunting season and harvest are all taken into consideration before wedding dates are set.
  14. If the sun is out, it’s really windy, and you’re getting wet… better get on upwind side of the livestock.
  15. A Friday night date is getting a six-pack and taking your girlfriend shining for deer.
  16. Saturday you go to your local bowling alley.
  17. Cruising ‘main’ lasts for 6 blocks.
  18. There was at least one kid in your class who had to help milk cows in the morning… phew!
  19. You have driven your car on a lake.
  20. You can make sense of ‘upnort’ and ‘batree’.
  21. Every wedding dance you have ever been to has the hokey pokey and the chicken dance.
  22. Your definition of a small town is one that only has one bar.
  23. If a road you’re driving on has more than 3 curves to a mile… you are nearing or in the Badlands.
  24. Your vocabulary still includes, ‘Yes, Ma’am’ and ‘No, Sir’
  25. The local gas station sells live bait, next to the local jerked beef and homemade jam.
  26. At least twice a year some part of your home doubles as a meat processing plant.
  27. You understand that brakes on silage trucks are considered a luxury.
  28. ‘Bulldoggin” is an event.
  29. As the American flag passes, you are on your feet and have removed your hat, your hand is over your heart, or someone behind you gives you a slap on the head as a reminder to do so.
  30. You grow up thinking that the opening day of deer & pheasant seasons are national holidays.
  31. You understand the true meaning to ‘snipe’ hunting.
  32. Pop is the only name used for a soft drink.
  33. The trip into town for school, takes longer than your lunch period.
  34. ‘Crown Royal’ has nothing to do with nobility.
  35. Someone in your family has the complete Lawrence Welk LP collection.
  36. Lime Jell-O salad is a part of special dinners.
  37. Most of the kids in your school had German, Scandinavian, or Russian last names.
  38. Generals U.S. Grant, George A. Custer, and Douglas MacArthur are considered national heroes.

 

 

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8 Comments

  1. OldNFO

     /  April 6, 2018

    LOL, yep there is a Southern version of that too…

  2. MaddMedic

     /  April 6, 2018

    Sir.
    You forgot Fishing Opener IS a Holiday.
    And.
    Hot-dishes are a delicacy….Geeze..

  3. Most of those apply to large parts of Michigan.

  4. John in Philly

     /  April 6, 2018

    Oddly for a Philly boy, and due to my Texan father, my pronunciation of “creek” also rhymes with “pick.”
    And equally odd for a Philly boy, and due to several summers working for the State of Pennsylvania as a farm hand at the local mental institution, I know a huge amount about general farming and a lot about dairy farming.
    Thus, my career plans at a very early age included neither farming, nor dairy farming.
    Not kidding about the “farm hand at the local mental institution” either.

  5. jon spencer

     /  April 8, 2018

    You know what a feed store is, you have a favorite feed store, they and the stores cat know you.

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