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  • Derby and I need to sit down and have a heart-to-heart chat about why I don’t let brunettes sit in my lap and kiss my ear.
    • At least, not any more.
  • Either the presidential motorcade was driving down the freeway on my way home tonight, or every policeman in the county was dealing with the fact that folks around here can’t drive.
  • Remember – It is rarely necessary to apologize for your children acting like children, especially to someone who has several of his own.
  • I better get credit for not using the phrase “I’ve been doing this job since before your father was dumpster diving for soda cans so he could pay off your mother’s pimp” when talking with a fellow human being.
  • I got lost trying to follow a short-cut to Boo’s school this evening.
    • You see, here in the sorta-south, directions include phrases like ‘Go up until you get to that pasture where that big walnut tree used to be, but now it’s a subdivision.  Take that next left, right after the church.”
    • Where I come from, our road system was plotted out with a compass and a plumb line, so directions read like “Go up three intersections, take a left, go down five intersections, take a right, and you’ll be there.”
    • Guess which method of road layout I prefer.
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  1. John in Philly

     /  May 11, 2017

    Directions. After living in the same house for 35 years or so I have realized I no longer know the names of most streets, I just know where the landmarks are. Once in a while this is driven home when I am outside and someone stops for directions. I have said things like, “Go to the stop sign and turn right, then left at the Wawa, bear right under the railroad bridge……”

    I do like the whole GPS thing as long as you have common sense.


  2. suz

     /  May 11, 2017

    Directions! Heh!
    As a visiting nurse, I always confirm the address with my patient, and then I ask what color house do they have. It is truly scary how few folks know what color house they have lived in for decades (many of them), but they know what color car/truck/camper is in the front yard.

    I have always been glad Dad taught me about trees, and how to tell the different ones apart. Most folks will say “we have a ____ tree in the front yard.” Fill in oak, maple, elm, walnut, pine, etc.

    I think it should be part of the dementia testing to ask “what color house do you live in?”…lol.


  3. LOL, ah yes, ‘Southern’ directions…


  4. Regarding insults;

    I’ve always been partial to “And did your father happen to mention his name to you mother on the night that he spent with her?”


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