• Archives

  • Topics

  • Meta

  • Coming Home
  • Quest To the North
  • Via Serica
  • Tales of the Minivandians
  • Join the NRA

    Join the NRA!

An Open Letter

Dear Teachers of America,

Make up your minds.  Yet again, I am buying another calculator for a high school student because none of the myriad ones I’ve purchased in the past decade work for your class.  Seriously, do you all own stock in Texas Instruments or something?   Can’t someone just put out in 9th grade which calculator a student will need for the four years of math and let us just bite the bullet then?  I’ve purchased more computing power than NASA used to get to the moon, and I’m approaching their budget in doing it!

In addition, I am buying my third edition of Beowulf, because y’all can’t decide which translation you like.  I understand that the days of a school having the books necessary for the students’ education are long gone, and I’m pretty much OK with paying for them out-of-pocket.  But can y’all get together on one of those ‘professional development’ days and decide which editions, translations, and paper tensile strength you want to use in your class?

Also, I don’t mind buying school supplies for my children, no matter how bizarre.  I’m not sure why my child needs to bring in three reams of copy paper, two rolls of paper towels, a pack of dry erase markers, and the dried left big toe of a hoary Himalayan hammerhead hedgehog, but if you tell me it’s necessary, I’ll fight the hordes of other parents and get them.  All I ask is that the supplies I buy go to my child.  If I’m buying the two packs of neon-bright, hand-rolled artisanal crayons you mandate on the supplies list, then my child should have those two packs.  Putting them in one big tub and letting everyone else’s kid use them isn’t right.  And to be honest, I don’t care if there are other children who can’t afford Crayolas and Indian Head writing tablets.  I’ll pay a little more in tuition for the school to buy a couple rolls of butcher paper and a couple bags of generic charcoal briquets for those kids whose parents prefer to spend their money on tattoos and cases of canned domestic beer.  See?  I can be reasonable.  I SAID I CAN BE REASONABLE!

In closing, please get yourselves together.  I respect the heck out of you for what you do.  Trust me, I couldn’t do it without becoming a raging alcoholic or collapsing from septic shock after spending eight hours a day with the little lunatic petri dishes.  Just please stop finding ways to drain my wallet and my sanity.

Respectfully,

Daddy J. Bear

Suffering parent

Previous Post

3 Comments

  1. Now you know they are going to s**t all over you for that sentiment… You should be bowing and scraping that they are even ‘willing’ to ‘teach’ your children… And they probably DO have stock in TI, Bounty and Crayola…

  2. To the “Education Professionals” of America,

    You aren’t a Profession. There are only three of those; Medicine, Law, and Divinity. You apparently aren’t teachers, either. What you are is ed-school drones turned public parasites. The less you interfere with how I am educating my spawn, the happier you are going to be, because if you climb on your “I’m an Education Professional” high horse, I WILL jack you up.

    If you are lucky, and keep your yap shut and your head down, you MIGHT manage to make it to retirement before the entire Public Education Controlled by a Public Employee Union scam blows up. That way you might escape prosecution.

  3. You think it’s bad now-just wait till she’s off to college…

%d bloggers like this: