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Pro Tip on Parenting

Ladies, if you have a court order that requires you to administer a breathalyzer to your ex before you leave your toddler alone with him, you’ve made some bad life choices.  If you administer said breathalyzer to your ex, and he blows a .18 (legally drunk to drive is .08 in Kentucky), and you still leave your offspring with him, you just made another bad life choice.

Guys, if your ex is required to breathalyze you before you are allowed to take custody of your child, you haven’t made bad life choices, you have a problem, you are a problem, and you need to change your life, paco tiempo.  If you blow a .18 when she brings the sprog over for a visit, then you shouldn’t let her leave you alone with the kid.  If your kid is found wandering the neighborhood at 10 PM, you pass out so soundly that the neighbors and police cannot awaken you, and you blow a .290 at the jail, then you win the DaddyBear Memorial Bad Parent Award for 2014.  Congratulations.

Kids, if your parents act like this, you have my sympathy.  Good luck, and God bless.

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3 Comments

  1. Oh, good Lord. These people should have won Darwin awards long before having bred.

  2. Lazy Bike Commuter

     /  July 31, 2014

    Yes, I did on a few occasions accompany a friend of mine to drop off her kids with her ex, who was required to meet her at the state police station in case he did anything evil.

    I have never understood why they give any custody in any form to parents who have to have these rules around them.

  3. Corey

     /  July 31, 2014

    isn’t .18 like legally dead of alcohol poisoning

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