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If You Give A Bear a Mossberg

If you give a bear a Mossberg 590, he’s probably going to want to put a few doodads on it.

If you let him put some doodads on his shotgun, he’ll want a Magpul SGA stock so he can do a better job of wrapping his paws around it.

If you give him a Magpul SGA stock for his Mossberg, the bear is going to want to put the neat MOE fore-end on it, because it’ll match.

If you give him an MOE fore-end, he’s going to want to put a sling adaptor on it, because the stock comes with one, and a shotgun gets heavy when you carry it all day.

If you get him the sling adaptor, he’s going to want a 3 point sling, because operators use one when they’re operating operationally.

If you get him the sling, he’s going to notice that sometimes you have to shoot at night, so he’s going to want a Streamlight 7000 lumen flashlight to put on the fore-end.

If you give him the Streamlight 7000 lumen flashlight, he’s going to want a laser to go on the other side of the MOE fore-end, because it will help to aim.

If you give him a laser for his shotgun, he’s going to take it to the range and shoot it.

If he takes it to the range and shoots it, he’s going to notice all the doodads make the gun heavier and not as much fun to shoot.

If he notices that the gun is a bit heavy and not a lot of fun to shoot, he’s going to ask you for a Remington 870, because that’s what all his friends have, and you can never have too many shotguns.

And if you give him a Remington 870, chances are he’s going to want to put a few doodads on it.


  1. Shane W

     /  March 11, 2014

    Its a 590. Don’t tell me you forgot the bayonet?!?! 🙂

    • This one was one of the sub models that doesn’t have the bayonet lug. Shame, that.

      • Shane W

         /  March 11, 2014

        It is, but its still a fine weapon. I’ve had my eye on one for awhile now. Just haven’t pulled the trigger, so to speak.

  2. I’m in awe of your expertise, wisdom and knowledge.
    Now the only question is “Does the Chief Financial Officer ” of the Marriage go along with this plan or foil it?

    • I was poking fun at myself. I bought the shotgun a few months ago, shot it for the first time last night, and by the time I had gone to bed had a shopping list of stuff to hang off of it. Luckily, I woke up this morning and decided to not spend a couple hundred more dollars to ‘improve’ a perfectly useful implement. To quote pdb, is fine.

      • I thought it was an instructional on how to get multiple firearms 🙂
        Figured you had it down and I was going to try to sell that process on my CFO (wife). Of course since her favorite weapon of choice is a 12 gauge, I might have different problems

      • We all need to learn how to share. 😉

  3. oldnfo

     /  March 11, 2014

    Do I sense a ‘do loop’ here??? 🙂

  4. John in Philly

     /  March 12, 2014

    Yep! And the same thing applies to the AR platform, and owning multiple ARs make it ever so much worse, “But honey, all the cool kids have a neutron oscillating ballistic compensator on their rifles!”

  5. Frank the Wanderer

     /  March 12, 2014

    We all get it, to some degree. Bought my first M1A fifteen years ago and had the same “problem”- sight covers, bipod, and so on. It woulda looked keen in a display case, though.

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