North brings us something so simple and beautiful that I can’t describe it. Go read it.
All posts for the month November, 2011
Must be something in my eye
Posted by daddybear71 on November 26, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/11/26/must-be-something-in-my-eye/
News Roundup
- From the “Hockey Stick” Department – A study by the National Science Foundation has concluded that the planet is indeed warming, but the impact of human activities has been, shall we say, overstated. No word yet on whether or not we can expect to see a dime of the money we’ve spent on ‘green’ technology and reducing our carbon footprints returned to us. But I’m a starry-eyed optimist, so here’s hoping that the Obama administration will admit errors and publicly shame Al Gore on the Washington Mall.
- From the “Cut Out the Middle Man” Department – Pakistan and China recently finished a joint military exercise. Let’s see, we’re borrowing money China to give to Pakistan in foreign aid so they can give the money back to China to pay for weapons and exercises. Why don’t we just ask China to give the money directly to Pakistan and save on the interest payments? Seems to me that would be more honest on the part of our Pakistani “allies” too.
- From the “Government Efficiency” Department – The Russian government has budgeted $8 million for the construction of a website for young people. The site will be used to teach them about Russian history. For that much money, couldn’t you just hire a few teachers to go around Russia and talk to students about history? For 8 million, it ought to be designed and executed by Pixar. Then again, this is the same government whose idea of a snow plow was 10 guys with shovels and a dump truck, so what do I know?
- From the “Fox News is Hiring” Department – A Russian news anchor has been fired after she flipped the bird at the camera while talking about President Obama. I don’t think she should be fired for this. Honestly, I’ve flipped the bird at my TV when the president is being discussed so often I’m worried that Boo might pick up the habit. Why should she be penalized for doing it on the supply side of TV when I do it so often on the consumer side?
Posted by daddybear71 on November 25, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/11/25/news-roundup-63/
Market of Destruction
Now, let me tell you tales of high adventure……
DaddyBear the Minivandian looked up from his scroll of wisdom as his mate approached him.
“Mate of mine, I tire of the flesh of the semi-flightless bird. The children and I would like to eat meat pies made in the style of the Italians tonight.” Irish Woman purred as she laid her delicate hand upon his shoulder.
“Of course, love of my life. Do you wish to prepare this delicacy yourself or should I purchase them from one of the merchants in town?” the Minivandian answered.
“I have contacted a merchant, the Hut of Pizza, who has agreed to have several pies ready for you in a few minutes.” she replied, her Celtic green eyes shining in the lamplight.
“Then I shall go hence, and fetch our dinner from the good merchant. Do you wish for me to get anything else for you, my love?”
“A flask of the bubbly concoction of Atlanta to mix with my corn liquor tonight. Oh, and your son, the last scion of my house, requires milk and eggs. He has been eating as if he were a horse in the field. I fear that he is about to sprout like dragonbane under the June sun.”
“I shall stop at the Walled Market to get these items on my way to fetch dinner, then. I need to pick up a few things for myself.”
“Do you think that wise, my lord? This is the day after the day of Thanksgiving and the heralds have sung songs of bedlam at all of the markets this morning.”
“I shall not go unarmed, and the rioting should be over by the time I arrive.”
“Go carefully, my love. I would not wish to lose you to a harpie of the Soccer clan because she thought you might have eyes for the same gadget she lusts for.”
“So I shall, my darling. I shall be back within the hour.”
DaddyBear armed himself with Vaslav, his mighty Czech pellet thrower, and Gnarlthing, his blade of sharpness and stabbiness, then made his way to his trusty steed, Silverrust. Driving through the countryside to the Walled Market, he could see evidence of the horde that had descended upon the market district. Metal carts, normally kept neatly lined up by the store owners, were strewn throughout the lot of parking, and refuse from the boxes of gadgets were blowing across the ground like brightly colored tumbleweeds.
As he approached the entrance to the market, he saw that the signs and handbills that were normally affixed to the windows had been ripped down in a crush of humanity. The young lady who normally greeted him on entering the store was sitting on the floor, hugging her knees, and crying softly.
DaddyBear made his way to the food area, and found the milk, elixir, and eggs that were required by his lady love. The shelves of food were in disarray, and several work crews were making heroic efforts to reorder them, but DaddyBear could tell they would be working through the night to bring things back to normal.
Out of curiosity, DaddyBear took a walk through the aisles of the magic elf boxes. He wished to see if any remained, and to see if prices had come down. He found to his surprise that all of the magic elf boxes, be they large or small, were gone. The leader of the group that cared for this area was walking through the lane of the portable magic elf boxes, his blue shirt rumpled and torn. He had a look as if he could not see what was in front of him, instead focused on something thousands of yards away. DaddyBear heard him speaking, and leaning in found that he was mumbling “I’m sorry, we only have two of those. Please get back in line.” over and over.
Leaving the poor wraith to his fate, DaddyBear hurried to the front of the market to pay for his items. There he found things mostly in order, but the young man to whom he gave his items and money wore one arm in a sling and looked as if he had warred against the foulest of trolls that day. Inquiries as to his state only brought a blank stare and a growled answer of “Black Friday”. DaddyBear made a sign against evil behind his back at those words, and prayed to the gods of his ancestors that he would never meet a Black Friday, which must be a curse upon whatever land it decides to ravage.
DaddyBear walked back to Silverrust, looking back over his shoulder at the devastation, but also watching those around the lot of parking. The horde that had done so much damage might still be in the vicinity, and he had no wish to be mobbed for his milk, eggs, and bubbly elixir.
Upon reaching the Hut of Pizza, DaddyBear found the same shell-shocked faces, and was amazed at the number of meat pies that were waiting for others to pick up and take to their homes for dinner. The wizened crone who waited upon him whispered at how they were almost out of cheese, and had made an urgent call for help from their supplier. DaddyBear thanked his ancestors for bringing Irish Woman to him, she with the foresight to order dinner before the hordes decided on Italian pies for dinner.
Thus did DaddyBear acquire the food his family required, and upon returning to his freehold, he thought long and hard about his decision to stay close to home that day. Had it been an angel that told him to stay away from the markets this day, or had one of his ancestors joggled his mind into staying home with the Young Prince instead of trying to find a new boomstick or the magical brass talismans needed for them to create fire and smoke? In the end, he imbibed a dose of bubbly elixir of Atlanta mixed with the fine corn liquor of Kentucky and just thanked his luck that the horde had stopped at the Walled Market and not his village.
Posted by daddybear71 on November 25, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/11/25/market-of-destruction/
Showing Appreciation
H/T to JayG on this one!
Jack Daniels Distillery has announced a program to assist soldiers from Fort Campbell in getting home for the holidays. Soldiers who are cash-strapped will be given vouchers for either airline tickets or gas and lodging so that they can go home to their families.
Looking back at my time in uniform, I guess I was very fortunate in that I was home for the holidays most years, but a lot of my friends weren’t so lucky. Being away from home on a post that’s mostly deserted because everyone else has gone home for Christmas is depressing in a manner that’s hard to articulate. It’s good to see a company recognizing that and putting their money on the line to help out these soldiers and their families.
Our family is going to support this campaign with a small donation, and I’m going to support the company that put this together with a purchase of their product. Jack Daniels is owned by Brown-Forman, who makes something for every taste. If you’re not a JD fan, I’m sure they make something you’ll like. I’ve also reached out to Brown-Forman and Jack Daniels and let them know how much I appreciate their efforts, and I encourage you to do the same.
Let’s do something good for a company that’s doing something good!
Posted by daddybear71 on November 25, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/11/25/showing-appreciation/
Thanksgiving Giggle
Posted by daddybear71 on November 24, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/11/24/thanksgiving-giggle/
Thoughts on the Day
- Mental note – Do not store the chili powder and cinnamon in identical receptacles next to each other. Although chili powder french toast might have tasted OK.
- I have a very talented wife. She was somehow able to burn her lips on a hair dryer. No, it wasn’t intentional contact. No, I don’t understand it either.
- Thanksgiving math – a 21 pound turkey + 4 adults + 2 college students + 1 teenage girl + 1 Boo = 1 pound leftover turkey stripped from the carcass.
- Bourbon – It’s not just for breakfast anymore
- It is a great compliment when your friend tells his wife that your roast turkey and gravy is better than hers and she agrees with you.
- It is truly amazing how quickly a day of house cleaning can be ripped to shreds.
- When you ask your daughter what she’s thankful for, and she says “My Dad” your allergies can act up something fierce.
Posted by daddybear71 on November 24, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/11/24/thoughts-on-the-day-11/
SALUTE Report
Size – 21 pounds
Activity – Roasting
Location – Kitchen
Unit – 321st Guards Gobbler Regiment, 3rd Shock Poultry Army
Time – 4 to 6 hours at 300 degrees
Equipment – Butter, salt, pepper, garlic, onion, apple
Target was last seen being probed with a temperature monitor and being covered. Sources indicate a link up sometime this afternoon with mashed potatoes, gravy, cranberries, dressing, and pumpkin pie.
Posted by daddybear71 on November 24, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/11/24/salute-report/
Giving Thanks
Here in the U.S., today is Thanksgiving. This is the day we set aside to gather together, celebrate a good harvest feast, and remember to be thankful for the things we should be thankful for every day.
Here’s my list for this year:
- I’m thankful that my family is together, safe, and healthy.
- I’m thankful that Irish Woman and I have been able to stay employed this year, when so many have not been so fortunate.
- I’m thankful that I’ve been able to meet so many great people in the blog world this year, both in person and on-line.
- I’m thankful that I’ve been able to contribute back to the soldiers that are protecting my family.
- I’m grateful that, while things are tightening, my family has everything it needs.
- I’m grateful that my ancestors didn’t settle for what they were given, and gave up everything in order to come here and try to have more, both for them and for me.
- And finally, I’m grateful that all of you humor me while I rant, go off on tangents, and tell bad jokes.
I hope that all of you enjoy your holiday, and I look forward to doing this for a long time.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Posted by daddybear71 on November 24, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/11/24/giving-thanks/
Today’s Earworm
OK, folks, just hold your water until tomorrow and you can start the yearly Festival of Insanity. But you have to wait until tomorrow, OK?
Posted by daddybear71 on November 24, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/11/24/todays-earworm-88/
News Roundup
- From the “Born to be Wild Turkey” Department – The Wild Turkey distillery, which by the way is a great place to hold a meeting,* has offered to take the turkeys President Obama pardoned recently to use as an attraction and as spokespoultry. I support this idea. Nothing tastes better than a bird that’s been fed distiller’s grain for months, then slowly smoked using the wood from old bourbon barrels.
- From the “Shocked Face” Department – The NYPD is reporting that several make-shift weapons and large knives were found in Zuccotti Park after the Occupy Wall Street people were cleared off. The kitchen knives I can understand because they were actually running a kitchen there for a while, but pipes wrapped in cardboard? I guess it all went for nothing since the crowd left after the police showed up in force, but it doesn’t take much for some bozo to turn a tense situation into a riot when he starts swinging for the fences against Officer Friendly. But of course, the peaceful protesters of OWS would have nothing to do with the injuries or property damage.
- From the “Bunnies on the Boulevard” Department – Authorities in Colorado are looking for the person who dumped between 40 and 70 rabbits on the side of the road the other night. My gut tells me that someone got few pet or meat rabbits and forgot to get two of the same sex, and they just got away from them reproduction-wise. Of course, putting hutch or home raised bunnies in the wild is only good for the coyotes, so I certainly can’t support the decision to set them free. The rabbits were gathered up and are being taken care of by an animal rescue group. The group is asking for community support in the form of donations of carrots, celery, potatoes, onions, red wine, and flour.
- From the “That Could Have Ended Badly” Department – The Swedish government is investigating an incident in which police mailed a loaded rifle to a forensics lab. Apparently someone forgot to tell the good officers that dropping the magazine and clearing the chamber before boxing a gun up is a good idea. Swedish authorities are planning on holding training to make sure that everyone knows that a loaded gun doesn’t go in the post. In related news, the Norwegian government has purchased 2000 surplus septic tanks from Russia, which they plan to use to invade Sweden as soon as they can figure out how to get the darned things started.
Posted by daddybear71 on November 24, 2011
https://daddybearsden.com/2011/11/24/news-roundup-64/







