On a tip from C-90-RI in the GBC, I was pointed to this story of poisoned mouse corpses being used to try to clear out an invasive species of snake in Guam.

Yes, it’s dark and probably only funny to me because I haven’t slept more than 2 hours straight for 3 nights, but here’s what went through my mind after reading that:

Fighting Rodents from the Sky
These are mice, that have already died
100 rats will be dropped today
but only 3 win the furry beret!

With apologies to SSG Barry Sadler

Sorry for the light posting in the past few days.  Work is crazy, and now a stomach bug is making its way through the family.  I’m the only one who hasn’t gotten it, so knock wood I’m OK.  Just run down.

I’m working on a couple of longish posts that might actually make sense, so stay tuned to this station.

Roberta X has lost her feline companion of 20 plus years. 

Go on over and show some love.

If you are walking through the grocery store with your youngest son, and he points at a bunch of yellow and pink roses and yells “Yellow Flowers”, you can be sure that you will accumulate innumerable cool points by purchasing said roses and having your son deliver them to his mother.

I was watching the final moments of the San Fransisco – New Orleans game last night and realized I’d completely forgotten to make my picks for this weekend.  I’ll just not have those games in my results and pick it up again this week.

These are a bunch of random things that have been rumbling around in what calls itself my mind for a while, but aren’t beefy enough for their own post:

On Star Wars

• George Lucas is a testament to the American Dream.  This is the dream where a street performer takes a priceless, beautiful Picasso, shits on it in the middle of the sidewalk, then draws obscene graffiti in it.  During this entire process a crowd is applauding furiously and showering him with money because the special effects are amazing.
• No, it’s not the end all, be all of science fiction. It’s a serialized storyline compressed into six movies of varying quality.  But the three movies that came out when I was in grade school will always have a place on my shelf.  The others don’t even get mentioned to the children.
• Anakin Skywalker started out as an obnoxious, unsupervised kid.  He turned into a whiny pain in the ass teenager who should have had his ass beat by Obi-Wan for his own good.  He then turned into a spoiled fair haired golden boy who porked a Senator, killed off his own order of monks, and destroyed a democracy in the name of emo kids everywhere.  He then turned into the ur-badass, but then bitched out at the end.  Kwai-gon should have neutralized him on Tattooine as soon as he figured out that he was too dangerous to leave untrained but was too old and messed up to train properly.
• Han shot first, bitches.

On Star Trek

• Picard negotiated, Kirk impregnated.
• Geordi and Scotty were either wonderful mechanics who could fix anything in record time, or they sucked so bad as engineers that any combat or unexpected condition caused their overly fragile systems to break in an unexpected manner.  Pick one.
• Picard was an idiot for letting his senior officers sleep around within the command group.  Just saying.  And if he was going to allow shenanigans to happen, he should have been banging Dr. Crusher like a cheap gong.

Other mind droppings:

• Indiana Jones is the only fictional character that has ever had actual experience of the existance of a higher power on at least three occasions, (Old Testament Judeo/Christian Yahweh, Hindi Gods,  and Jesus Christ), and still has to go to the South American jungle looking for evidence of aliens.  Let it go guy, you’ve had enough of the mystery of the universe explained for one lifetime.
• The people who produced, wrote,  directed, and acted in the “Starship Troopers” series of movies better hope they never die, because Robert Heinlein is waiting for them in the afterlife with a suit of power armor and a vendetta.
• I saw a young lady last night in Walmart wearing acid wash jeans.  For the love of Jeebus, did I ever think those stupid things looked good?  Did my mother take the brown acid even though she didn’t make it to Woodstock?  Children, look at the fashions of the late 80’s and early 90’s and learn from our mistakes. 
• Why is it that I feel that the pinnacle of American automotive technology was the 1971 Ford pickup truck?  It might have something to do with the ability of a mechanical moron like me to maintain and fix it without having to call in the MIT CERT team.

Thanks for listening.  I needed to get those out of my head before they spurted out my ears.

Ananis Morissette, singing on the radio – “You’re my best friend, best friend with benefits!”

DaddyBear – Sweetie, are you my best friend with benefits?
Irish Woman – Well of course you are!
DaddyBear – When do we get the benefit packet for next year?  And how much is my copay?
Irish Woman – Snort!  You haven’t met your deductible for the year yet!

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s moments like that that remind me why I married her.

Irish Woman:  Some nuns were in the hospital today selling fudge as a fundraiser, so I bought a box.  Would you like a piece?

DaddyBear:  Sure.  munch munch munch.

Irish Woman:  Pretty good, huh?

DaddyBear:  Tell the sister that her fudge is good enough to make a man sin.  And you need to hide that box.

The Code of Conduct was brought into military doctrine in the 1950’s.  It is a reminder of what is expected of American servicemembers if they are captured.  I’ve used it as a reminder of how to conduct myself in the bad times.

I am an American fighting in the forces that guard my country and our way of life, I am prepared to give my life in their defense.

This is what I am, not what I do, and the lengths to which I am willing to go to fulfill my mission.  In the worst of times, this may be the only thing you’ve got to keep yourself going.

I will never surrender of my own free will.  If in command, I will never surrender the members of my command while they still have the means to resist.

I will never give up so long as I have the ability to continue to strive towards my goal.  If I am a leader, I will never give up on my people so long as they are still able to continue their missions.  Knowing that your leader believes in you and will stay by your side means more than just about anything else in tough times.

If I am captured I will continue to resist by all means available.  I will make every effort to escape and aid others to escape.  I will accept neither parole nor special favors from the enemy.

Sometimes no matter how hard you try, the worst happens.  Even then, never give up.  Work with your people to either make the situation better or get out of the situation altogether.  I will not make my life better at the expense of the lives of my people.  Neither will I take comforts that are not available to them.  Everyone benefits or no one benefits.

If I become prisoner of war, I will keep faith with my fellow prisoners.  I will give no information or take part in any action which might be harmful to my comrades.  If I am senior, I will take command.  If not, I will obey the lawful orders of those appointed over me and will back them up in every way.

I will stand by my people, no matter what.  I will do nothing that will hurt my organization, no matter what personal benefit I may gain.  I will not be afraid to take charge in a difficult situation, even if that exposes me to ridicule, deprivation, or worse.  If someone else takes charge, I will follow their leadership wholly.

Should I become a prisoner of war, I am required to give name, rank, service number, and date of birth.  I will evade answering questions to the utmost of my ability.  I will make no oral or written statements disloyal to my country and its allies.

There are some things you have to do when you’re in a bad situation.  Other than that, don’t do anything to make it worse.  Don’t trade the lives of your comrades for your own personal gain.  Remember that there are some things more important than your own personal comfort or survival.

I will never forget that I am an American fighting for freedom, responsible for my actions, and dedicated to the principles which made my country free.  I will trust in my God and in the United States of America.

Again, this is who I am, not what I do.  I will take responsibility for what I say and do, and will remember why I should do the right thing in a bad situation.  I will remember that even though I may be isolated, I am never alone.

Actually, I can’t complain.  All of my kids have loved their vegetables and fruit. 

H/T to GraphJam