Dear Does,

It appears that some mass hysteria has struck your ranks.  In the 5 miles between the highway and my home, three of your number attempted to end their lives by impacting themselves on the front bumper and/or fenders of my minivan.  I also saw large groups of you standing in the fields next to the road, all of which seemed to stare longingly at the cars that were passing them.

Whatever is troubling you, it’s not worth dying for.  Life is good.  Spring has sprung, the grass is green and sweet, and the trees are budding.  Soon, there will be a new herd of fawns to take care of, and the trees will be full of fruit before you know it.  Just get through this rough period and you will be fine.

If you still feel this way in November, please feel free to line up in front of my friends and me, and we will ensure that your death goes to a good cause.  Namely, to fill our freezers and jerky dryers.

In the meantime, if you need someone to talk to, or a shoulder to cry on, my dog Shadow spends his afternoon in the yard that backs up to the field with the apple tree and blackberry bushes.  He is a good listener, and is known for giving wonderful hugs.

Yours sincerely,

DaddyBear

The U.S. European Command has mandated that service members assigned to Europe shall not wear their uniforms off post.

The directive specifically forbids the wearing of uniforms for travel between duty and domicile, short convenience stops, conduct of physical fitness, travel between installations, and off post messing

This is in response to the shooting earlier this month of several Air Force personnel at Frankfurt Airport.

So, in order to keep Islamic fanatics from harming our service members, we are having them take off their uniform before driving home, usually in an American vehicle, with a license plate that says “U.S.” on it.  But at least they won’t be wearing their uniform.  No word on a dress code that keeps PFC Snuffy from taking the Strassenbahn home wearing his Chicago Bears sweatshirt while sporting a high and tight haircut. 

Rules like this have been put in place in different places whenever the perceived threat of violence or harassment of military personnel happens.  They’re usually worthless.

If a lunatic wants to kill American service members, then he is not going to be inconvenienced by not being able to just find the people in uniform.  American military grooming standards and habits make us stick out in a crowd of any civilians.  American soldiers tend to buy most of their clothing from either the PX or from American mail order companies such as Amazon, not on the local economy.  Picking the American out of a crowd of Germans at the beer fest or at the airport is trivial.

What needs to happen is for the Status of Forces Agreements (SOFA) with our NATO allies need to be re-negotiated to allow American service members to protect themselves.   Our soldiers walk around the world every day, and unless they’re in a combat zone, they’re usually kept unarmed by force of regulation and law.  If Germany and the other European partners can’t guarantee the safety of our soldiers in their countries, which they can’t, then our service members deserve the right to carry something better than their European Shoulder Bags to protect themselves.  Maybe not firearms, because why would we expect people trained to be responsible with firearms to actually be responsible with firearms, but at least a knife bigger than something from Victorinox.

Commanders who think that a half-hearted effort to camouflage their subordinates in a civilian population will protect them are worse than fools, and should know better. 

LabRat and BRM have done an excellent job in the past few days discussing perceptions of manhood and the problems with these perceptions.  Read all of their posts, because they put it much better than I could ever hope to.

As for myself, I have some ideas on what makes an adult human male a man:

• A man will hold the door for women, help an old lady with her groceries, and defend a ladies honor.  He does this not because women cannot do these things for themselves, but because they should never have to.
• A man will take his turn at the 3 AM feeding and diaper change.
• A man will overlook a slight against him, but will immediately apologize if he realizes he’s been impolite.
• A man will sometimes act childlike, but should never act childish.
• A man will wash the grease from working on the truck off of his hands before braiding his daughter’s hair.
• A man means it when he says “This is going to hurt me more than it does you”
• A man may like it when he comes home to a hot dinner, but is more than willing to cook his wife a hot meal before she comes home
• A man may be gruff, grumbly, and altogether prickly all day long, but will still be happy to read Dr. Seuss before bedtime
• A man will come home from a long day of hunting or fishing and be grateful for the healthy salad that’s prepared for dinner
• A man will, without complaint, sell the sports car and the boat, drop all of his expensive bad habits, shut off the cable TV, and work three jobs if that’s what it takes to put food on the table and heat in the house.  He will not do this for any reason other than it’s what’s expected.
• A man will recognize that his wife is perfectly capable of earning at least as much money as he does, but he will never take it for granted.  
• A man will always make sure that his wife and children know just how important they are in his life, even if he never heard it from his father.

All of us have things we wish we could do again.  There are places and people we’d like to see one more time.  Some of them are from our childhood, some we experienced as adults.

Every now and then, and for some reason more frequently lately, I will be reminded of something that I cherished, but will probably never see again.

• Sunrise over the desert in Arizona
• Sunset in West Texas
• The night sky over the Great Plains
• Snow drifting across the prairie
• The changing of the guard at Buckingham and Red Square
• A thunderstorm coming down a valley in the Wasatch
• A lightning storm in the Chiracahuas

In light of the air war in Libya, I thought I’d put these up.

Where have all the hippies gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the hippies gone?
Long time ago.
They’ve gone silent for one of their own.
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Fighting liberals from the sky
These are men who whine and cry
100 missiles will launch today
But Cindy Sheehan has nothing to say

And it’s one, two, three
What are we fighting for?
To get oil for France and Italy
Next stop is Tripoli
And it’s five six seven
Open up the oily taps
Ain’t no time for congressional approval
Whoopie! Let’s talk about Quaddafi’s removal!

Scientists in Spain have found the skeleton of a prehistoric rabbit that got quite big:

The giant rabbit, dubbed Nuralagus rex, weighed 26.4 pounds, about six times the size of the living European rabbit

That is one large hasenpfeffer on the hoof.  A rabbit that big would feed a family of four for a week.  A family of them would provide enough fur to make a fuzzy lingerie for Rosie O’Donnell.


Too bad the species is gone.  Bunnies that big would make a good emergency protein supply for TEOTWAWKI.  

I’ve been out of the net since last night.  Anything happening?  Mothra climb out of Tokyo Harbor yet?  Did Fearless Leader land on the Charles De Gaul to declare victory?

I thought this was appropriate for today, given the fact that the President sent our men and women into harm’s way while he was in Rio for the weekend.