After admitting that he sent inappropriate messages to multiple women, Representative Anthony Weiner of New York has announced that he will be entering a treatment facility:

Congressman Weiner departed this morning to seek professional treatment to focus on becoming a better husband and healthier person….

So, following the new way to get out of something, Congressman Weiner will be entering rehab for a few weeks of ‘counseling’ so he can wait for the next scandal du jure to come out.

In order to save both time and money, I offer the following advice to help this gentleman become ‘a better husband and healthier person’:

1. Do not show your schwanz to any woman you are not in a romantic relationship with already, or who is not your health care provider. 
2. If you are caught showing your schwanz to a woman that isn’t your significant other or health care provider, don’t lie or attack those who question the appropriateness of your behavior.
3. When you really poke the pooch, don’t act like you’ve got some mental health issue and hide in a treatment facility until the heat is off.  Man up, take your lumps, apologize profusely, and just stop showing women your schwanz.
4. Don’t put any picture on-line that you wouldn’t want your grandmother and kindergarten teacher to see and know it was you.

If the good congressman will just follow these three easy steps, his life will improve.  Of course, I think it’s good advice for any man.

I’m writing in reference to the person you gave the Nobel Peace Prize to in 2009, President Barack Obama.  At the time, you all rationalized your decision based on the potential Mr. Obama had to make the world a better, more peaceful place.

Since that time, President Obama has:

• Started an air campaign that interferes with an internal struggle between two armed factions in a sovereign country.
• Continued fighting two other wars, with flare-ups in several other countries.
• Violated the sovereignty of a U.N. member on multiple occasions to assassinate leadership of irregular forces.
• Sided with one side in a dispute that has previously caused a shooting war when it would have been acceptable to express neutrality on the issue.
• Supported deputies who actively assisted in the smuggling of weapons across an international border, weapons that have been used in the murder of soldiers, law enforcement, and innocent civilians.
• Used his governmental bodies to terrorize his own citizens in their homes over trivial administrative matters.

Now don’t get me wrong.  I agree with two of the above actions.  The others?  Well, not so much.  But that’s beside the point.

The Nobel Peace Prize used to mean that you did something to keep or create the peace.  Teddy Roosevelt got it for facilitating peace between Russia and Japan. Lech Walesa, Martin Luther King Jr., and Ghandi got it for working peacefully for social change in their countries.  Mother Teresa got it for her works to alleviate the suffering of the lowest of the low.  There are many other examples of people who have worked to bring peace to our world.

But President Obama is not one of them.  He has committed acts that either make the international situation worse or at best continue policies that keep the balance of terror in place.

Having brought this to your attention, I expect that you will reconsider your poor choice in 2009.  While I cannot suggest an alternative, I’m sure that somewhere in our world there is a person who deserves this recognition more than President Obama.

Tusen takk,

Daddy J. Bear
Pater Ursus