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What to know when you go to college

A doctor in Illinois has compiled a list of things to know for new college students and their families.  It includes the normal admonitions about drinking, drugs, and health needs.  I thought I’d add to it.

Here’s my list:

  • There is no magic underwear fairy at college.  The dirty clothes will not magically appear in your drawers overnight, clean and folded.  Learn how to use a laundry.
  • The laundry is not in your mom’s basement.
  • The following people are not your friends:
  1. The guy who doesn’t check ID’s too closely at the liquor store
  2. The guy who deals on campus
  3. The girl who asks you to do her homework for her in exchange for the privilege of taking her out to dinner
  4. The guy who asks you for a date to attend the party at his frat house just to introduce you to all of the guys
  5. The professor or TA who really really seems to like you
  6. The guys handing out free tee shirts in exchange for a credit card application
  7. The guy who sold you that Xbox after you got your student loan check
  • It is amazing how many meals can be made using nothing more than a microwave oven and a coffee maker
  • When there are mushrooms growing in the shower, it’s time to break out those cleaning supplies your parents sent with you last semester
  • When you start to smell so bad you offend yourself, time to break out that soap and shampoo that they also packed
  • Captain Condom says: Wrap that rascal!
  • You may hate rice, ramen, tuna fish, and bologna, but you will be amazed how quickly you can get over that when you’re hungry
  • If the only thing you can honestly say you learned last semester was how to do a beer bong or roll a joint, you’re doing it wrong
  • Your professor may truly care about whether or not you get a good education, but she’s going to get paid whether or not you show up to her 9 AM class.  You’re paying for it, you might as well go.
  • Very few people are going to pay you for a degree that boils down to four years of BS’ing with the professor and navel gazing.  Remember, there are millions of starving artists, musicians, and poets in the world, but a plumber rarely goes hungry.
  • The world needs ditch diggers too.
Any additions?

Fill Dirt Needed, Fast

The director of Boston’s Big Dig project says that water leaks are a major concern to the tunnel structure and are causing damage to support girders and electrical systems.  While he maintains that the tunnels are safe, I don’t think lights falling from the ceiling are a good sign.

Since the Big Dig runs through downtown Boston, a collapse would probably be pretty catastrophic.  The pessimist in me has to ask whether or not it would be worth the expense to just fill the thing in with the dirt and rock that were taken out to build the darned thing.

In the event that I go to Boston anytime soon, I think I’ll take my chances with surface streets that aren’t above the Big Dig.

Family pictures

Fox News has a new slideshow, and it’s good to see photos of my ex-wives in all of their different body forms and hair styles.  Enjoy!

News Roundup

  • From the “Bad To Worse” Department – A man in Florida strapped a fake bomb to the underside of his car and headed off to get an oil change.  A technician at the garage noticed his package and alerted authorities.  Apparently the man was going through a bad divorce, so one could see this as either an attempt at “suicide by cop” or a cry for help.  I see this as someone who wants to spend more quality time with his lawyer.
  • From the “Get A Rope” Department – Police in Wisconsin are advising citizens to keep an eye on their air conditioners after a string of robberies.  My guess is thieves are stealing them to resell the copper in the coils.  In the summer, this should be a hanging offense.  I’m a winter guy myself.  I can always add another layer of wool or poly-pro when you’re cold.  You can only get so naked when you’re hot before the neighbors start to talk.  For those of you who will have that image in your head as you try to go to sleep tonight, I’m sorry.
  • From the “But It Is Terminal” Department – A lawyer in Florida has coined the phrase of the day:  “He’s guilty of felony stupidity…but I don’t think that should be a federal crime”.  His client is charged with getting drunk on a cruise ship, breaking into a control room, and releasing one of the ship’s anchors.  Personally, I believe this could have been fixed with a little something they used to call ‘keelhauling‘, but that’s just me.
  • From the “How Can They Tell The Difference” Department – A transit strike in Italy caused snarled train, bus, and ferry traffic in the land of good wine and better food.  Having driven in Naples, I cannot imagine how it could have been worse than normal.  The streets in Naples were just big enough for two small Fiat micromachines to pass each other, and the Italians routinely try to fit five in the same space.  That being said, it’s good that you can’t swing a cat in Italy without hitting a church, because I regularly had something to confess about the thoughts I had towards other drivers and the language I used in reference to their skill and breeding.  Of course, I could also ask the priest to pray for me as I tried to make it across town.

Thought for the Day

This weekend, I have had the Guano Touch.  Everything I’ve touched has turned to crap.

An Hour and a Half

Reports from Norway indicate that the shooter at Utoya had an hour and a half to shoot children before the police were able to get to the the scene and arrest him.  Apparently he surrendered as soon as he was confronted by police with guns.  The delay in response was lengthened by the police helicopter not being available and a lack of boats for the police to use to get to the island.

Imagine being in an active shooter situation, unarmed, with little to no cover or escape route, for an hour and a half.  You can hide or play dead, but until the SWAT team gets there, the shooter has nothing but time to sort the quick from the dead.

This is one of the reasons I carry.  I don’t have delusions of grandeur or fantasies of being the hero in a shooting.  All I want to do is survive a bad situation if it should ever happen.  While active shooter situations like this are relatively rare, they do happen.  More common are the usual criminals who want to rob me or the store I’m in.  The thing that convinced me to learn how to shoot pistols and get a carry permit was the robbery of a store where I stopped off to get a Coke.  In that case, the thief flashed a gun and left after he got his money, but all it would have taken to make a bad situation worse was for a policeman to stop off for some coffee or for the thug to decide that witnesses were a bad thing.

People, we’re not movie heroes.  We don’t go out looking for trouble, and we shouldn’t fantasize about being the guy who stops a shooter in his tracks.  But we have to be prepared.  We have to carry, we have to know how to safely and effectively use the tools we carry, and we have to think about how we would react to the most common threats for the environments we frequent and at least spend a moment thinking about the uncommon threats.  These people weren’t in a bad neighborhood or at the local Stop ‘n’ Rob.  They were at a summer camp for children, and the sky fell in on them.

Like Breda says, carry your gun – it’s a lighter burden than regret.

Which gun was she using?

A woman in Chicago was sentenced to 55 years in prison for trying to shoot a police officer in 2007.  Luckily for the officer, the bullets in her gun had fallen out when she was running with it.

Which begs the question:  What brand of gun was she using that allowed the bullets to fall out during a foot chase?

I want to know so that I never buy that brand.  Even if she just bumped the magazine or cylinder release while running and they fell out afterwards, I want to know.

Although I could see the advertisement now:  “Brand X handguns.  Easiest to unload in a hurry”.

Alt for Norge

Today, a children’s camp on Utoya Island was shot up and a government building in Oslo was blown up.  At the time of this writing, casualties number 16 dead with many more injured.  I expect the death toll to climb as some of those who were wounded at Utoya die and more bodies are uncovered in Oslo.

At the moment, no-one has taken responsibility for these atrocities, so we don’t know if it was a terrorist group or the Norwegian equivalent of Timothy McVeigh.  My gut tells me it was some Islamic terror group, but we will see in the coming days.  Norway, like most European countries, has had its share of problems with Muslim immigrants and the terrorist fish that swim through that particular sea. However, the gunman at Utoya is described as Norwegian.

Norway is a NATO ally, and has stood with us in Afghanistan and elsewhere even as a fifth column of Islamists has threatened her.  Through the Cold War, Norway was one of the few NATO countries to actually border the Soviet Union.  Now is the time for us to repay 60 years of allegiance by standing with her.

In the late 1900‘s 1800’s, my grandfather boarded a boat in Oslo.  He left behind the fishing and farming that his family had been doing for generations in the hard, cold land of Norway and sought a new life of hard work and prosperity in the hard cold land of North Dakota.  He found a job, raised two families, and passed on pride of being Norwegian to his sons and their sons.  Today, pride in being Norwegian needs to go beyond “Kiss me, I’m Norwegian” shirts, lefse, and krumkake.

My thoughts and prayers go out to my grandfather’s countrymen and our allies in Norway.  We Norse have a reputation for being strong, stubborn, and hard to beat, and I hope that Norway lives up to that reputation in response to this atrocity.  With everything I have this day, I stand with Norway.

No Sympathy Part II

Three people died the other day when they went over the 317 foot Vernal Falls at Yosemite National Park.  Witnesses report that two of them crossed safety barriers and waded out into the water above the falls to take a picture.  One of them slipped, the other slipped trying to help the first one, and a third person crossed barriers to get to the first two.  The rest of their group, including several children, watched all three go over the falls, apparently to their death.

In the same vein, a 50 year old hiker in south-eastern Arizona was rescued after being lost in the Cochise Stronghold for seven hours.  She apparently was on a hike with family and got lost.  Since she was able to walk out, I’m going to assume she had at least a little water.  7 hours in the open in Cochise County during high summer without water is a good way to die. I’ve hiked that area, and this lady is lucky to have been found alive.

Every year someone decides to try to climb Mount Hood a little too late or a little early in the year, which causes huge search and rescue efforts, sometimes leading to the injury or death of rescuers.   Do people not look at weather predictions and the news before heading out?

The Coast Guard regularly rescues people who try to take a little boat in bad repair or improperly equipped out onto the big ocean.  These dedicated people take their lives in their own hands to save the lives of people who shouldn’t have gotten off the dock.

Every summer you hear about people who get mauled and killed by bears who attack after being fed or are startled while raiding coolers and food boxes in camping areas.  Apparently people never learn to tie their food up in trees while in bear country.  I know people who are shocked when I tell them they shouldn’t be storing food in the same tent they sleep in.

I could go on and on, but you get the idea.  People regularly do stupid things when leaving civilization and don’t realize how quickly Mother Nature can kill you.

For those who die because of their own stupidity, I feel nothing.  They put their own lives and the lives of everyone who tries to rescue themselves at risk by being morons.  If there is a guardrail and signs telling you to not get any closer to the waterfall, don’t cross it.  If you’re going to go for a hike in anywhere more rugged than the local golf course, you need to go prepared.  That means taking food, water, a first aid kit, a knife, and a way to make fire.  If you think the world is going to take pity on you because you don’t know what you’re doing, you’re dead wrong.  And if you’re taking your family with you when you take your dumbass act on the trail, you’re killing your children while you commit slow suicide.

In the Yosemite incident, I feel for the people who watched the hikers die, and I feel for the person who sacrificed herself trying to save two other human beings.  The other two were dead as soon as they left the parking area.

People, don’t assume that anything is safe.  Enjoy the world that doesn’t include hotels and paved parking lots, but be aware of how quickly things can go bad.  Know what you’re walking into, know the expected weather, follow posted safety notices, and have what you need to keep you and yours alive when things go to hell.  I won’t feel bad for you when you die because of stupidity, but I will feel horrible for those who love you and those who are injured or die trying to find and rescue you.

No Sympathy

Two American citizens were arrested and spent 5 days in a Canadian jail after trying to cross the border with several undeclared guns. 

The Canadian Border Service Agency said when officers searched their 2008 Winnebago after the pair said they had nothing to declare, agents found a derringer-type pistol, a revolver, three semi-automatic pistols and a shotgun.

While I fully support all of the rights of our citizens, including rights to firearms, those rights don’t extend once you leave our borders.  When you leave the jurisdiction of the United States, you have to follow the laws of the country you visit.  The same goes for any behavior, but firearms laws are probably enforced just as stringently as drug laws.

Even when you travel from one of our states to another, you have to know what the laws are.  For example, in Kentucky, you can put a loaded pistol in the glove compartment of your automobile without having a concealed carry permit and you are perfectly legal.  The same does not go for all of the neighboring states, and it certainly isn’t legal in less gun friendly states such as Illinois and California.  An excuse of “But it’s legal in my state!” isn’t going to fly.

When you’re travelling, you have to learn what is legal and what is not in all of the states you will be going through.  If your CCW license isn’t recognized in one of the states you will be crossing, then you can either play felony bingo and hope you don’t get stopped by the local police or you can stop before crossing the state line and secure your firearm in the manner that’s legal in that state.  If you’re crossing an international border, it is incumbent on you to know the laws that deal with bringing your firearms with you and to follow them.

We as gun owners will be judged as a group by the actions of the most stupid of our brethren.  We have two things to do.  First, don’t be that guy.  Don’t impede the progress we’ve been making by willfully breaking the law because you think it’s garbage.  Second, we have to educate and police ourselves.  If our lowest common denominator messes up, we should make sure they aren’t having their rights abused, but we shouldn’t defend someone just because he’s a member of our tribe.