- From the “An Apology” Department – The government of Pakistan has demanded an unconditional apology from the United States before they will re-open the routes though their mountain paradise. I’m game: Dear Pakistan, I wholeheartedly apologize for the fact that my government did not provide more support to Great Britain in the late 1940’s. Had we done so, our British cousins might have been able to keep your third world craphole as a colony, and you all might have had adult leadership for the past 60 years or so, and then we wouldn’t be having this little problem. Now release our supply convoys before we show you what happens when we intentionally drop ordnance on someone.
- From the “Internship Opportunity” Department – The government of Wales has decided to cancel a badger cull to stem the spread of disease in favor of inoculating the little darlings. Any guesses on the difference in cost between the two plans? Also, what lucky son of a gun gets to convince Mr. Badger to trade a needle stick for a GI Joe bandaid and a sugar free lollipop?
- From the “Bad Move” Department – A Texas woman is under arrest after stabbing a man during an argument. Apparently, she decided she had cooked enough meals for him and started throwing things out into the yard during the ensuing argument. The man then threatened to cut off her pony tail if she didn’t stop, after which she cut the phone line and stabbed him in the hand. Gentlemen, this guy made a lot of blunders here. First of all, when she says she’s tired of cooking, don’t argue; put on an apron and get to work. Second, when she starts throwing things into the yard, don’t threaten to cut off her hair, go out and clean up the mess. And last, when she grabs a knife and cuts the phone line, it’s time to try for a new personal best in the “front door to car door” sprint.
News Roundup
Posted by daddybear71 on March 21, 2012
https://daddybearsden.com/2012/03/21/news-roundup-13/
Play Stupid Games
Win Stupid Prizes
I’m not a basketball fan, at least not on TV. Basketball is lumped in with baseball for me in that I love to go to games, but find it exceedingly boring to watch on TV.
So I missed this the other day:
When freshman point guard Angel Rodriguez stepped to the free throw line in the first half, some members of the band began to chant, “Where’s your green card?” Rodriguez is a Puerto Rico native.
Since they acted like trolls and embarrassed their university, I’m not surprised to learn that several of these cretins have lost their band scholarships and have been forced to sit in the “you said a bad thing” class.
For once, I’m not going to shriek about political correctness run amok. These aren’t students who are being penalized for expressing views that are looked down upon by their faculty. These schmucks decided to act like, well, schmucks on national TV while representing their school and being paid to do it. So having their inability to control themselves and act right in public should come back to bite them on the tuckus. To me, they were being paid to sit in the stands, play some annoying songs, and show the colors for the school. Instead they acted like trash and now they’re being reminded that trash doesn’t get to sit in the stands and toot a horn for pay.
I hope they enjoy washing dishes to make up the difference in their educational/beer budgets. Maybe they’ll learn a little humility and how to act.
Posted by daddybear71 on March 21, 2012
https://daddybearsden.com/2012/03/21/play-stupid-games/
30 Days of Churchill – Day 19
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war. — Remarks at a White House luncheon (June 26, 1954)
My Take – I tend to agree, but only so long as jawing isn’t used as a cover to have more time to do the things that are causing the necessity for war. Serbia, Iraq, Korea, and Iran, I’m looking at you.
Posted by daddybear71 on March 21, 2012
https://daddybearsden.com/2012/03/21/30-days-of-churchill-day-19/
Quote of the Day
I don’t have pet peeves. I have major psychotic !@#! hatreds. And I’ll tell you this: It makes the world a lot easier to sort out. — George Carlin
Testify, brother, testify!
Posted by daddybear71 on March 21, 2012
https://daddybearsden.com/2012/03/21/quote-of-the-day-9/
Thought for the Day
When asking the pharmacist for advice, it is usually considered out of bounds to ask the pharmacist to look at the thing on your back so that she can recommend what you put on it.
And no, the pharmacy doesn’t sell brain bleach for the image that flashed through my mind of what Quasimodo might have on her back that caused that interaction.
Posted by daddybear71 on March 21, 2012
https://daddybearsden.com/2012/03/21/thought-for-the-day-11/
News Roundup
- From the “No Justice” Department – Researchers are reporting that some women experience sexual arousal and possibly even orgasm while exercising. This is so unfair. When I’m working out, I feel pain, strain, sweat, and fatigue. In other words, it’s the absolute opposite of sexual for me. I work out because it’s good for me, not because it’s enjoyable. Of course, this might explain why the young lady who teaches the aerobics class at the Y is so perky and cheerful.
- From the “Mark of the Geek” Department – Nokia is patenting technology that would allow users of their phones to use a special magnetic tattoo to sense when their phones are ringing or when a new message arrives. Of course, this would only be useful for as long as it takes for the next big thing to come along, so eventually it’ll be a “Grandma, what’s that on your wrist?” object, to go with the tattoo of a snake and a rose on the lower back. I think I’ll pass and stay with that tried and true technology known as “ringing” or “buzzing” and if those fail, I have a backup called “voicemail”. Seems to work OK without having to go under the needle.
- From the “Mal Hombre” Department – A six year old girl here in Louisville was rescued the other night when her 10 year old brother ran back into a burning house to get her. Both were burned, but are out of the hospital and doing OK. The young girl was able to answer a few questions, but the boy seems to have been limited a simple statement. Any further talk with him was interrupted by the sound of big brass objects ringing together when he walked.
- From the “No Soup For You!” Department – The city of New York has decreed that donated food can no longer be accepted at homeless shelters run by the city. Their concern seems to be that the food fed to the less fortunate may not meet the stringent nutritional guidelines of the Bloomberg administration if it includes food that isn’t provided by the city. Donated food from religious groups or restaurants can’t be assessed for salt, fiber, and fat content, so it is not to be given to those who cannot provide for themselves. So I guess it’s better for the poor to eat the food that’s given to them by the government than that which is given by other citizens.
- From the “Alrighty Then!” Department – A man in Iowa was arrested recently. At the time, he was naked and claimed that he had been forced to hold a nuclear bomb at his home. People, alcohol is a gift from heaven, but let this be a warning about what can happen when you over-imbibe. Sometimes all you get are embarrassing pictures of you in front of the porcelain altar, sometimes you end up with an arrest record with the words “public nudity” and “nuclear weapon” in it.
Posted by daddybear71 on March 20, 2012
https://daddybearsden.com/2012/03/20/news-roundup-14/
30 Days of Churchill – Day 18
What is the use of living, if it be not to strive for noble causes and to make this muddled world a better place for those who will live in it after we are gone? — Speech at Kinnaird Hall, Dundee, Scotland (“Unemployment”), October 10, 1908
My Take – We are here to provide for the next generation, both that they may survive to replace us and so that they have a good life when we are gone. I refuse to believe the “first generation to not do better than their parents” crap. I am doing better than my parents did, and I will be damned if my children will settle for a lesser life than I have led. I can’t control what happens to them in regards to material wealth, but I can raise my sons and daughters to be better people than I am.
Posted by daddybear71 on March 20, 2012
https://daddybearsden.com/2012/03/20/30-days-of-churchill-day-18/
I’m raising a nerd
It’s unseasonably warm here in IndiUcky, so we decided to have dinner in the back yard tonight as a picnic. Boo enjoyed being able to play outside a little later than usual, and of course, he brought along the lightsaber Irish Woman bought him when she went on the road last month.
Here is the budding padwan, complete with his trusty sidearm:
 |
| Keeping the back yard safe for picnics and sand boxes |
And of course, no time with Boo would be complete without being told to hush so that he could talk.
 |
| Hush Dad. I can’t hear you over how awesome I am anyway. |
He spent the evening trying to bat the lazy bumblebees that were buzzing around the blossoms on the cherry and peach trees with the lightsaber, but thankfully, he never connected. He’s currently tucked safely in bed with his sword, Hasenpfeffer the Rabbit, and a book.
Update – Upon closer examination of these pictures, it appears that we never wash the young man’s face. Fear not, for that is just the residue from a grape popsicle he enjoyed after dinner.
Posted by daddybear71 on March 20, 2012
https://daddybearsden.com/2012/03/20/im-raising-a-nerd/
Today’s Earworm
This little story about proposed aircraft design put this in my head for some reason.
Posted by daddybear71 on March 19, 2012
https://daddybearsden.com/2012/03/19/todays-earworm-25/
30 Days of Churchill – Day 17
We are waiting for the long-promised invasion. So are the fishes. — Radio broadcast, London, October 21, 1940
My Take – A little smack talking, every so often, is a good thing.
Posted by daddybear71 on March 19, 2012
https://daddybearsden.com/2012/03/19/30-days-of-churchill-day-17/
DaddyBear
DaddyBear’s Den 