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Avast!

Arrr, I w0uld be writing ye a post about Talk Like A Pirate Day, but the Irish Wench be threatening to strand me on a desert isle if I dinna assist her in scrubbing down the galley and putting her offspring to bed.

So, rather than be making a fool of meself and risking keelhauling at her delicate hands, just remember me rules for the day:

  1. Cuss like a sailor!
  2. Drink like a fish!
  3. Act like a pirate!

New Word of the Day

Deja-fuuuuuuuuuuuu – noun – The mysterious feeling that you get when you have to repeat all of the work you did previously because of some silly little problem that didn’t creep up until you were 90% done.

30 Days of Tolkien – Day 17

Come on, Mr. Frodo. I can’t carry it for you, but I can carry you! – Sam — The Return of the King

My Take – We can’t take over and solve our friends’ problems, but we can be there to be what they use to hold themselves up.  When you let someone lean on you, you pay back all of the people who have supported you when you needed it.

Today’s Earworm

News Roundup

  • From the “Engage!” Department – Scientists are theorizing that a change to the shape of a proposed vessel would allow it to travel at several times the speed of light without needing a fuel source the size of a planet.  I, for one, hope this happens during my lifetime.  Maybe then I can finally get far enough away from people that I can sit and think and maybe take a nap.  I love my fellow man as much as the next guy, but given the opportunity to get a couple of light years away from everything sounds like heaven.
  • From the “Markets at Work” Department – The students at a school in Wisconsin are voting with their feet and wallets after the amount of food in a school lunch went down and the price for lunch went up.  The changes are part of the USDA central planning aimed at cutting childhood obesity.  I have an idea:  If parents want their kids to have a nutritionally balanced meal that isn’t going to contribute to their waistline, why don’t they try getting up and making it before the youngsters head to school.  It’s hard to get fat when mom isn’t paying for you to eat pizza and cake five days a week.
  • From the “Shocked Face” Department – A series of recently released emails highlight close cooperation between the Obama Department of Justice and Media Matters, a liberal group and attack dog.  The emails seem to show that the DOJ directed Media Matters in attacking critics of the administration.  Seriously, if you needed more proof that this administration isn’t working hand in glove with the media, check your pulse.  I’m just surprised they were stupid enough to put it in writing.
  • From the ‘Fluff Piece” Department – Mitt Romney and his wife Ann recently appeared on one of those IQ lowering daytime TV shows and discussed their secret indulgences and most embarrassing moments.  Ladies and gentlemen, if you thought journalism was dead, you haven’t seen anything yet.  Mr. Romney seems to like PB&J with a glass of chocolate milk, while Mrs. Romney likes doughnuts.  That’s funny.  I don’t remember Reagan going on Donahue to talk about the time he walked in on Clark Gable licking the underside of a Rolls Royce in search of an oil leak.  And to be honest, I’m kind of glad Clinton didn’t tell us his secret indulgence and biggest mess-up, although I’m pretty sure those two lists pretty much contain the same things.
  • From the “Mother of the Year” Department – A woman in Texas is in trouble after police arrested her for leading a group of kids in a series of pranks that caused thousands of dollars in damage.   Apparently Ms. Einstein took the middle schoolers to Walmart for supplies, took pictures, and helped them cause property damage.  All of this happened during a sleepover.  Whatever happened to “We’ll order pizza, I’ll make cookies, and we’ll watch scary movies all night.”?  Here’s hoping her punishment includes several hundred hours dressed up as a cartoon rat in a pizza joint.

A Message

Recently, Mitt Romney made an off the cuff remark about the socio-economic circumstances and motivations of Obama supporters. He claimed that a lot of them don’t pay income taxes, and they have become dependent on the government for the necessities of life. Not surprisingly, the press is skewering him.

We here at the DaddyBear 2012 campaign would like to voice our opinion on this issue:

If you are dependent on the hard working people of this country to make sure you don’t starve to death or lie frozen to the gutter, but are capable of earning your keep and don’t want that to change, then I don’t want your vote. That’s not to say that if I am elected, I won’t work in your best interest, because I will. It’s just that I believe that a kick in the ass and going cold turkey off of that sweet welfare money is in your best interest.

If, on the other hand, you believe that charity shouldn’t happen because men with guns make you do it, I would appreciate your support. If you believe that those who do not work should not eat, please vote for me.

Thank you, and God bless America, or at least forgive us for the last four years.

Thoughts on the Day

  • If someone ever writes my biography, they may mark this down as the day I snapped.
    • Want to know what’s more irritable than a bear with a sore head?  It’s a DaddyBear with a sore tooth.
  • If I order coffee at 7:30 AM and someone hands me a cup that smells like potpourri again, bad things are going to happen.
  • To the gentleman who complained about how much the abrasive soap in the men’s room hurts his hands, I will return your man card when you grow some callouses.
  • I hope you enjoyed your lunch of rancid fish and old garlic heated up in the break room microwave today. That’s OK, I wasn’t hungry anyhow.
  • I do not make charitable donations in order to make new friends, nor are they invitations for some simpering fool to call my cell phone four bloody times in six hours requesting additional funds.
  • Unless you are a policeman, doctor, or EMS, there is no need to come to a complete stop at the scene of a fender bender that happened 15 minutes ago.
  • Hint to grocery store personnel – Do not try to debate the value of the dog food your customer is attempting to buy.
    • Especially do not do this when he has a red glow behind his eyes.
  • Overheard at the dinner table:  Irish Woman:  I tend to read happy stories, where everybody lives.  Me:  I read history, dear.  No-one survives history.
  • I can hear geese heading south.  That may be the best thing I’ve heard all day.

30 Days of Tolkien – Day 16

Many are the strange chances of the world… and help oft shall come from the hands of the weak when the Wise falter. ~The Silmarillion

My Take – If you are relying on the strong person to be there to aid or protect you in time of need, you can be assured that the world will fall in on you when you are alone.  You, and you alone, are responsible for you.  No matter your circumstances or beliefs, you have something to contribute, most of all in your own life.  History is full of stories where a small action made by a nameless person turned the course of history on a dime.  The same can happen in a personal history.  The choice of whether or not to do the small things in your life can lead to your ability to deal with the big things that are thrown at you.

Today’s Earworm

I recently had to explain who Casey Jones was when I told Boo “Watch your speed, Casey Jones.”

 

Quote of the Day

“I’m not a pacifist,” Paul said, “but I do think it unacceptable not to hate war. I’m dismissive of those who champion war as sport and show no reluctance to engage in war. Any leader who shows glee or eagerness for war should not be leading any nation. I believe truly great leaders are reluctant to go to war and try mightily to avoid war.” — Senator Rand Paul of Kentucky, as quoted in Economic Policy Journal.

If the good Senator keeps this up, I foresee me supporting his presidential campaign in 2016 or 2020.