As though we were made for each other… Beauty and the Beast. Of course, if anyone else calls you beast, I’ll rip their lungs out. — Batman

Guys, treat her like she’s a queen, because to you, she is.  Let’s be honest, most of us are lucky that the lady in our life talked to us in the first place.  The fact that I’ve been with Irish Woman and she’s only tried to kill me on a couple of occasions is absolutely remarkable.  Make sure she knows how grateful you are for the fact that she doesn’t murder you in your sleep.

This place is an X-file, wrapped in a cover-up and deep-fried in a paranoid conspiracy. — Monsters vs. Aliens

There are two good reasons to classify something:  to protect operations and to protect sources.  Lately, I’ve been seeing a lot of things in the press that are being kept secret to keep the citizenry from knowing how their government works, or to save the government from embarrassment.  Keeping good guys from catching a bullet in the back of the neck is a good thing.  Keeping our elected officials and the bureaucrats that support them off of the TV news is not.  We have to know what is going on in order to be good citizens and voters.  If the government is not transparent enough for us to know whether our employees are doing a good job or not, then we are being prevented from fulfilling those roles.

Commissioner Anabell Brumford: Do you realize that because of you this city is being overrun by baboons?
Lt. Frank Drebin: Well, isn’t that the fault of the voters?

— The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear

Well, we’re coming into the home stretch of the 2014 election.  I can’t wait for the recounts, recriminations, crying, and gnashing of teeth to start.  To be honest, I’m sick of the whole thing.  Can’t we think of a better way to do this?  What about gladiatorial fights between the candidates, but only arm them with chop sticks and frozen tunas.

A pox on all of their houses.

Seriously, if I see one more attack ad or get one more spam email promising dire consequences if I don’t donate right now, I’m going to get stone drunk, crawl under the porch, and sleep until mid-November.

I’m not responsible for what people think, Pat, only for what I am. — The Big Country

I realized just how much of the baggage from growing up I had lost when there came a day when I just quit caring about what people think of me.  At least, I don’t care what most people think.  There are a few people in my family, my friends, and my co-workers who I respect, and I value their opinion.  But the vast majority of humanity, while I care about them as fellow human beings, can take a walk off a pier if they form an opinion about me.   I do the best I can, I take care of my own, and if someone wants to either respect or dislike that, it’s no skin off my nose.

Oh, please, God, please tell me none of this is real. Please tell me I had a nervous breakdown at my wedding and I’m in a mental hospital and I’m on medication that’s giving me hallucinations. — Monsters vs. Aliens

Reality sometimes seems very surreal, but it is what it is.  Wishing for things to be different gets you nowhere.  Regrets are even less helpful.  Accept what is, and if you don’t like it, find a way to either change it or make it no longer matter to you.

We gotta get outta here! We gotta get out! I gotta start packing, Your Highness! Only essentials, we gotta travel light. I’ll bring the guns, the weapons, the knives… And uh, how about this picture? I don’t know, I think I’m making a weird face in it… — Aladdin

There’s going to come that time when you have to get out of Dodge quickly.  Maybe it’s a flood or a fire.  It could be civil strife.  Heck, it might be your mama’s fallen and she can’t get up, and you have to get over there to spend a few days helping her out.  But the time to figure out what you need to grab and getting it together is not while you’re warming up the car.  Take time now to figure out what you need, where it is, and how you’re going to pack it.

And no, “I’m going to back up the truck and put the gunsafes and ammo boxes in the bed.” isn’t good enough.