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Product Review – BRCC Freedom Punch Energy Drink

This afternoon, after convincing myself that I did not need to spend $500 on a Romanian Mosin-Nagant or $2300 on a 1943 USMC M1903*, I noticed a new entry in the “Get yourself a little something on your way out” refrigerator next to checkout at Cabela’s.

That, friends and neighbors, is the Black Rifle Coffee Company “Freedom Punch” Energy Drink. It packs 200mg of caffeine into a 16 ounce can of fruity, zero sugar, goodness.

I tell you what, when I cracked that bad boy open, I felt a distant rumble of thunder and heard the cry of a bald eagle in a mountain pass. The light carbonation tickled my nose like the smell of napalm in the morning, and the effervescent taste of 1989 MRE cool-aid served in a Vietnam-era canteen cup made my day just a little brighter.

After sipping my way down to the bottom of the can, I felt my pulse quicken, my senses sharpen, and my spirit preparing itself to storm whatever objectives the day could throw at me.

Seriously, it wasn’t bad. It was very much on the sweet side for me, and probably could benefit from additional tartness. Irish Woman has developed a taste for Alani energy drinks, and the BRCC was head and shoulders better tasting than the one, count them, one Alani I have subjected myself to.

Cost was about par for an energy drink. Cabela’s was selling them for $2.99 apiece, and Amazon has them at $25 for 12.

200mg of caffeine is about what you’d get from two to three cups of strong coffee, so you should probably take that into account in your daily intake tracker. It can take me about an hour to drink several cups of coffee in a social setting, less when it’s fuel for work, but I downed this thing in about 10 minutes. The energy surge I got afterward wasn’t as drastic as the Fort Bragg Turkish Coffee Incident of 2000, but it was quite noticable.

On the plus side, each can comes with 100% of your daily recommended value for Vitamin B12, Niacin, Vitamin B6, Pantothenic Acid, (Vitamin B5)and Biotin (Vitamin B7). It has 160mg of sodium, which is slightly less than you find in the recommended serving size of Cheez-It crackers.

Overall, if energy drinks are your preferred method of your daily deilvery to your personal caffeine monkey, the BRCC Freedom Punch is definitely worth a try.

*I did not need these things, but I so, so wanted them. Darn this sense of responsibility and being an adult.

Today’s Earworm

Today’s Earworm

Musings

  • Note to self – When barefoot and handling lit charcoal in the smoker, make sure to account for each and every piece of charcoal.
    • Unrelated note to self – The ice maker in the refrigerator is frozen up again.
  • Any day you can work with your chain saw and go to bed with the same number of digits and appendages is a good day.
  • Note to self – When your wife says she needs to get some chemicals for her pool, it is not humorous to ask if she means Rid-X.
    • She also will not think it’s humorous when you call it an ‘above ground septic tank’.
  • Making your wife a bacon and egg breakfast on Mother’s Day, accompanied by new jewelry, won’t get all of your sins forgiven, but it helps.

Musings

  • Hey, kids! Did you know that you’re not supposed to put pre-ground cacao through your coffee grinder so you can see if it works in the espresso machine?
    • In a totally unrelated note, does anyone know how to get an accidental Hershey bar out of a Cuisinart burr grinder?
  • Friday, I put in 4 hours worth of yard work.
    • At the end, I was sun burned and a little dehydrated.
      • Luckily for me, I was drinking Miller High Life, so hydration was corrected pretty quickly.
    • Friday afternoon, a cold front came through and dumped several inches of cold rain on Kentucky. The rain continued until Sunday morning.
    • It’s now almost 30 degrees cooler than it was last week and I’m hoping all the plants Irish Woman bought because her gotta-dig-something itch overwhelmed her.
      • Welcome to Kentucky.
  • At Christmas, Irish Woman made enough food for 30 people and only had 2 people show up to her shindig.
    • This weekend, we had almost 30 people show up for her Derby party.
    • Somehow, we ended up with almost as much leftover food this weekend as we did at Christmas.
  • Is it a bad thing that I am almost as happy with the purchase of a new vacuum cleaner as I would be at the purchase of a new gun?
  • Is it bad that I spent more on a vacuum cleaner as I did on my first shotgun?

Review – Shark NV752 Assault Vacuum Cleaner

It’s not often that a reviewer as jaded as I am stands in awe of a piece of equipment, but this morning, I met the Shark NV752 Assault Vacuum Cleaner. To say that my jaw dropped at its capabilities and performance would be an understatement.

The NV752 is Shark’s entry into the Assault Vacuum Cleaner market, also known as Modern Sporting Vacuum Cleaners. It’s modular design, along with sleek styling, makes it a strong contender to move Hoover off of its Number 1 spot.

The NV752 requires some assembly before use, but clicks together in less than 5 minutes. Just a few moments of glancing at the included documentation, and you’re ready to roll. It’s modular, snap-together design gives the user choices between an easily concealed ‘detached’ mode for getting at those non-permissive environments in every home all the way up to crew-served vacuuming of large rugs and hard floors.

As you can see, the ergonomic pistol grip at the top of the handle is built for any number of hand sizes. I am led to believe that MagPul is working on a parts kit to make both the drip and the other polymer panels both more stylish and functional, but out of the box it fit my paw well.

Recoil from the powerful 120v electromechanical motor was sharp, but manageable. Less experienced vacuumers might want to start off with short sessions to get their grip and arm strength up, but those who have been around the rumpus room a few times will have no problem controlling this beast.

One note – two features of the NV752 may cause issues for some vacuumers.

First, the integral sound suppression provided by the included 3-stage filtration system (foam, felt, and HEPA) do not appear to have been evaluated and approved by the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Vacuums. After the DustBuster Arm Brace fiasco a few years ago, vacuumers should be ready to register their new carpet sweepers when the ATV comes knocking.

Second, the high-capacity dust catcher included with the NV752 may not be legal in some localities. Residents of Hawaii, California, Illinois, and Washington D.C. should make sure they are legally allowed to own it prior to purchase. I have it on good authority that an aftermarket part is being made available by Palmetto State, but a release date has not been announced.

As to performance, I cannot stress how well this beast pulled dust, pet hair, and small children out of my carpet. I regularly vacuum and shampoo our living room, but a few minutes with the NV752 actually lightened the color of our carpet. The vacuum head, complete with a rolling-block beater bar that rotates at a ridiculous 4500 RPM, patterned quite well on vintage shag carpeting. As long as I did my job, it did its job.

I have never seen a vacuum that was less picky about what it sucked up as the NV752. While some more up-market machines might only be able to process finely curated dust and artisanal debris, the NV752 ate everything I served. Steel, brass, polymer, or even ceramic went through it with no issues. I had no stoppages or failures to vacuum during an entire cleaning session.

For those in the government or private cleaning sectors, the NV752 should be considered for either general or special use. I would suggest a two-person team for each system. First, a ‘Vacuumer” to operate the NV752 and direct its cleaning. In addition, an “Assistant Vacuumer” will be helpful to rapidly switch out collection tanks, as well as carry spare filters and extension cords. A crew-served vacuum such as this would be critical component in both the conventional janitorial squad or more specialized units.

The NV752 is Shark’s entry into the DOD’s Next-Generation Carpet Cleaner program, but let’s be honest. Sig is going to get the contract, even after it’s shown that its equipment will spontaneously vacuum without anyone touching the power button.

MSRP on the NV752 is $319, but I was able to get it for $269 at Amazon. The cost-conscious consumer should be wary of knock-off vacuums that have the look and feel of the NV752, but when torn down for maintenance, are constructed out of construction paper and wood glue. In this case, you get what you pay for.

Kentucky Derby Line-Up

Welcome back, my friends, to the show that, unfortunately, never ends!

Today is the running of Kentucky Derby. Today’s race will bring to a close the annual “Period of Unproductivity”, a grand tradition in Kentucky where nothing gets done between the start of college basketball playoffs and the first Saturday in May.

It’s dark and cloudy here in IndiUcky this morning, so horses that have been trained in bayous and peat bogs will be favored in today’s race. Look out for any horse that has a snorkel attached to its harness to edge out those carrying scuba gear.

Here’s today’s line-up:

  1. Bourbon and Bad Decisions, a favorite of the fans here at the track. He’s a descendant of Moonshine Madness, the 1929 Derby winner. Amber and Orange silks- 5 to 1
  2. Sunburned Daddy, the first of a trio of horses from Methlab Farms here in Kentucky – Lobster red and bone white silks – 8 to 1
  3. Underdressed Mommy, another Methlab horse, and the only filly in today’s race. She’ll be wearing the undersized black and red silks – 10 to 1
  4. Overstimulated Toddler , the third and final Methlab horse we’ll be seeing today. Cletus McMountaindew, the Methlab trainer, says that this feisty two-year-old is prone to biting, so look for drama as they get to the gate. You’ll know this one by the silks splattered with odd assortments of mud and other substances – 7 to 2
  5. Cankles , a fan favorite for its fashion sense. This horse hales from the Western Ukraine Horse Reservation and Tax Shelter. Cankles is sponsored by the American tax payer and several promissory notes from the European Union. Flowered print silks. Today’s Favorite at 2 to 1
  6. OSHA Violations, an entry from the Louisville Metro Public Works department. Interesting note here – his jockey is Darren Ruckriegel, who is riding today as part of his community service requirement after being found guilty of several financial crimes as director of Public Works last year. Tipping the scales at 350 pounds, he’s by far the biggest jockey in Kentucky Derby history. He’ll be wearing the green silks – 20 to 1
  7. Finally, in the pole position, we have Infield Idiot, another horse popular with the fans. He’s sponsored by BrainDamage Malt Liquor and the Kentucky Cannabis Association. Look for him to not be wearing silks, in honor of all the buck-naked revelers in the infield today. 100 to 1.

Today’s Honor Guard is provided by several courageous members of the Kentucky National Guard who couldn’t get out of it. The Star Spangled Banner will be sung by University of Louisville Music Major Linda Badpitch, who will be joining the Kentucky State Penitentiary Glee Club to sing the expurgated version of My Old Kentucky Home.

For all of us here at DBN, we wish everyone an enjoyable and safe Derby, and hope to see you back here tomorrow for the cleanup. Bring your hazmat suit and your Zofran.

Confession

Yeh, have I sinned against nature and my beloved wife’s aesthetic.

For you see, my brethren, I have consolidated two to three incomplete sewing kits in cheap, brittle plastic boxes into one container made of tin, a material that will outlive us all.

Not even a cookie tin, but a tin that previously sheltered the blessed cake of fruit, crafted by the monks of Nelson County and bathed in sweet, sweet corn liquor. Yes, even now, you can smell the barrel house when you open the lid.

Ah, but my transgression is great, and the sorrow I have brought upon my house is greater. How shall she be able to see all the colors of the thread without the semi-see-through lid that is held shut by a deteriorating plastic clip? How will she be able to keep the thread that is azure separate from the thread that is the color of spun gold?

And to add to it, I labeled it incorrectly, having used a length of duct tape and a marker I took from Her Ladyship’s own desk to write up on it “SEWING KIT” so that the uninitiated may know the contents of said tin of holding.

Oh, the tackiness, the horror! Oh, the trashiness, the low-rent, trailer park mentality that led me to do such a crime?

Oh, the shame of it! Oh, how shall I ever make this up to her?

What penance shall I do to atone for this crime? Shall I flagellate myself with the many skeins of yarn that lurk in the house after our son, the Young Prince, the last scion of her father’s house, stopped his fascination with knitting these many years ago? Or perhaps I could walk thrice around the house after she has scattered the floor with some of the 3,925,843,212 Lego pieces that are housed in our basement?

Look not upon this poor sinner, children. Know only that it is better to have needle and thread placed strategically throughout the house than to have it consolidated into one durable, clearly labeled vessel.

A Good Breakdown on Self Publishing

Jill Bearup gives an excellent walkthrough on how her book, Just Stab Me Now, has done since self-publishing last year.

I’m delighted that she has caught lightning in a bottle. It’s good to see someone rewarded for something I enjoy.

Musings

  • It recently occurred to me that, someday, the social media messages of our society, especially those of our leaders, will be the subject of academic scholarship
    • I look forward to seeing “Use of the Poop Emoji in Presidential Proclamations, 2016 to 2028” as somebody’s PhD thesis.
    • “Look, Javier, I understand that jigglypuff2001 was creative in her eschatological imagery when referring to her political opponents, but if you look at her posts from September 22, 2020, you can see her inner thoughts about inner city poverty. “There’s nothing better than walking through the hood at 2 AM knowing that my non-binary, two-spirit fox-self will be perfectly at peace with the decolonized, indigenous population of West Oakland #atpeace”. I mean, you can just feel the serenity exuding from her soul when she wrote that.“
    • In this study, we shall discuss the festive imagery and joie de vivre in the post of April 7, 2019, where ponyboy85613 said “Gettin off work! This weekend gonna be lit as f!ck when me and the boys turn up!”
  • Today, while driving down the freeway, I saw a CyberTruck with a spare tire on a roof rack, a large light bar above the windshield, and red clay mud all over it.
    • All I can say, sir, is at least you tried.
  • For anyone considering moving to Kentucky, please keep in mind that the first 5 minutes of run off from me power washing my driveway today was a greenish-yellow slurry of pollen and mud.