Well, got some good news about the lawn mower. The dealer got it fixed faster than expected, and it will be returned on Friday. Looks like committing shovelcide only bent up the blade something fierce, so it was a relatively easy fix.

Grand total for getting it repaired was just north of $600. That’s much less than I thought it would be, and a whole lot less than purchasing the GrassReaper 5000 I was going to replace it with. Hey, if you’re going to make a statement, make a statement. My statement was going to be “I spent your college fund on a new lawnmower with its own sound system and a bigger engine than a 1996 Honda Accord”.

I asked for a written receipt for my payment, because I’ll need it for the tattoo artist I’m taking my youngest son to this weekend. I’m going back and forth on location. Currently, forearm, middle of chest, and forehead are the frontrunners. If I go with forehead, I’ll probably have to pay extra to have it put on in reverse so he can read it when he looks in the mirror.

I shall allow his lady mother a few minutes to plead for his skin before deciding. She has ways of convincing me to let the boy live to see his next sunrise.

I am a tyrant of my word, so the punishment phase of all this ends when the mower is back in the garage. Restitution phase begins immediately thereafter.

———————–

Life with the little fuzzy velocilabrador continues. Her diet is expanding both in volume and variety.

• Puppy food – Good for her, although I’m pretty sure it bypasses her digestive tract and goes directly to her legs. Maggie Mae is going to be tall.
• USB cables, especially those used for Apple products – Not sure why these are so tasty, but she goes through these faster than a pair of wirecutters. I’m discouraging this behavior, both because of her health and the replacement costs.
• Various articles of clothing – Apparently, the smelly, sweaty tee shirt The Young Prince left on the bathroom floor after taking a shower is a particularly tasty treat. Again, discouraging this behavior.
• Dishrags – Kind of puzzled on this one. The soapy taste can’t be very appealing, but she is fascinated with these things.
• Yogurt, cheesecake, and ice cream – These I understand. I just wish she’d have the manners to beg rather than grab them from whatever flat surface they’re sitting on before wolfing them down.
• Tails – Maggie likes to live dangerously, so she makes a habit of creeping up on her brother and sisters and affixing her sharp little teeth on their tails. The older dogs use this occasion to teach the young pup that they are bigger and stronger than she is, and a few “Th-th-the big dog b-b-bit me in the ass!” crying jags have been noted. Unfortunately, she seems to be a slow learner, so I expect this behavior to continue for a bit.

———————–

Speaking of puppies and sunrises, I need to pass on a quick pro tip for the younger readers – When your family has pets, especially puppies, extra especially if those pets are used to being let outside for their morning constitutional, followed by a leisure breakfast, immediately after the morning alarms go off, you darned sure better get your fuzzy butt up the moment your not-so-gentle “Hey, it’s the first day of school. Time to rise and shine!” alarm goes off.

Do not, I say again, do not let the alarm go off for about 5 minutes, slap it repeatedly until it quits making nose, then roll over and go back to sleep. It’s really a bad idea to do this if the noise of the puppy losing her everloving mind because she is hungry and has to pee realy bad was drowning out the incessant beeping. Especially do not do this if you are not as bright as your mother thinks you are and set the alarm for 5 AM, when your school bus won’t roll past until 8 AM.

Not following these words of wisdom makes your rather curmudgeonly gray haired father start to reconsider why he didn’t do the watusi in a Bosnian mine field about 15 years before you were born while he trundles himself out into the back yard, fuzzy pup in his arms, in the dark at 5:07 AM.

Look, I’m not pointing fingers at anyone, but when I shuffle off this mortal coil, I’m pretty sure Blue Bell ice cream will have something to do with it.

Their Banana Fudge variety is delicious. It’s even better with chocolate sauce, sliced banana, and slivered almonds.

————————-

The puppy is approximately 1/3 bigger than she was the day we picked her up.

Luckily for Sophie, she and the puppy have figured out how to wrestle. When Maggie passes Sophie up size-wise, in about 3 to 4 weeks by my calculations, hopefully enough boundaries will have been created to prevent snortal combat from turning into dachshund bowling.

————————-

The mower was picked up by the dealership on Friday. I should know whether or not it can be fixed in a week or so. In the event that it cannot be salvaged, the next mower will be fully selected for my use. The current model is zero-turn, but has a steering wheel. This slows things down a bit, but would be easier for Irish Woman or the Young Prince to use. Any replacement will be a skid steer, and I shall drive it like I stole it.

Speaking of the Young Prince, the weather gods have smiled upon him this week. It’s been hot and dry, so the grass has grown at a reduced rate.

Unfortunately for him, that doesn’t mean it hasn’t grown at all. Tomorrow and Tuesday, which happen to be the last days of his summer vacation, he shall be using the $30 push mower his mother bought when we moved to mow the entirety of the lawn. It’s not self propelled, and has a rather small footprint, which is why it’s great for doing edges and corners of the yard where the rider doesn’t do well. I’m curious to see how it does on the yard in general.

Out of a concern for his safety and the continuance of his mother’s bloodline, I have encouraged him to get out early and mow as much as he could before Kentucky gets as hot and humid as Satan’s posterior crevice. I hope he takes that advice. Should he fail to do so, he will be laboring under the hot sun all day on Tuesday to complete his task before he has to get ready for school on Wednesday.

————————-

Summer canning season is in full swing.

While Irish Woman and the Young Prince were in Florida, I bought a bushel of Georgia peaches and made a couple batches of peach jam and peach sauce. I picked up a half bushel of local peaches this weekend, so Irish Woman will be canning them this week.

Cucumbers are doing very well this year, so we’ve got several batches of dill pickles, some of them with chilis in them for a little extra kick. Irish Woman has made a batch of bread and butter pickles, and will be trying her hand at sweet pickles in the near future. Since I consider any pickles that require sugar to be an abomination in the eyes of the Lord, I shall not be partaking.

I went out to one of the local farms and got four bushels of canning tomatoes yesterday. So far, I’ve made a batch each of spaghetti and chili sauce. The Young Prince wants to try making pizza sauce, so that will get done when he’s not mowing lawns over the next couple of days. When that’s done, I’ll either make more pre-made sauce or make a batch of crushed tomatoes.

The zucchini is being very prolific this year, so I think I’m going to run what we don’t eat fresh through the food processor and freeze it. Zucchini bread and other treats can be quite tasty, and it’ll give us some free nutrition in the winter.