On Monday and Tuesday, Louisville had what we call a French Toast Emergency. This is when all of the Kentucky people rush to Kroger or Walmart to get eggs, bread, and milk. They do this in anticipation of a winter storm that will shut down the city. I’ve been here 7 winters now, and we’ve had exactly 1 storm that made me park my car and stay home.

But if I’m snowed in, I want something more substantial than the ingredients of french toast to get me through. I guess they think they can get through just about anything if they can make breakfast. Me? I stock up on steak, potatoes, and pie.

Apparently in 1994, Louisville shut down for a few days when a major blizzard piled a couple of feet of snow in the major roadways. What they call ‘The Big One of ’94’, we used to call ‘Tuesday’ back home in the Great White North.

Now everyone panics if it starts to rain or snow any time between December and March. The weathercritter spins everyone up into a frenzy, the city fathers dump a few tons of salt on the roadways, and I have to provide 3 phone numbers to the schools so they can get in touch with me in case school gets called. All of this before the first teensy weensy snowflake falls.

I’m hoping that one of these years we actually get a real winter here and my neighbors here in Kentucky grow a bit of perspective. A snow shower doesn’t seem so bad when you already have 3 feet of snow piled up in your front yard.

I’m working 3rd shift this week. Started last night. Got home about 8:30 and slept all day. I think I’ve flipped to night work pretty well this time. Of course at the end of the week I’ll have to flip back, but you can’t have everything.

And I’ve fallen off the caffeine wagon for the week. I’m not working 3rds and still having a family life without some directional aids. I promise to go cold turkey again starting next week.

On this date in 1791, the first 10 amendments to the United States Constitution were ratified.
For those of you who took a hit of blotter acid prior to civics class in high school, these are the ones that say what the government isn’t allowed to do to you. These are rights, not priveleges. They’re not granted by the government. We grant power to the government so that these rights can be safeguarded. Sometimes we forget that.

Here are all of the amendments to the constitution and my interpretation of them. This is a long one, but I think you’ll like it. H/T to Wikipedia on this one.

Amendment # 1
The government can’t force you to have religion, and the government can’t force you not to express your religion. It’s none of their business. You can say or print pretty much anything you want to and the government can’t do much to stop you. This right will not, however, keep your ass from getting kicked due to what you say or print. We can all get together to do something as long as we’re not hurting anyone, and we can complain to the government any time we want to when they screw up. Some people make a living doing this. What a country.

Amendment # 2
We have to defend ourselves, sometimes from the government itself, and the government can’t take away our guns or stop us from getting them. And it’s noone’s business but my own what I have.

Amendment # 3
The government can’t force me to put up and feed soldiers during peacetime, although I can pay for their beer if I want to, and during time of war, they have to actually pass a law forcing me to do this. But all they’d have to do is ask nicely, and I’ll sleep on the couch so a couple of paratroopers can get a good nights sleep and a good breakfast.

Amendment # 4
Got a warrant? No? Then come back when you get one. Please put that thermal imaging system away. And thanks for being a cop.

Amendment # 5
The government can’t just drag me into court. You have to convince people just like me that I’ve actually committed a crime. The government only get to try to throw my fat self into jail for doing something once. The government can’t force me to testify against myself, and I’m not saying anything until my lawyer gets here. The government can’t take my land to build a strip mall unless you actually pay me for it. And that better be a really nice strip mall.

Amendment # 6
The government has to let me have a lawyer. Hopefully one with a clue. The government can’t throw me into jail for a few years before they get around to actually accusing and trying me. I can’t be arrested in Kentucky and tried in Minnesota for something I did in New Mexico. I have to be told what I’m being accused of, and the government can’t stop me from trying to prove that their witnesses aren’t lousy stinking lieing rats who should be thrown in front of a truck.

Amendment # 7
We have to take our arguments to be decided by 12 people who couldn’t get out of jury duty.

Amendment # 8
The government can’t hold you on $2 million dollars bail for spitting on the sidewalk, and they can’t fine you that $2 million for said spitting. As satisfying as flogging a child molester or hanging a multiple murderer up to his neck in pig droppings would be, some panty waisted loser would have his feelings hurt, and we can’t have that.

Amendment # 9
Just because we didn’t think of it in here, doesn’t mean it’s not a right. This must be where that right to choice is.

Amendment # 10
The federal government only gets those powers that are given to it in the Constitution. If it’s not in here, they don’t get it. All of that stuff goes to the states, or better yet, the actually people who pay taxes and keep the train rolling.

Amendment # 11
The Federal courts can’t be used by anyone to sue a state unless the state agrees to participate. So you have to have their consent to try to sue them. Good luck with all that.

Amendment # 12
Way too long to put the text in here, but basically, we vote for electors, the electors vote for President and Vice President, and if you can’t be President for some reason, you don’t get to be Vice President. From the length of the amendment, you can see that the lawyers had already taken over by 1804.

Amendment # 13
You don’t get to own other people. And the government can pass laws to make sure you don’t. As a transplant to Kentucky, I can tell you there are a lot of people who either have a problem with this one, or haven’t heard about it yet.

Amendment # 14
Again, the lawyers must have eaten their Wheaties when they wrote this one. Way too long, but they were trying to cover a lot of bases with one amendment. First, if you’re born in the United States, you’re a citizen, even if mama came across the border only to have you in the ER in San Diego. Second, every person in a state is counted as a whole human being when figuring out how many electors the states get for electing the President. No more math in figuring out what 3/5th’s of a person is. Third, if you made an oath to the Confederacy, you don’t get to be a part of the government. No kidding? You can’t be an officer of a government you tried to overthrow? We actually had to write that down? Fourth, we’re going to pay our debts, but I’ll be damned if we’ll pay off the debts of the Confederacy.

Amendment # 15
Ex slaves get to vote, and Congress can pass laws making sure they get to. We passed this on in 1870. Only took 80 or 90 years for this one to be enforced at all.

Amendment # 16
Congratulations, the government figured out a way to punish you for making more money than it takes to keep your family at the poverty level. And there’s nothing you can do about it.

Amendment # 17
Another wordy one. We get to directly pick our Senators in an election, instead of the former manner, which involved something resembling the “Twit of the Year” contest.

Amendment # 18
Yet another one that was written by a committee. You can’t be trusted to drink alcohol, so it’s illegal. Everywhere. Unless you happen to be a Kennedy.

Amendment # 19
Women get the vote. Whoopee. Pants suits for everyone.

Amendment # 20
For the love of God, were they being paid by the word? The President and Vice President have to show up to work in January, and the Congress actually has to show up once a year.

Amendment # 21
18th Amendment? We don’t need no stinking 18th Amendment! You have to believe in something, and I believe I’ll have a beer.

Amendment # 22
You only get to be President for two terms. Not 4, just 2. No President for life. At least not again.

Amendment # 23
The District of Columbia gets to actually have someone represent them in the Presidential election. They just don’t get a Senator or Congressman with an actual vote.

Amendment # 24
You can’t be denied your right to vote because you can’t pay a tax. You should have to pass an intelligence test, but we haven’t passed that amendment yet.

Amendment # 25
The Vice President gets to be President if he bumps off the President.

Amendment # 26
18 year olds get to vote. Still can’t buy a beer, but they can at least vote for the guys who keep them from drinking.

Amendment # 27
The accidental amendment. Proposed in 1789, ratified in 1992. If a Congressman votes himself another unearned raise, he has to go through another election cycle before he starts to rake it in. This one is also a monument to that great American motto “I’ll get around to it”.

So that’s it. 27 amendments to the document that has governed the country since its founding. Not bad for a bunch of oppressors, or as we who actually deserve to be protected by the Constitution would call them, the illustrious geniuses who designed and founded our Republic.

Update –
Tam has a great post going on this one too. Check it out.

Baby Bear was very fussy over the weekend, and we chalked it up to him bonking his head on Friday.

We comforted him and gave him Tylenol.

Sunday morning, I noticed that he was drewling like a fiend and chewing on the cat.

I felt his gums, and lo and behold there was a rough spot in the front.

He’s officially toothed. Soon, he will begin chomping on his siblings and life as the animals know it will cease.

I, like most men who grew up after about 1955, have perused my share of Playboy magazines. Not so much in the past few years, mainly due to the creepy feeling I get when I realize that most of the women in recent editions are almost young enough to be my daughter.

But I do appreciate that Playboy is a provocative, entertaining, sometimes funny magazine that is enjoyed by many people around the world.

But I have to wonder exactly what was being smoked and passed around the office at the Mexican branch of the Mansion when they came up with this idea.

Bad Idea # 1 – Put a mostly nude model on your front cover emulating the mother of Jesus.
Bad Idea # 2 – Do this in a mostly Roman Catholic country that has a major historical habit of revering said mother, especially since she’s actually visited it.
Bad Idea # 3 – Publish it just prior to the holiday that reveres this mother.

I’ve known a lot of Hispanic men over the years, and the three most important women in their lives are the Virgin Mary, their mother, and their wife. Posting provocative pictures of any of those is probably going to get their blood up, paco tiempo.

Someone was either high when they came up with this idea, or they were totally insensitive to the sensibilities of their target audience, or they were out to make a quick buck by creating controversy.

It will be interesting to see if the Church has anything to say about this, and how sales of this edition do in Mexico and the rest of Latin America.

UPDATE:

Looks like Playboy has apologized.

Blackfive points us to a great poem that pretty much sums it up.

Give it a read and much love.

Well, looks like Chrysler and GM will have to find some other way to keep the wheels on until people start buying their products again.

Kind of ironic that the UAW would rather see the jobs of their members put at risk of total obliteration than to take a pay cut for the time being.

Wonder if they’ll get as good an offer if 2 out of 3 American car companies have to either lay off almost everyone or go into bankruptcy and force renegotiation of union contracts?

Glad to see that Ford seems to think it can get through this with no government help. Hopefully the other two will also be able to do it.

Had a bit of an emergency this morning, but thank the Lord it was only excitement, not injury.

Irish Woman has today off from work, so she decided to take some pictures of Baby Bear. He has learned to pull himself up on things, and she was snapping a few pictures of him holding onto Little Bear’s desk chair in our living room.

Baby Bear noticed his teddy bear on the floor next to the chair, let go of the chair and fell backwards.

He landed on his butt, then flopped back further and knocked his head on the edge of the fireplace hearth.

Apparently much crying and screaming commenced.

I got the tearful phone call here at work, and we were off to the emergency room.

I got there to find Baby Bear with a lump and some scratches on the back of his head. But he felt well enough to smile and flirt with the nurse who was looking at him, so I knew he was OK. Irish Woman, on the other hand, took a lot of hugging and talking to calm down.

Baby Bear is fine. Just the first goose egg of many. Irish Woman has calmed down and is going to spend the rest of the day cuddling Baby Bear.

My mother was on a first name basis with the nurses at our local ER when we were growing up, and one of the nurses recognized us from when we were there with Junior Bear last year. Seems that making frequent use of emergency medicine is a family tradition.

Hat tip to Random Nuclear Strikes:

Yes, I know the pic doesn’t look good, but use the link to see it all.

I’ve been paying attention to the auto industry bailout debate. Like I said, I’m of two minds. But the manner in which the executives of the companies, the UAW leadership, and the congresstrolls who support them seems to be “If you don’t give us a ton of money, everyone in America will suffer”.

Don’t come to me with your hat in hand, and tell me that if I don’t make your payroll for you my life will be ruined. It’s just not a good way to approach me.

My work laptop recently bit the big one. I didn’t cry too much because it was getting kind of long in the tooth, and I was thinking of asking for an upgrade anyway.

Luckily, the technicians were able to get my email and documents off of the system, and the Linux virtual machine that I use to develop and support was recovered. Unfortunately, they only were able to recover a snapshot that’s about a month old.

A month ago I was thinking about working on a script to do something kind of hard. It took me until last week to get it working to the point that I was satisfied with it.

Did I mention that my VM’s backup was a month old?

So, I have my VM, but not the script that I worked for over 3 weeks on. I realized this the other day, and after half an hour of looking at every server I support trying to find a copy of the script, I had nothing but some scribbled notes to fall back on.

Some things will just make a grown man cry.

I started work on re-doing the script. Luckily, I was able to remember at least most of what I did, so it looked like it would only take a week or so to recreate my work.

Last night I was looking for a report on my thumb drive, and stumbled across an old copy of the script. It wasn’t debugged at all, but the base functionality was laid down. I know where my bugs are, so I should be able to get it working in a couple of hours.

Back your stuff up people. Get a drive and copy to it. Then safeguard that drive.