Dear Moron,

Last evening, we met as you were walking down the double dividing line of a four lane, 55 mile an hour road.  You were the one wearing cargo shorts, a boonie hat, and walking with one crutch.  I was the the 3rd driver I know who was moving in the opposite direction who had to swerve at the last minute so as to not turn you into a statistic.

You see, there are no streetlights in that section of road.  While you weren’t wearing your SnakeEyes costume, you weren’t lighting up in the headlights too well either.  Thankfully, the fish belly white reflection from your lower legs helped a lot once I was close enough that my low-beams illuminated you.

While I am sorry that we, the users of the road, were driving at or below the legal speed limit and had to react violently to not strike you, I do not feel that bad.

You see, there was a perfectly good shoulder at the side of the road that people use every day to walk down that particular stretch of road.  Why you felt it necessary to prove your manhood and walk down the center of the road is unknown, but now that you know you’re mui macho, please begin using it.  It would do my heart, suspension, and steering wheel a lot of good to not have to go almost 90 degrees to the right at 55 miles an hour so as to not turn you into road pizza.

Thanks ever so much, and I hope you’re enjoying the hangover from whatever chemical enhancement brought you to the center of the road last night.

Sincerely,

DaddyBear

Tonight, as I type, the New York Jets and Buffalo Bills are battling on the gridiron.

I, a football fan since before I could ride a bicycle, am not watching.

I am watching the new Celtic Woman special on PBS with the Irish Woman.   I don’t call her the Irish Woman for nothing.

About 15 minutes into the program, she asked me if the setting for the concert looked familiar.  Lo and behold, it appears to be at Powerscourt Manor in Wicklow.  We went there when we had our honeymoon in Ireland.  It’s a beautiful place.  If you’re ever in the neighborhood, check it out.

I think, however, that Celtic Woman has pretty much run their course.  There is only so much Irish music that can be sung by 4 female voices.  And singing “You’ll Be In My Heart” from Disney’s Tarzan cartoon movie smacks of jumping the shark.

However, they still sing very prettily.  Only 2 of the 4 original singers are still in the group, and the new ladies do add some variety. 

I’ll flip over to the game once the show is done.    Neither team plays well until the second half anyway.

Sherman, set the wayback machine to the summer of 2007.

Our intrepid author learned that The Police were going to be coming to Churchill Downs for a concert on their reunion tour.  Being a lifelong Police fan and having a contact with the company that would be providing ushers, security, and ticket takers, I asked if I could get a couple of slots to work it.  I got lucky and was able to get two slots.

Originally, I planned on working it with the Irish Woman, who at the time seemed happy but not psyched about going.

The day of the concert, Junior Bear asked if he could go.  He apparently had liked the music he’d heard and wanted to hear it live.  I asked the Irish Woman and she said OK, but I didn’t pick up on the subtle queues she gave that said she wasn’t happy about it.

So I took my merry self and Junior Bear out to the Downs, and we worked our butts off while listening to Roxanne and Every Breath You Take.

I got home at about 2 AM, tired and dehydrated.   I had picked up a tee shirt for the Irish Woman.

Little did I know what awaited me.  She had been up all night, stewing.

You see, the Irish Woman has been a fan of the Police since about 30 seconds after their first LP hit the stores.  In the big box of records in the basement is every bit of vinyl they have ever released. 

And I had asked her to not accompany me to the one and only chance she would ever get to see them in concert.

To say that I was in trouble would be a vast understatement.  The tee shirt didn’t help, either.

She was mad, but the next day things were going OK.  But the subject of that concert has always been a sore subject.

Now, Churchill Downs is going to hold a 3 day concert festival called HullabaLou.  The premiere act on the first day will be Bon Jovi, another of the Irish Woman’s favorites.  The B-52’s, Doobie Brothers, and others will also play, so it’s going to be a hoot.  She wanted to go, but thought that it would sell out too quickly for us to get a reasonably priced ticket.

I just coughed really hard for Ticketmaster and am the proud owner of a set of tickets for her.  I thought about waiting for Christmas to give the confirmation to her, but she’d be bummed if she thought it was sold out before I could get tickets.  So I gave the confirmation to her and she’s currently on the phone to one of her friends making plans for July.  I’m not going to go.  I’ve never really cared too much for Bon Jovi, and I’ll get to spend the afternoon with the kids with no maternal influence.

Think I’m out of the doghouse?

OK, I have to ask these people to check on my condo on the lake of fire once they get to Hades.

First, the mayor of Baltimore has been convicted of stealing gift cards that were donated for poor people.

Let me say that again.  The mayor, an elected official who is entrusted to run the city and enforce the laws, has been convicted of obsconding with materials that were donated so that poor people could live a better life.

And Baltimore re-elected her why?  Hey, she can always run for office when she’s among the souls that have to spend eternity cleaning the fur out of ManBearPig’s fur.

Second, the home of a family that is dealing with the loss of four family members over the weekend was broken into and robbed.  The robbers didn’t even have the decency to not trash the place.

I hope for their sake the burglars didn’t know the families circumstances and just picked a house out at random.  If, however, they picked out the house on purpose assuming that no-one would be home because everyone would be at THE FUNERAL HOME, then they’ll probably be too busy cleaning out the urinals at Dante’s Sports Bar and Grill to housesit for me.

Just when I question my own worth and goodness, someone comes along and convinces me that I’m a little higher on the evolutionary ladder than slime mold.  Thanks Guys!

It’s a word we need to explain to the honorable (cough cough) senator from California, Barbara Boxer.

Her committee is going to hold hearings about the hacked emails from the CRU in England.  I think the original focus of the request for a hearing was to examine the data in the emails, figure out to what extent the findings of the CRU have on our own climate and ecological policies, and decide if said policies were based on fabricated scientific evidence.

However, Senator Boxer seems to think that her committee should be looking into the legality of how these emails and such got into the public eye. 

So, data that was hosted at a university in the UK was taken without the consent of the university or the scientists involved, and was then posted to websites in Russia. 

And the good senator wants the United States Senate to investigate if a crime occurred. 

For a moment, I’ll concede that the legality of taking data off of someone else’s computer and posting it for the world to see is at best legally problematic.  But if a crime was committed, it was committed in Jolly Old England, not the United States.

Other than a wish to cloud the issue, why is Senator Boxer wasting our time and money looking into this to see if a crime has occurred?  My gut tells me it’s because she’s afraid that if our own climate policy is looked at critically, it will disappear like the smoke and mirrors it is.

New York Jets at Buffalo – Jets
Saint Louis at Chicago – Da Bears
Denver at Kansas City – Denver, but look for this to be an ugly game.  I’ve never seen a clean game when these two play, especially at Arrowhead Stadium.
Tennessee at Indy – Indy, but Tennessee is on a roll.  This one is going to be close.
Philadelphia at Atlanta – Atlanta
New England at Miami – After getting their heads handed to them by New Orleans, I hope New England gets finished off by Miami.  Miami will win this one.
New Orleans at Washington – Redskins.  But the team is pushing my loyalty a bit far.  Time for a big upset to get them rev’ed back up.
Oakland at Pittsburgh – Oakland.  Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
Tampa Bay at Carolina – Carolina
Houston at Jacksonville – Houston
Detroit at Cinci – Cinci
Dallas at New York Giants – Giants
San Fransisco at Seattle – Seattle
Minnesota at Arizona – Minnesota.  Now is the time where Favre can prove that all the hoopla is worth it.  The season is 3/4 over, and he’s got to be getting tired and a bit banged up.  Can he gut the season out and continue to perform?
Baltimore at Green Bay – Green Bay. 

Did OK this week.  Not great, but 7 and 9 isn’t anything to complain about.  For the season, I’m 92 and 84.  Still above .500!

I fell asleep at halftime of the Patriots/Saints game.  Guess I missed the best part of the game. That’s a hazard of living in the Eastern time zone and trying to watch a night game.  It doesn’t end until almost midnight.  Wish the NFL didn’t wait until 8:30 for that kickoff.

 Usually, I make it at least until December 15th before I start to lose it from all the Christmas cheer.

WINONA, Minn., Dec. 1 (UPI) — A man using a hammer to smash big-screen televisions and cameras in a Minnesota store was stopped when police tasered him, authorities said.

 Poor guy must have been trapped in the store since Black Friday and had finally had it.

Hopefully this year I can make it to Christmas without an intervention.

The main suspect in the shooting of 4 police officers in the Seattle-Tacoma area has been shot and killed.  Kinda wish that he could have been hauled into a court to answer for his crimes, but if it had to be, it had to be. 

Let the lawsuits begin!

I can hear it now:

“Why did they have to kill him?”
“Why didn’t they just wound him?”
“He was a good guy.  He didn’t do nothing!”

What’s the line in Vegas on when the first ambulance chaser from the ACLU or something files in federal court saying that the police executed this guy in cold blood and violated his civil rights? 

Putting a jar of pre-peeled garlic cloves into the food dryer and attempting to dry them overnight will cause your entire house to be vampire proof.

It will also get you up out of a warm bed at 2 AM to move said food dryer out to the porch.  Now the neighborhood is safe from the undead fiends.

That is all.